# Hot Chicks: Goatees Are Just A Prop That You Fall For **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 19, 2004, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622 "2004-12-19T07:22:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/81 "2004-12-19T23:57:32Z")
> [@Happy Lendervedder](#): > > You know who I don’t like? Those guys with “Fuck you, douchebag” tattooed on their foreheads. Those badasses get all the chicks. Last time I saw the Rolling Stones there was a part of the show where a bridge emerged from the stage and led the Stones to a small “nightclub” stage in the middle of the stadium. At this point all the people who had been sitting under where the bridge was now flooded into the aisles so they could see. I ended up with some guy with “FUCK OFF” tattooed on the back of his neck standing directly in front of me. I took great joy in howling along with the music right in his ear. ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/82 "2004-12-20T00:03:12Z")
(Thanks for the welcome **FinnAgain** and **yosemite** :). The name is actually even more obscure than Zork. Will get around to subscribing when the financial aid comes in…) ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/83 "2004-12-20T00:08:58Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > You wanna know… you wanna… you wanna know what I think is hot? > > _ **Chicks with goatees!** _ [Me with a goatee.](http://www.geocities.com/yellowlamia/lamiavlad.html) I painted it on with mascara. The ladies loved it, including at least one Japanese girl now that I think of it. If only I could grow my own, I’d have hot chicks 24/7! ---
**Author:** ![Leonard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a6a055/32.png) [@Leonard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leonard)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/84 "2004-12-20T00:32:23Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > (That’s another reason I have one, I don’t have much of a chin. :p) Hey, me too! Ladies, consider this the official memo. I’ll be here all week. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/85 "2004-12-20T00:34:00Z")
> [@EmeraldGrue](#): > > (Thanks for the welcome **FinnAgain** and **yosemite** :). The name is actually even more obscure than Zork. Will get around to subscribing when the financial aid comes in…) It has to do with Goodman’s paradox, right? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/86 "2004-12-20T00:44:18Z")
I’ve been thinking pretty hard about this whole thing for the past two hours, and I’ve come up with the conclusion that the OP didn’t mean ‘goatees’ but rather ‘goatse.’ Then it all makes sense. And on behalf of Goatse’d individuals everywhere, sir, I find your OP highly offensive, if not entirely true! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/87 "2004-12-20T00:51:43Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > [Me with a goatee.](http://www.geocities.com/yellowlamia/lamiavlad.html) > > I painted it on with mascara. The ladies loved it, including at least one Japanese girl now that I think of it. If only I could grow my own, I’d have hot chicks 24/7! Hot dang. If I was a hot chick, I’d be getting wet, here. Given that I’m a guy, there’s a certain other reaction involved, but that has more to do with the eyes, I think, rather than the chin. Hey, **Certainly If You Please** : > [@](#): > > So, if you’re a guy who wears a goatee to supplement your props for the purpose of projecting a bad boy persona for the purpose of attracting younger women who like that type of image then, yes, I think that you are a POSER. Given that that actually _is_ the definition of “poser,” I think they’re probably okay with that. Thanks for clearing that up for us. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/88 "2004-12-20T00:59:22Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > [Me with a goatee.](http://www.geocities.com/yellowlamia/lamiavlad.html) > > I painted it on with mascara. The ladies loved it, including at least one Japanese girl now that I think of it. If only I could grow my own, I’d have hot chicks 24/7! … I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/89 "2004-12-20T01:04:32Z")
I agree just about completely with **FinnAgain** ’s and **look!ninja** ’s posts, but just wanted to add: You’re _37_? I would have pegged you at around 23, 25 at most. Old enough to be bitter about watching hot chick after hot chick pass you up for “posers”, but young enough to still be whining about it instead of getting the fuck over it. There are naive folks out there who will fall for people savvy enough to exploit them. That’s _life_, not breaking news. Grow up, buddy. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/90 "2004-12-20T01:20:01Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > [Me with a goatee.](http://www.geocities.com/yellowlamia/lamiavlad.html) > > I painted it on with mascara. The ladies loved it, including at least one Japanese girl now that I think of it. If only I could grow my own, I’d have hot chicks 24/7! Is it my latent bisexualism? Or are you SUPER HOT!!! Oh! My! God! I’m serious. If you were here with me right now, I would find it near impossible to keep my hands off of you. Unless you said no, of course. Then I would have to surf porn for a while. Or call up my soon to be exGF and get back together for some fantasy sex with her while thinking about… Damn. Never mind. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/91 "2004-12-20T01:59:28Z")
Because goatees are such [hot chick magnets](http://www.thechickenstore.com/Magnets/magnets2.html), every lesbian in the world now sports one. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/92 "2004-12-20T03:58:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Ah, you hot Japanese chicks: powerless against the mesmeric influence of the mighty goatee. The _really_ amazing thing about the deception was that he only had the goatee for the last two weeks. 😕 Obviously he was using future-goatee-related superpowers. And **Emerald** , welcome, and hands off **interface**. He belongs to me on the basis of music taste. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/93 "2004-12-20T03:59:25Z")
And facial hair, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Lillith\_Fair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@Lillith\_Fair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lillith_Fair)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/94 "2004-12-20T04:06:39Z")
I don’t care what anybody says. No woman likes goatees. They look stupid. What a complete waste of time shaving out that little pattern. Either grow a beard of shave it off. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/95 "2004-12-20T04:15:47Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t care what anybody says. No woman likes goatees. They look stupid. What a complete waste of time shaving out that little pattern. > > Either grow a beard of shave it off. This is about as obnoxiously over-generalized and assumptive as the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/96 "2004-12-20T04:20:58Z")
> [@Happy Lendervedder](#): > > This is about as obnoxiously over-generalized and assumptive as the OP. And in direct contradiction to the evidence, I might add. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/97 "2004-12-20T04:24:13Z")
> [@Lillith Fair](#): > > I don’t care what anybody says. No woman likes goatees. What about women who say they like goatees? Is this one of those logical paradox situations where, if a woman told you she liked goatees, you’d start babbling “does not compute ddoes nott ccommp- _kkkrrrrchhkk_” and then flop over with smoke coming out your ears? 'Cause that’d be funny. Jenaroph (dating a guy who looks cute in a goatee) ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/98 "2004-12-20T04:28:15Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > It has to do with Goodman’s paradox, right? Yay, we have a winner!..Nobody ever gets that. It’s nerdy-in-a-bad-way, but whatever… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/99 "2004-12-20T04:33:25Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > What about women who say they like goatees? Is this one of those logical paradox situations where, if a woman told you she liked goatees, you’d start babbling “does not compute ddoes nott ccommp- _kkkrrrrchhkk_” and then flop over with smoke coming out your ears? 'Cause that’d be funny. That would be Star Trek-y! Evil Spock had a goatee. What a Pakled! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/100 "2004-12-20T05:07:22Z")
> [@](#): > > In fact, I tried a goatee for awhile, out of frustration, and realized that I, too, had become a POSER! In effect, I was using a prop to blatantly attract young women to me. And that, dear young naive ladies, is all a goatee is (most of the time): A PROP! A Peacock with no feathers. Is one lonely masterbating mother fucker!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622.md?page=6)