# Hot Girls Love Goatee: Statistically Proven **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 18, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718 "2004-07-18T21:06:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Certainly\_If\_You\_Please](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Certainly\_If\_You\_Please](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Certainly_If_You_Please)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/1 "2004-07-18T21:06:09Z")
So last night I was at a demolition derby and I counted the following: Young, hot women with guys with goatees: 25 or 70% Young, hot women with guys without goatees: 11 or 30% Young, hot blonde women with guys with goatees: 14 or 64% Young, hot blonde women with guys without goatees: 8 or 36% Young, hot brunette or other color women with guys w/goatees: 9 or 75% Young, hot brunette or other color women with guys w/o goatees: 3 or 25% Young, hot women with guys with prescription glasses: 2 or 5% Young, hot women with guys without prescription glasses: 34 or 95% Clearly, if I want style over substance, I need to grow a goatee and get eye surgery as soon as financially possible! ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/2 "2004-07-18T21:21:19Z")
Whew! At first I thought it said “Hot Girls Love Goat **s** e” ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/3 "2004-07-18T21:25:05Z")
Please amend your poll: It should be “Hot Girls _who attend demolition derbies_ Love Goatee: Statistically Proven”. That said, I have a goatee. My wife is hot. She doesn’t go to demolition derbies. Nor does she love goatse. I hope. ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/4 "2004-07-18T21:26:33Z")
I think your sample is too small. I love glasses and dislike goatees. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/5 "2004-07-18T21:33:38Z")
Eye surgery isn’t necessary. You can get contacts. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/6 "2004-07-18T22:02:56Z")
You obviously never saw my goatee neighbor. Or his wife. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/7 "2004-07-18T22:48:48Z")
I’ve been called “hot” on occasion- and I prefer guys without facial hair. Very rarely have I seen a guy who looks better with a goatee than without. I also have nothing against glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/8 "2004-07-19T03:23:34Z")
No comment on my being hot or not. I like a goatee on a dark-haired man. Blond or red goatees just don’t work for me, but dark goatees really really do. There are some shapes of faces, notably the very round ones, where a goatee is not much help. Maybe not harm done, but not an improvement. YMMV ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/9 "2004-07-19T07:54:13Z")
> [@Certainly If You Please](#): > > So last night I was at a demolition derby and I counted the following: Repeat experiment at Bolshoi, compare results. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/10 "2004-07-19T13:40:09Z")
I fear that the goatee is on its way to becoming the next mullet. Three more surveys: Count guys with both goatees and mullets. Count guys who used to have mullets but now have goatees (very high correlation in the 30 and older crowd). ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/11 "2004-07-19T14:19:54Z")
Or it could be that the men picked up the hot women **before** they grew the goatees. The hot women then demanded the men grow the goatee as a deterrent to scare off other hot women. Marking their territory as it were. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/12 "2004-07-19T14:42:13Z")
I have no face fungus and a hot girlfriend. [cheesy Japanese martial artist accent] Ha! I skew your statistics now! [/cheesy Japanese martial artist accent] ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/13 "2004-07-19T15:00:56Z")
> [@Certainly If You Please](#): > > Young, hot women with guys with goatees: 25 or 70% > Young, hot women with guys without goatees: 11 or 30% > > Young, hot blonde women with guys with goatees: 14 or 64% > Young, hot blonde women with guys without goatees: 8 or 36% > > Young, hot brunette or other color women with guys w/goatees: 9 or 75% > Young, hot brunette or other color women with guys w/o goatees: 3 or 25% Does not compute. 😕 Were 2 of the women with guys with goatees bald? (Get your minds out of the gutter, I meant bald-headed.) How many clean-shaven men were with _women_ with goatees? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/14 "2004-07-19T15:03:41Z")
This is purely a drive-by post to comment that when I saw the thread title on the forum index, I read it as **Hot Girls Love Goatse…** and did a doubletake! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/15 "2004-07-19T20:40:39Z")
I have: 1. A young, hot blonde wife. 2. A goatee. 3. Prescription glasses. _Blammo!_ goes your database. ---
**Author:** ![Aguecheek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Aguecheek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aguecheek)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/16 "2004-07-19T22:40:51Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > I have: > > 1. A young, hot blonde wife. > 2. A goatee. > 3. Prescription glasses. > > _Blammo!_ goes your database. I have: 1. A young, hot redheaded wife. 2. A goatee. 3. Prescription glasses. _Zot!_ goes the theories supporting your database. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/17 "2004-07-19T23:11:16Z")
I have: 1. A distinct LACK of a hot girlfriend 2. Goatee 3. Prescription glasses I don’t know HOW that pans out. Apparently, from what I can tell, the prescription glasses cancel out the goatee. ---
**Author:** ![Certainly\_If\_You\_Please](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Certainly\_If\_You\_Please](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Certainly_If_You_Please)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/18 "2004-07-20T07:24:20Z")
As follow up to my observation at the demolition derby: The next morning, I shaved only such that the outline of a beginning goatee was evident. Later that day, I did some errands. At the grocery store in the parking lot, a young female employee (maybe 18, 19, 20 yrs old) was pushing shopping carts my direction and stopped to talk to me as I was putting groceries in my car. Never happend before. I don’t think I came across differently, attitude-wise. Coincidence? Perhaps, but the scientific experiment shall continue…(And I do wear glasses…I’d be curious to see if I get any reactions wearing contacts). ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/19 "2004-07-20T17:08:23Z")
For some reason every time I see a goatee I think “pubic hair”. Seems like around here it’s mostly the pre-middle-aged-losing-their-hair crowd that goes for the goatee. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718/20 "2004-07-20T18:13:52Z")
> [@Earl Snake-Hips Tucker](#): > > Whew! At first I thought it said “Hot Girls Love Goat **s** e” I’m glad I’m not the only one who read it as that! I hate a goatee on a man. Hey! That means you’re calling me ugly! :eek: 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-girls-love-goatee-statistically-proven/255718.md?page=2)