# Hosting a student from China - need answer fast! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2015, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106 "2015-07-14T02:33:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/41 "2015-07-15T17:36:18Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I also have a friend from Hong Kong to teach me how to say all the naughty words the “wrong” (i.e. Cantonese) way :D. Hey now, Cantonese was here first! ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/42 "2015-07-15T17:52:14Z")
We dutifully purchased an assortment of tea for our first Chinese student. Being typical American coffee drinkers, we were nervous about brewing the tea incorrectly. We were surprised to discover that A) our student preferred hot water to tea (hot water has been the beverage of choice for nearly every single one of our Chinese guests), and B) our student had no clue how to make tea. “I don’t know,” she said, “the maid usually does that.” Ends up that in order to come to school in America, you need to have lots of money, and labor for in-house service is dirt cheap in a country with over a billion people and a large underclass. Most of our students have been very well off. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/43 "2015-07-15T18:01:04Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > We dutifully purchased an assortment of tea for our first Chinese student. Being typical American coffee drinkers, we were nervous about brewing the tea incorrectly. We were surprised to discover that A) our student preferred hot water to tea (hot water has been the beverage of choice for nearly every single one of our Chinese guests), and B) our student had no clue how to make tea. “I don’t know,” she said, “the maid usually does that.” > > Ends up that in order to come to school in America, you need to have lots of money, and labor for in-house service is dirt cheap in a country with over a billion people and a large underclass. Most of our students have been very well off. This is very true, and was by far the #1 source of friction with our exchange student. She felt her only obligation was to do well in school and study, it was extremely difficult to get her to do the most basic of chores and cleaning up after herself. That sort of thing was handled for her all of her life. ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/44 "2015-07-15T23:18:41Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Not church though. I know it’s a Thing among (some) Americans to bring their new acquaintances to their church to make them feel welcome, but speaking as someone who was subjected to it thrice without his explicit consent, don’t… just don’t do that, please :o. I don’t know how “explicit” consent differs from normal consent, (were you thrice blind-folded?), but there’s nothing wrong with inviting him to church. At my conservative, middle class, high school, the exchange students usually enjoy it, at least occasionally. The rest of the world marvels (laughs?) at our high church attendance rates and Christian influence in politics. Many foreign kids enjoy the opportunity to see a Protestant service, something they wouldn’t, or couldn’t, do at home. I wouldn’t drag him if he’s resistant, but I wouldn’t deny him the opportunity to go out of an abundance of caution, especially if he can go to the youth group after church and hang out with some teenagers for an hour. Just don’t be offended when his interest is far more sociological than spiritual. ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/45 "2015-07-15T23:31:37Z")
Merde alors! I forgot to include: **Kobal2** , I think you’re too fluent to appreciate American church the way an exchange student does. Church is a lot more fun when you don’t know what’s being said. ---
**Author:** ![Scholar\_Beardpig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Scholar\_Beardpig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scholar_Beardpig)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/46 "2015-07-15T23:32:27Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Oh, but speaking of idioms, and since the OP said they didn’t speak word one of Chinese/Mandarin, a useful phrase snippet is\* hǎo bù hǎo\* (pronounced something like “raow boo raow”, only shorten the “oo”). > > Literally it means “good (or) not good ?” but you can use it to mean “do you like this ?” or “is this OK ?” or “are you alright ?” and so on. Even “good morning”. If the guy answers “_hǎo_”, it’s all good ; “_bù hǎo_” means something’s wrong (Chinese doesn’t have words for “yes” or “no”, instead you either repeat a “yes” statement or question to assent, or assert that an affirmative statement/question is wrong by adding a negative modifier to it - in this case, _bù_). In my gross Shanghai accent, it’s more like ‘haah boo haa,’ where the aah noise is something you’d do if the doctor told you to say ‘aah.’ Really, it’s such a stock phrase that any rapid-fire h-b-h sound will probably register as the desired phrase. Another good phrase is ‘keyi ma?’ It means, broadly, ‘can it be done?’ or ‘is it feasible?’ or ‘will it suffice?’ An approximate pronunciation would be ‘ke-ee mah?’ with an emphasis on the ‘ma.’ The affirmative is ‘keyi,’ the disagreement is ‘bukeyi.’ I very much second what **Dorjän** and **steronz** are saying. I’ve worked with upper-class Chinese teenagers, and their _raison-d’etre_ is based entirely around academics. Everything, and I mean pretty much _everything_ else, is done for them. (I’ve known many preteens and younger teenagers to have trouble even _dressing_ themselves.) Expect them to be stymied by even simple housework, even if they’re willing to do it. But yeah, I would say that you’ve probably got this covered if you’ve hosted a student before. In my experience, Chinese don’t have any obvious ‘sore spots’ that will offend or discomfort them out of the blue. I may suggest against talking _about_ China, as opposed to talking about how things are _in_ China, if that makes any sense - their education is very nationalistic and the kids might be uncomfortable talking about current events or about politics or whatnot - but I doubt it’ll come up. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/47 "2015-07-16T00:20:16Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > A question about food: > Is there any truth to the stereotype I’ve heard that Chinese people don’t like dairy products? I don’t know about the Chinese in particular, but East Asians in general are far more likely to be lactose intolerant than people of European (especially Northern European) descent. Actually I think just about everyone is more likely to be lactose intolerant than people of Northern European descent, but IIRC lactose intolerance is particularly prevalent in East Asia. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/48 "2015-07-16T03:14:54Z")
Also, if you feed him Chinese food, or give him anything “Chinese”, don’t ask him, _“Do you think it seems authentic?”_ There’s no good answer he could give if it’s not (i.e., Americanized tasting food, not Chinese-tasting food.) He’ll probably just feel the need to lie politely and say “Yes” when he thinks “No.” ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/49 "2015-07-16T03:29:54Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > FWIW I’m French and I don’t really understand the Quebecois either. I mean official documents and government communiqués and such are fine, but as soon as slang or common idioms come into play, it’s all Greek to me. What pray tell good sir is a “tuque”, why and wherefore should I attach one in general, and where exactly am I to attach one in particular ? A [touque](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knit_cap#Canadian_touque) is a hat, basically. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/50 "2015-07-16T04:49:00Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > Have bagels, cream cheese, and breakfast cereal around. I can’t speak for a billion Chinese people, but our Asian house guests have been unanimously uninterested in cold cereal + milk for breakfast. They have been more into stuff like sausages, hard boiled eggs, oatmeal or toast. Not to mention stuff I wouldn’t really consider “breakfast food” like hot dogs (_sans_ bun), cream corn and corn on the cob. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/51 "2015-07-16T05:47:46Z")
hogworth, that’s a pretty good breakfast summary. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/52 "2015-07-16T09:44:46Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > I can’t speak for a billion Chinese people, but our Asian house guests have been unanimously uninterested in cold cereal + milk for breakfast. They have been more into stuff like sausages, hard boiled eggs, oatmeal or toast. Not to mention stuff I wouldn’t really consider “breakfast food” like hot dogs (_sans_ bun), cream corn and corn on the cob. I’m sure you’re right; I just listed what I thought would be normal for an American teen. When I went to France at 15, I was not keen on a breakfast of dunking a baguette into a bowl of chocolate milk, but that’s what was served so I ate it. It didn’t hurt me and I got used to it. I would have _preferred_ Frosted Flakes, but one reason for staying with a family and not in a hotel is to experience their culture. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/53 "2015-07-16T10:03:13Z")
The host family might consider having some chop sticks around and say eating Chinese maybe once a week or so. Cross cultural exchanges are great. ---
**Author:** ![simple\_homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@simple\_homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simple_homer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/54 "2015-07-16T10:37:00Z")
American Chinese food can be very different from the Chinese food in China. A place like Panda Express might have only a few foods that are familiar to people from China. “Real” Chinese food typically has a lot of oil, bones, skin, and more vegetables. In China you will never see fortune cookies or the white take-out boxes. Just a small part of the misunderstandings between America and China. The Chinese also have many misunderstandings about American culture. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/55 "2015-07-16T12:38:50Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > I can’t speak for a billion Chinese people, but our Asian house guests have been unanimously uninterested in cold cereal + milk for breakfast. They have been more into stuff like sausages, hard boiled eggs, oatmeal or toast. Not to mention stuff I wouldn’t really consider “breakfast food” like hot dogs (_sans_ bun), cream corn and corn on the cob. North Americans are pretty much the only culture to have distinct “breakfast foods”. The rest of the world generally just has “food” and it’s eaten at any meal. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/56 "2015-07-16T12:42:52Z")
I guess I’m worldly then as I’ll eat most anything for breakfast. Cold pizza, of course. Leftover steak or veggie hash is also good. Ramen noodles with chopped up smoked fish and green onion is one of my favorites. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/57 "2015-07-16T16:47:51Z")
Finally popping back in - was out of town when I started the thread and was only able to glance at the responses. I’ll reread the whole thread now. Our student arrives tomorrow evening - he leaves China at 7 PM his time and gets here 8 PM our time, so he’s going to be exhausted! ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/58 "2015-07-16T16:50:49Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Just call him _ **Annyong** _ and everything will be fine. > [@Vinyl Turnip](#): > > Just keep an eye on your Coke. Um, what? 😕😕😕 ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/59 "2015-07-16T16:53:55Z")
Supplies! ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106/60 "2015-07-16T16:54:11Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > There’s a saying regarding Chinese dietary restrictions : the Chinese will eat anything with four legs that isn’t a table, anything that flies that isn’t a plane and anything that swims that isn’t a submarine. > So far, I can vouch for its accuracy :)… So, we should hide the chairs, provide mosquito repellant, and not let on that we all know how to swim? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-student-from-china-need-answer-fast/725106.md?page=4)