# Hosting a wine-tasting party -- with strings attached! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 12, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445 "2012-09-12T00:13:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/21 "2012-09-12T20:49:18Z")
I’ve always found these types of sales parties so bizarre. I don’t mean to paint a broad brush because I realize there are plenty of women who don’t host or attend them, but it’s definitely one of those things that does not cross the gender barrier well. I just can’t imagine a man saying to another man “hey will you buy some beer and wings and invite all your friends over so I can make them buy tools from me?” Yet it seems to be a staple of being a woman in America. I got an invitation to a gourmet-food-sales party recently. The invitation said “Husbands and kids welcome”. Way to make me feel like I’m really invited. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/22 "2012-09-12T21:01:38Z")
I’m not comfortable with the notion of calling it a “party.” Parties are social events; this is an event with the expressed purpose of conducting commerce. I’ve been doing a bit of thinking on the subject lately, and I’ve decided that I am NOT in favor of using the vocabulary of social relationships for describing that which is quite adequately described using the vocabulary of commerce. Such as “invitation” to describe what is actually a solicitation, “gift” to describe a premium (or sometimes an inducement), and “guest” to describe a customer. And so on. ---
**Author:** ![FrankJBN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@FrankJBN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrankJBN)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/23 "2012-09-12T21:09:37Z")
For the OP - how could your friend not know what she is putting on you? As to liquor license prohibiting her from providing the wine samples, that’s just BS. She can buy the wine from her company then do what ever she wants with it, including providing it to friends at a party. It’s just cheaper for her to have you buy the tasting samples. Have you asked to split her commission? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/24 "2012-09-12T21:31:45Z")
> [@FrankJBN](#): > > For the OP - how could your friend not know what she is putting on you? > > As to liquor license prohibiting her from providing the wine samples, that’s just BS. She can buy the wine from her company then do what ever she wants with it, including providing it to friends at a party. … I agree. Either your “friend” is lying outright to you, or has been completely duped by whatever marketing scheme she’s part of. In neither case should you make yourself part of the equation. Wine and _purses_? Has she combined two pyramid schemes into one? Is she hosting purse parties too? Do the purse hosts have to buy purses? ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/25 "2012-09-12T21:35:33Z")
> [@FrankJBN](#): > > For the OP - how could your friend not know what she is putting on you? > > (snip) > > Have you asked to split her commission? I wouldn’t ask her to split the commission. She’s struggling financially and while I’m not rich, I am in a better financial position than she is. I am glad to hear here that many people also think that \*she \*should be paying for the wine/cheese/crackers for these parties. That’s the number one thing that’s been bugging me, I think. If she paid for all that, I’d be much happier about “hosting” this “party” (sales event). And while I adore this friend, I could really picture her deluding herself into thinking that people should be delighted to host these parties, because they’ll seem all urbane and fancy with a private “wine expert” to guide them and friends through some Napa Valley experience. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/26 "2012-09-12T21:38:24Z")
She should specialize in purses designed to carry wine bottles. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/27 "2012-09-12T21:48:19Z")
While, ideally, she would pay for the supplies, it’s not a viable business plan. You can’t put up $80 of perishables for a party where you have 10 _potential_ customers, each of whom _might_ buy some wine from you. There’s no way you make enough commission to cover the cost and make it worth the time to hold the event. Of course, getting a friend to buy the supplies may not be a viable business plan either. This business idea just sucks rocks… ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/28 "2012-09-12T21:51:51Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > She should specialize in purses designed to carry wine bottles. For a second, I was looking for the “Like” button for this comment. 😛 And addendum – one of the reasons I’m hesitant to bring all this up with my friend is that she recently expressed to me that her husband is extremely DOWN on this business venture of hers. We have always been each other’s cheerleaders, so I feel like I should be encouraging her. But if it really isn’t a viable business plan…well, I don’t know. Maybe she can find a way to make it work, and I don’t want to be the one to pee all over her parade. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/29 "2012-09-12T21:54:21Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > While, ideally, she would pay for the supplies, it’s not a viable business plan. You can’t put up $80 of perishables for a party where you have 10 _potential_ customers, each of whom _might_ buy some wine from you. There’s no way you make enough commission to cover the cost and make it worth the time to hold the event. Of course, getting a friend to buy the supplies may not be a viable business plan either. > > This business idea just sucks rocks… It’s a great business plan if you can find an endless supply of friends to host your parties, pitch your products, AND buy your products. I agree with what was said upthread. The longer she is in this business, the fewer friends she’ll end up with. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/30 "2012-09-12T22:00:59Z")
> [@Quercus](#): > > I’d probably try and do something like go ahead and host the party, have fun. And wait for my friend to ask me to help her get someone else to throw a party, or complain about how hard it is to find people to host, at which point I’d say that it’s hard to get people to host when there’s a lot of cost to them and no benefit. > > That way I’m not complaining personally, but I’m pointing out the messed-up model. The only problem with that is that, were I the friend, I would think you were holding a grudge about it and wonder why you never mentioned it during the party planning. I suspect that she know the OP is better off and can afford to do her a favor. Not that she’s taking advantage per se, clearly the OP loves her and is willing to help out. Now I am off to have a glass of wine as all this talk of tasting has made me thirsty. ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/31 "2012-09-12T22:02:32Z")
Oh, lordy. I just watched a video from her website that kinda explains why it’s fun to host a party – and the whole thing is really that the host is “bringing the experience of a professional wine-tasting straight to your home!” These are the “benefits”: Fun and easy way to entertain friends Access to handcrafted wines not available in stores Discounted Shipping on Case and Half Case orders placed at your Tasting for you and your guests Online invitation system. Invite your guests and view responses online Learn helpful tips on wine and food pairing Have fun sampling wines in a comfortable setting before you buy Convenient home delivery (hosts do not have to receive shipments!) _sigh_ Now I just feel bad for my friend. I’ll host the party, but her husband is right – this is NOT a good business venture. Oh, and she’s thrown her little heart and soul into it. Oh, oh, oh… ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/32 "2012-09-12T22:05:01Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > … I suspect that she know the OP is better off and can afford to do her a favor. Not that she’s taking advantage per se, clearly the OP loves her and is willing to help out. … If her friend thinks this, that’s pretty much the exact definition of “taking advantage.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/33 "2012-09-12T22:15:20Z")
> [@smaje1](#): > > …Maybe she can find a way to make it work, and I don’t want to be the one to pee all over her parade. You should tell her what you think BECAUSE you are her friend. And it may not matter. A couple of years ago a person in our regular breakfast group was retiring and wanted to start an internet-based retail business franchise. She wanted to know what we thought, and every single one of us said we thought it was a bad idea. She had to buy their only their products, use only their marketing tools, and pay mothly fees for it all regardless of actual sales. And she did it anyway, and lost something like 7 or 8 grand in a year, which wouldn’t be too bad if there were any prospect at all of improvement – but there wasn’t. And she’s been bitching about it bitterly and non-stop ever since. Oh, and she seems to have no memory at all of having had lots of people tell her not to do it. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/34 "2012-09-13T03:59:31Z")
Six bottle of wine with shipping for $50 works out to maybe $6/bottle. WTF kinda Napa Valley uber experience will you have drinking that price range of wine? You might as well have a two buck chuck party instead… ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2012, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/35 "2012-09-13T07:34:12Z")
You owe it to the other guests to let them know what the cost of hosting the [del]sales event[/del] party is so that the don’t get talked into hosting without knowing what they are in for. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2012, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/36 "2012-09-13T09:55:39Z")
Relevant recent [Jezebel article](http://jezebel.com/5942048/shopping+oriented-pyramid-schemes-lure-in-ladies-then-steal-their-friends-cash-and-confidence), I think. I’ve been suckered into going to this sort of thing _once_ by a friend (Amway “party”, they were new in SA, my friends were naive) and never again. ---
**Author:** ![jepflast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@jepflast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jepflast)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2012, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/37 "2012-09-13T11:05:11Z")
I’m sure you did the right thing helping out a desperate (and probably naive) friend–only once, God have mercy–in a very awkward situation. Red flags everywhere. (Not the least of which is the price of the wine. 6 bottles for $50 sounds more like a torture party.) > [@smaje1](#): > > Oh, lordy. I just watched a video from her website that kinda explains why it’s fun to host a party – and the whole thing is really that the host is “bringing the experience of a professional wine-tasting straight to your home!” …and the red flags go right through the roof. Could we… may we… please… have a link to the website? I’m dying to see it. All will become clear. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2012, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/38 "2012-09-13T11:37:35Z")
I’m wondering how buying wine from some MLM scheme us a better deal than, say, buying cases from Costco. My wife and I aren’t vinophiles by any stretch, but we enjoy affordable wine from Costco. I know you feel guilty for your friend, but…come on! Does anybody actually make any money from these things? You know, compared to working a (modest) nine to five job? ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2012, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/39 "2012-09-13T12:46:59Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Six bottle of wine with shipping for $50 works out to maybe $6/bottle. WTF kinda Napa Valley uber experience will you have drinking that price range of wine? You might as well have a two buck chuck party instead… Truth. Also, how is it an opportunity to learn about pairings and effectively taste the wines if the wine and food pairings aren’t carefully planned by the salesperson. who presumably knows about them? My husband and I have hosted several beer versus wine pairing dinners, and since we’re relative newbies at it, it takes us a while to plan out each course and choose beverages for each, even for the cheese course. I’ve had some really successful pairings with some pretty inexpensive wines, but they took a lot of thought. It seems like the sole benefit the host and guests receive from the salesperson is that she would be assumed to have enough expertise on the wines to plan the whole thing. Unless the salesperson told **smaje1** precisely what foods to buy to have fun with each wine (not “you don’t have to stick to the list”- type instructions), they’re not even getting that, which (imo) is the thing that really makes tasting parties fun. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2012, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445/40 "2012-09-13T13:01:42Z")
> [@FrankJBN](#): > > As to liquor license prohibiting her from providing the wine samples, that’s just BS. She can buy the wine from her company then do what ever she wants with it, including providing it to friends at a party. It’s just cheaper for her to have you buy the tasting samples. I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Liquor laws are weird from state to state. If it _was_ truly just a party, and not a sales event, sure, the friend could bring as much wine as she wanted. But if she can take orders from people at this party, it’s getting into that gray area between a party and a sales event. Liquor sales from a private house would almost certainly be illegal in my state. To sell alcohol here (Michigan), you have a license that allows you to sell from a commercial store or a restaurant. A liquor distributor cannot sell directly to customers at all. Samples were only recently made legal, and they have to be paid samples - you can’t give them away - and for most licenses, they are limited to 3 3-ounce pours. I’m guessing that the way this venture is set up - where the party-giver has to buy the wine - is in fact a legal issue, not just bad marketing. After all, I can invite as many friends over to my house and give them whatever wine I want. I think if the person selling the wine showed up with it she risks getting in legal trouble herself, and the company she’s working for could also get in trouble. Thus, the whole “the hostess buys the wine!” thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hosting-a-wine-tasting-party-with-strings-attached/634445.md?page=3)