# Hot Chicks: Goatees Are Just A Prop That You Fall For **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 19, 2004, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622 "2004-12-19T07:22:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/121 "2004-12-20T21:45:19Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I have a goatee. It has not helped with getting me a hot young woman. It has helped me get a hot dude who’s a couple years older than me, though. That must make you a POSER, and this mysterious older man who couldn’t see through your ruse must be NAIVE and easily manipulated. Well, either that, or you don’t like shaving and don’t like wearing a full beard. Or, you just like being hot. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/122 "2004-12-20T23:25:04Z")
Oh, yeah? Well, that badass just gave half his paycheck to orphans! Orphans with _diseases!_ ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/123 "2004-12-20T23:33:55Z")
Goatees are relatively innocuous compared to bulletheads. Gals, what gets you off about a cueball man? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/124 "2004-12-20T23:40:40Z")
**Ethilrist** , **Miller** , **NoClueBoy** , I’m blushing here! :o I hardly ever get that sort of reaction in real life…must be because I’m usually sans goatee. I should start painting that baby on every day! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/125 "2004-12-20T23:50:51Z")
I don’t think a paintee is quite the same thing as a goatee. Unless it’s 1915, and you’re applying to be a Keystone Kop. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/126 "2004-12-20T23:59:24Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Goatees are relatively innocuous compared to bulletheads. Gals, what gets you off about a cueball man? [AHEM!!!](http://www.wayman.us/surfdope/) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/127 "2004-12-21T00:01:51Z")
All you have to do is grow yourself a beard like [this guy](http://www.gwpda.org/photos/bin19/imag1806.jpg), and hot young women with goatees will be crawling all over you. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/128 "2004-12-21T00:16:08Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > [AHEM!!!](http://www.wayman.us/surfdope/) On _you_ it looks good… On most guys, it just makes them look like d!ckheads. Are gals getting off on the obvious visual allusions? Or do they just like the macho-ness of a bright shiny head? ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/129 "2004-12-21T00:39:17Z")
> [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > And **Emerald** , welcome, and hands off **interface**. He belongs to me on the basis of music taste. Ladies, ladies, please … there’s enough of **interface2x** to go around. I think. Hypothetically. ---
**Author:** ![Kyyrewyyoae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Kyyrewyyoae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyyrewyyoae)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/130 "2004-12-21T06:31:26Z")
The goatee does seem to be a bit overdone. All this trimming and shaping is a waste of time. It should be free and natural, and, for best results, patchy and uneven. I challenge anyone here to a beard-off. First one down to the knees wins. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/131 "2004-12-21T07:06:46Z")
> [@Kyyrewyyoae](#): > > The goatee does seem to be a bit overdone. All this trimming and shaping is a waste of time. It should be free and natural, and, for best results, patchy and uneven. I challenge anyone here to a beard-off. First one down to the knees wins. Oh, me! Me! I’ll never win, I just like to play. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/132 "2004-12-21T11:05:16Z")
You know, I’m a woman who, in some circles, is considered a “hot chick”; I also have rather large breasts, as it happens. I’ve been in love with guys with and without beards (one may or may not have a beard depending on his whim – it grows that fast!) I have also been “double-bearded”, i.e. having the inside of both elbows massaged by the beards of the two gentlemen wearing them. I melted. Frankly, goatees don’t make a good first impression on me because I’ve seen too many guys wearing them who seem to be trying to be cool and impress women or, as someone said earlier, they come across as arty, pretentious types. I’m not really into either kind. On the other hand, I’ll offer up the OP as an example of a much larger turn off. Look, whether I sleep with a man after one night or one year is none of your business. Whether I choose to do so because his facial hair stimulated my body or his conversation stimulated my mind is none of your business. Telling me what I think or what I must think will make me think you’re a twit, and I don’t bed twits. I can also look out for myself, thank you very much, and I’ve done a good job of it over the years. Among other things, it led to me dumping a rather arrogant fellow who tried to tell me what to do and think after one lunch date. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Serpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@Silver\_Serpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Serpentine)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/133 "2004-12-21T12:00:56Z")
Y’know . . . women try to trick men into liking them via make-up and bras and such. Are all men nitwits for falling for that? And I like goatees. A guy with a goatee came into work and Sunday and he just just . . . _drool_ It looked really good on his face. I just about jumped the counter. But . . . y’know, that’s inappropriate. God, I hope he comes in again when I’m working. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/134 "2004-12-21T18:58:29Z")
> [@Kyyrewyyoae](#): > > It should be free and natural, and, for best results, patchy and uneven. I challenge anyone here to a beard-off. First one down to the knees wins. Well, I probably win on the patchy and uneven descriptor. For length though, I’d have trouble managing an inch, much less several feet. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/135 "2004-12-21T19:18:00Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > You leave Flexo out of this! > (Besides, Bender is obviously better, thus making _him_ the good twin) This is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever read. You ignorant, pig-headed moron! Naw, I’m just joshing you. You’re all right! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/136 "2004-12-21T19:18:18Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > Well, I probably win on the patchy and uneven descriptor. For length though, I’d have trouble managing an inch, much less several feet. I, however, have hairy feet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/137 "2004-12-21T19:23:40Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > For length though, I’d have trouble managing an inch, much less several feet. It takes a real man to admit that, especially out of context. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/138 "2004-12-21T19:51:32Z")
> [@Kyyrewyyoae](#): > > The goatee does seem to be a bit overdone. All this trimming and shaping is a waste of time. It should be free and natural, and, for best results, patchy and uneven. Seriously, what’s with the whole “trimming and shaping” thing? I shave my cheeks. That’s it. It’s the easiest part of the face to shave. It takes less than five minutes. Back when I had a full beard, maintenance was a pain in the ass, because the hair on one side of my face grows significantly faster than the other, and I end up looking like Inspector Detective. On my chin, though, it seems to all grow at more-or-less the same rate. I just keep the 'stache short enough so I don’t chew on it when I eat, and once a month even up the bottom. I’ve tried clean shaven, and I’ve tried full beard, and the goatee is far and away the easiest facial hair configuration to maintain. I’ve just spent more time describing my facial hair maintenace in this post than I spend actually maintaining it in an average week. And dammit, it [looks pretty good.](http://www.golfco7thmar.com/Dope6.html) ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/139 "2004-12-21T20:33:07Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Actually, I use a stencil, so shaving that little pattern is quick and easy. Yeah, but you’re obviously holding it upside down! (At least according to your other posts). Now me, I have a handlebar moustache! Take that, you posers! ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622/140 "2004-12-21T21:45:13Z")
**Face Fur of Destruction** Now, if that ain’t the funniest damn phrase ever to shout, **Band name!™** I can’t think of what would be. So I finally caved to this silly tradition. I’m so ashamed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-chicks-goatees-are-just-a-prop-that-you-fall-for/280622.md?page=8)