# Hot, or not? Honestly rate your looks **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 16, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432 "2013-08-16T17:15:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Laggard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Laggard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laggard)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/121 "2013-08-19T21:20:19Z")
I often wonder what it would be like to be attractive on the outside. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/122 "2013-08-20T03:31:28Z")
> [@Laggard](#): > > I often wonder what it would be like to be attractive on the outside. I sometimes try to imagine how life would be different too, but then I think of women I know of who are beautiful and have severe personal issues. One is a friend who has terrible eating disorder issues, alcohol and drug issues, etc. When Portia deRossi’s book came out, they had a quote from it in Entertainment Weekly to the effect of her feeling when it was quiet and she was alone, that’s when she truly hated herself. Since this struck a chord with me, I picked up the book. So, if anyone watched Ally McBeal, one of her first scenes was taking her dress off and displaying a gorgeous body in skimpy underwear. I thought, wow, what would it be like to look like that, and what an amazing life this actress must have. To read what was really going on with her leading up to that shoot was pretty much the opposite of that. Obviously this is not to say that someone can’t be hot and have a happy life! Just that no matter what, everyone is dealing with something. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/123 "2013-08-20T03:48:16Z")
4, might be 5 or 6 if I improved myself somewhat. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/124 "2013-08-20T16:03:48Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > I’m a 5 or 6…I gave myself the 6. 😃 In my book you’re more than a 6, but then I like cute and curvy more than stereotypically-glamorous any day. I like people I can be comfortable with. 🙂 > [@Misnomer](#): > > Au contraire: unless your appearance has changed dramatically in the last few years, you’re more like a 6-7. Thanks! I certainly don’t _feel_ like that. Turning 50 probably hasn’t helped. > [@Misnomer](#): > > I suspect that your “conspicuous lack of success with the ladies” has more to do with a lack of confidence than your looks! Ah, that’s the weakness… > [@Laggard](#): > > I often wonder what it would be like to be attractive on the outside. I’ve often wondered that too. Based on an incident at the gym a few years ago, when my trainer and I were in the middle of a conversation and _both_ our brains were short-circuited by a gorgeous woman who walked by, and we completely forgot what we were talking about, I conclude that it would be a nightmare. Imagine never being able to relate as an equal to anyone because appearance always gets in the way. Imagine that everyone presses themselves on you and wants something from you, or fades back, believing themselves to be unworthy of you, or snipes against you, trying to bring you down. I have some limited conformation of this from my sister, who is taller than me and apparently something of a babe. Her adolescence was at least as bad as mine, but for different reasons. She was bullied when she started gaining her height and figure. ---
**Author:** ![Arabella\_Flynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@Arabella\_Flynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arabella_Flynn)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/125 "2013-08-22T04:06:19Z")
I gave myself an 8. It seemed a fairly reasonable guess. I honestly don’t know. I look at other women who look a lot like me and think they’re attractive. I walk around like I believe I’m attractive, and although I’ve certainly had days where I look like hell, I really don’t ever worry about my base physical appearance being unacceptable. I work sort of casually as a model, mostly for artists and designers of interesting clubwear. (Portfolio [here](https://www.facebook.com/circe.rowan/photos_albums); nothing actually NSFW, but some implied nudity.) I’m well aware that this is highly subjective, and that other people are liable to have any reaction from “Jesus, put a bag over that” to “I would ruin my life for you”. I’m generally treated as other people tell me that attractive people are treated in my culture (mainstream USA): People are nice to me, I get unsolicited compliments while walking around town, guys hit on me a lot, etc. On the other hand, I don’t fit the current standard Hollywood model of hotness. I’m short, I’m not particularly narrow of shoulder or ribcage, and I’m curvy more than lean. I’d have been a much bigger hit in the 1920s or 30s, and in the current climate, the shift in the fashionable figure might “devalue” me quite a bit. I have to know numbers to give to the wardrobe people, and they match up much better with Mae West than with Heidi Klum. So who knows? It only matters to me if I’m auditioning for something, or trying to pick up a guy, and in both of those cases I get to use my wits as well. ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/126 "2013-08-22T12:15:09Z")
I rate myself as a solid 4 – maybe a 5 if the lights are dimmed. If you’ve had a few drinks and your vision is a bit blurred, that might bring me up to a 6. My photo in is available for viewing in the SDMB Portrait Gallery and I will entertain any comments on my assessment of my rank… ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/127 "2013-08-22T12:19:14Z")
4 and sliding. Oh well 😃 ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/128 "2013-08-22T15:05:48Z")
I said 8. I never considered myself attractive, but many people have told me that I am, so I guess I should believe them. My hair is graying and an acquaintance called me a “silver fox” the other day, so that was an ego booster. ---
**Author:** ![FuriousGeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecae2f/32.png) [@FuriousGeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuriousGeorge)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/129 "2013-08-22T15:20:32Z")
I went with a four. Lower end of average… I’m certainly not gonna get the girl with my looks but I haven’t scared small children… yet. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/130 "2013-08-22T15:35:21Z")
> [@Arabella\_Flynn](#): > > I gave myself an 8… > I work sort of casually as a model, mostly for artists and designers of interesting clubwear…People are nice to me, I get unsolicited compliments while walking around town, guys hit on me a lot, etc. I haven’t stats to back this up, but I’ll throw out that maybe 5% of the population could even get casual modeling work, and I think I’m overestimating. If you had 20 random women walk through a door, of all ages and types, \*maybe \*one would get a professional photographer/designer to hire them for looks. If the 1-10 scale is supposed to be 10% in each, that objectively makes you a 10. If it’s a bell curve, it’s 2 standard deviations - 8 or 9, say, depending on the width of the bell. Routine, unsolicited compliments are probably also given to a very small percentage of the population (caveat - I am a guy, and on the quiet side. There may be more compliments to more of the population from more extroverted men of which I am unaware). ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/131 "2013-08-22T16:35:58Z")
I’m average so probably a 5. But, one time I went to a halloween party and wore a large black afro and some little sun glasses and I had multiple people tell me I seriously need to grow an afro (I’m blond and white) because I looked really good with one. So, along with the sunglasses, this tells me the lower 30% of my face is probably a 7 and the upper 60% must be a 4, averaging to 5. ---
**Author:** ![jools](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@jools](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jools)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/132 "2013-08-22T19:48:39Z")
I’m a 5… a solid 5! the eyes save me. Well that and knowing how to apply make-up. If we’re counting bodywise… I’m barely a 1! But I live with what I got and as long as I don’t scare people and make little kids cry, I’m good! ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/133 "2013-08-22T22:48:05Z")
1. I’m really fat, plain, big-nosed, and pasty. I had really nice long curly red hair until I fried it by swimming every day this summer. I don’t really have any nice features. Thin lips, crooked eyes, droopy and/or jiggly everywhere. Big feet. Even being fat I still have barely B cups, and they look more like udders than boobs. I have a lot of embarrassing scars too. I have a great personality though! ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/134 "2013-08-22T23:02:19Z")
I’m a good, solid 2 at best. I’ve been told more than once that I’m ugly, and once that I should kill myself to do everyone else a favor. and I don’t have a winning personality either. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/135 "2013-08-22T23:40:03Z")
> [@bup](#): > > If the 1-10 scale is supposed to be 10% in each, that objectively makes you a 10. If it’s a bell curve, it’s 2 standard deviations - 8 or 9, say, depending on the width of the bell. > > Routine, unsolicited compliments are probably also given to a very small percentage of the population (caveat - I am a guy, and on the quiet side. There may be more compliments to more of the population from more extroverted men of which I am unaware). Back in the 80s, an gf of mine had been an anorexic and had all sorts of body-image counseling, a lot of it about how people tend to under-rate themselves. She was told back then that there was a bell curve distribution, and that to get an accurate gauge of where someone really was you have them start at 5 and subtract one half-point for every negative feature and add one full point for features you get compliments on. It was actually done as a sort of party game - everyone rated themselves, then did it again using the formula after everyone else named what they felt was your most notable positive feature. It was surprising, sad, often funny. On average, people rated themselves 2-3 points lower than others did. My gf felt anyone scoring themselves 4 or more lower needed therapy, but everyone in therapy thinks everyone else needs therapy. Still, a friend of mine there scored herself a 4 when everyone else said she was an 8 (easily - beautiful figure, great voice, striking eyes) and yeah, she had issues. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/136 "2013-08-23T00:24:31Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > I’ve been told that I should kill myself to do everyone else a favor. I’m curious, who told you this? An ex? A bully in elementary school? Your grandmother? :eek: Who? ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/137 "2013-08-23T02:02:56Z")
No fucking [wombat](http://images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/005/cache/common-wombat_506_600x450.jpg?01AD=3neryGNJrA2K0aK1wBZ806-ZdlKR4Z7ITwctPhfG5a2AsEb2zgOaiTg&01RI=8B99C6B92A5E74C&01NA=) choice. Poll fail. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/138 "2013-08-23T02:41:20Z")
I don’t even have a decent personality to shore up my dull, boring, funny-looking face and body. Bad posture, bad teeth, bad hair, shaggy eyebrows, thin limbs but pot belly, and extremely mediocre in every other way. ---
**Author:** ![Arabella\_Flynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@Arabella\_Flynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arabella_Flynn)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/139 "2013-08-23T15:23:47Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I haven’t stats to back this up, but I’ll throw out that maybe 5% of the population could even get casual modeling work, and I think I’m overestimating. If you had 20 random women walk through a door, of all ages and types, \*maybe \*one would get a professional photographer/designer to hire them for looks. > > If the 1-10 scale is supposed to be 10% in each, that objectively makes you a 10. If it’s a bell curve, it’s 2 standard deviations - 8 or 9, say, depending on the width of the bell. > > Routine, unsolicited compliments are probably also given to a very small percentage of the population (caveat - I am a guy, and on the quiet side. There may be more compliments to more of the population from more extroverted men of which I am unaware). I honestly have no clue. I have nothing to compare my experience to – my life has been like this since the day I started looking like a grown-up, and honest assessments of the _nice_ things that happen because of appearance (as opposed to things like twits hollering at you on the street, hopeful suitors who won’t go away, jealous reactions from others, etc) are pretty much nonexistent among women, at least in my experience. It’s an interesting double-bind. There’s a lot of media directed at women, especially young women, exhorting them to love their bodies and believe they are attractive, but you’re not supposed to admit anyone other than you might think the same. I would lump most of the compliments in with generally getting hit on, but a fairly large percentage are from other women admiring my hair. I happen to live where there’s a significant Indian and Middle Eastern immigrant population; a woman’s hair is a big deal in those cultures, and I have a lot of it. I don’t know if, culturally, they are more or less likely to say something than native-born American or European women. Anyway, I linked to photos so everyone can judge for themselves, which is what happens in the real world anyhow. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432/140 "2013-08-23T15:39:05Z")
> [@Arabella\_Flynn](#): > > I honestly have no clue. I have nothing to compare my experience to – my life has been like this since the day I started looking like a grown-up, Yeah, it’s the same situation we’re all in. We only have our own experience, which is our normal. I dated exactly one absolute knockout in my dating days - the girl that everybody would get big eyes at, that was the no-contest most attractive woman in every social group she was in - and she didn’t know it. She knew she was “cute,” but that’s it. I tried my damndest to fall in love with her but just couldn’t. Ah well. My wife, and many other women I dated, are knockouts to _me_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-or-not-honestly-rate-your-looks/666432.md?page=8)