# Hostess Fruit Pie! Apple! Holy shit! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2008, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848 "2008-03-10T17:12:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/1 "2008-03-10T17:12:49Z")
I was having a snack attack after lunch and decided to hit the vending machine on the second floor of my office building. For $1 I got a Hostess Fruit Pie (Apple). (Naturally and Artificially flavored). Holy shit, was it good! I haven’t had one since I was in High School, I think. I remember the Cherry ones were even better, but my only choice was Apple. God DAMN that was fucking good! I had a LOT of sugar in it, too. More than I’m accustomed to ingesting. Whew. DAMN! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/2 "2008-03-10T17:14:54Z")
Come back to this thread in an hour when you have the inevitable crash, sugar boy. :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/3 "2008-03-10T17:19:48Z")
When I was in elementary school and the inevitable noon lunchroom food-trading began, a Hostess Fruit Pie brought from home was the _ne plus ultra_, the apex, the paramount, the be-all, the end-all, the fucking gold standard. You could get _anything_ for a Hostess Fruit Pie… but why would you want to? Now I’m a grownup (more or less) and can have them whenever I want to, but actually do so only every five or six years, I’d say. Still like 'em, though. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/4 "2008-03-10T17:25:37Z")
Please share the calories and fat content, my dear. It might be healthier to bake an apple pie from scratch. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/5 "2008-03-10T17:27:06Z")
Yeah, baby. Ain’t nothin’ like biting off that extra thick sugar encrusted corner. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/6 "2008-03-10T17:27:53Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Yeah, baby. Ain’t nothin’ like biting off that extra thick sugar encrusted corner. [/QUOTE] :: delighted shudder :: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/7 "2008-03-10T17:28:49Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] It might be healthier to bake an apple pie from scratch. [/QUOTE] Not the same experience by a long shot. And not to send anyone into a serious sugar rush, but y’all realize it’s Girl Scout cookie season, right? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/8 "2008-03-10T17:29:20Z")
I want a dessert that’ll make me cuss. ---
**Author:** ![jonesj2205](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@jonesj2205](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonesj2205)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/9 "2008-03-10T17:30:41Z")
480 calories, 20 grams of fat in the much-superior-to-Apple Cherry version. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/10 "2008-03-10T17:32:00Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] Please share the calories and fat content, my dear. It might be healthier to bake an apple pie from scratch. [/QUOTE] From [here](http://www.calorie-count.com/calories/item/113356.html)… Calories: 480 Fat: 22 g Sodium: 390 mg Sugars: 36 g Jesus. That’s a lot of sugar. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/11 "2008-03-10T17:34:06Z")
I used to get those from the vending machine across the way from my dorm when I was in college. If I was lucky the cherry ones were there, if not, my options were reduced to Grandma’s Cookies, two giant stale cookies in a package. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/12 "2008-03-10T17:36:54Z")
That’s one of those things that, like **Elindil’s Heir** describes, when you’re a kid you tell yourself “When I am a grownup, I will eat these every day!” And then you grow up and you forget about them. Then you stumble on them again when you’re an adult and they’re just as fantastic as you remember. So you buy one every day. Except, after the second day, you start thinking “what exactly is it that gives this pie that fired-lard-and-sugar taste?” and perhaps consider the caloric content. Then after the third day, after your third pie, you imagine little gobs of “fried-lard-and-sugar taste” breaking off of the pie and sticking to the walls of your arteries. On the fourth day, you wonder why you’ve had to run to the bathroom so much this week. By the time you get back to the vending machine after the weekend, you’ve given up on your childhood dream. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tabula\_Rasa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@Tabula\_Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabula_Rasa)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/13 "2008-03-10T17:37:47Z")
The Vatican came out with a whole new catalog of sins today and still totally overlooked Hostess Fruit Pies?!! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/14 "2008-03-10T17:41:30Z")
Those are pretty damned yummy. I remember eating every flavor under the sun. Seriously, I think I’ve had them all. Chocolate…not as bad as you’d think. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/15 "2008-03-10T17:43:43Z")
Do they still make the lemon-custard kind? I’m sorry, but those were nasty. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/16 "2008-03-10T17:45:12Z")
Man, I haven’t had one of those for aaaages! Moderation is the key, no? My mom was hooked on [Hostess Ding Dongs](http://www.hostesscakes.com/dingdongs.asp) . With a huge glass of milk. Yeah, I think we went through a box in a couple of days. It was really hard to stop at one, but two was just the ticket. I think I may need to get me a box…for old time’s sake, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/17 "2008-03-10T17:51:41Z")
Apple fruit pies are overindulgence incarnate. I love them partially because they’re as good today as I remember as a child. But damn I just can’t rationalize eating one. As **TDN** points out, even the “bad” parts were good. But wow, I sure could do one right now. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/18 "2008-03-10T18:17:30Z")
Mmm. Delicious Hostess Fruit Pies ™. Perfect for stopping any act of supervillany! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/19 "2008-03-10T18:20:34Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] Calories: 480 Fat: 22 g Sodium: 390 mg Sugars: 36 g Jesus. That’s a lot of sugar. [/QUOTE] 67g of carbohydrate. Roughly the same as **an entire sixer of beer**. And that, my friends, is why I don’t eat any Hostess products. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848/20 "2008-03-10T18:26:16Z")
When you’re ready for the real thing, you gotta try Tastykake’s pies. Num-nums for the tum-tums! (click on “pies” to the left) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hostess-fruit-pie-apple-holy-shit/440848.md?page=2)