# Hot penguin sex! The stupid-how it burns!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2006, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797 "2006-11-17T05:35:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/141 "2006-11-21T22:08:29Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] No, **Grits and Hard Toast** was on target in describing my experience. I didn’t have a “reasonable comfort level” - I had a daughter in my lap waiting to be entertained, and suddenly realized this book had topics I wasn’t ready to discuss with her. So I changed the story, rather than risk getting questions I wasn’t prepared for at that moment - since I could do that **without her knowing it**. I didn’t sidestep or evade her questions, which I agree is not a good thing - I prevented them from occurring when I wasn’t ready for them. Please don’t misunderstand me - I agree this is a very good book for introducing the topic, and encouraging such questions. But only if the parent is prepared, and as I’ve said 3 times before - there’s no external indication that this book has such topics in it. [/QUOTE] The problem being is that you aren’t going to be prepared. In the last three months (mine are seven and eight - in first and second grade) I’ve gotten pop questions on sex, oral sex, homosexuality, use of the word nigger, what all sorts of swear words actually mean, the Holocaust, Nazi’s in general, slavery, child labor, why we go to war, why people kill other people, why people are poor, and strange questions about God (I’m a Deist, my husband an atheist - most of the kids friends are Christian - I HATE the God questions). Today’s question was “why do people grow hair on their balls? Does everyone? Do some people shave (!) it? Does it hurt when they do it?” (“No, it doesn’t hurt” (unless you cut yourself, please do not ask your mother about Brazillian waxing and the need for Vicodin and tequila - that would be worse than the Theology questions)). The “Does Santa really exist” was EASY. All of these are topics I’d prefer to be prepared to answer, and wish I’d have thought about before having to answer them at a seven year old level. This book is the tip of the iceberg, the topic is well handled for you in an age appropriate manner. Eventually you won’t be able to distract - the questions will be direct and come from your daughter. I would really recommend you learn to punt, and punt fast - because it sounds like you want this to happen in a tidy and controlled fashion - and good luck with that. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/142 "2006-11-21T23:11:55Z")
[QUOTE=Dangerosa] Today’s question was "why do people grow hair on their balls? . [/QUOTE] First I tried to grow hair in the yard, but it failed. Then I tried some potted soil. That failed. But, a lucky accident led to the discovery I could grow hair on my balls. I’m proud! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/143 "2006-11-22T00:02:06Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] No, **Grits and Hard Toast** was on target in describing my experience. I didn’t have a “reasonable comfort level” - I had a daughter in my lap waiting to be entertained, and suddenly realized this book had topics I wasn’t ready to discuss with her. [/QUOTE] I think there’s an important distinction between what you wrote here, and what you originally wrote in this thread. Here you say _you_ weren’t prepared, but earlier, you said _your daughter_ wasn’t prepared. It may seem minor, but the implications are pretty big. You not being prepared for that conversation is understandable. Lots of people were raised with very negative views of homosexuality, and it’s not reasonable to expect people to overcome those views instantly. It takes a lot of work, and not everyone goes at the same pace. It’s the willingness to work past those sorts of early prejudices that counts, not how far you’ve gotten with it so far. When people say their kids aren’t ready to learn about homosexuality, it comes across very differently, as if learning about gays when they’re too young is somehow damaging to kids. That’s kind of insulting, and the logical extension of this line of thought is that gays shouldn’t be allowed around kids. After all, if a kid can be damaged just by hearing about gays too soon, think what would happen to them if they actually _met_ one! I know, a lot of people who voice the concern you did earlier don’t follow the logic all the way to that particular conclusion. But there are a lot of people who do, and that can have a very negative effect on the lives of gays who work in fields relating to children, or who have (or want) children of their own. Which is why a lot of us were asking about your reasoning behind that: it’s one of those things that could be totally innocent, or could be a sign of some serious, active prejudice towards gays. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/144 "2006-11-22T01:49:17Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Cartooniverse > Who in their right mind takes the time or mental energy to be outraged over penguins doing what they do ? Batman! 😃 [/QUOTE] Does anyone really think Batman is in his right mind? Well, the Adam West Batman obviously was, but he never got all mouth-frothing about the Penguin. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/145 "2006-11-22T01:59:56Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] … but he never got all mouth-frothing about the Penguin. [/QUOTE] A rather unfortunate turn of phrase, considering. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/146 "2006-11-22T03:03:21Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] I My daughter wanted to read it right then, and I didn’t have the time or energy to go into non-traditional lifestyles with a 4 year old. [/QUOTE] Can I just say…well first of that I have not read all three pages before posting which normally I’m opposed to but I’m just too tired. But, honestly. 4 year olds know nothing about “traditional” lifestyles. Or what makes a good lifestyle beyond what they experience or what you tell them. Tell them being gay is a good lifestyle. No, it’s a good life. At least can be, as much as any other. My aunt didn’t want to tell me she was gay. I figured it out for myself. When I was 9. Asked my mom. She said “Yes, she’s gay”. I said “Oh. Ok.” And went on with my life. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/147 "2006-11-22T03:25:14Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] No, it’s a good life. [/QUOTE] Must fight urge to make reference to classic Twilight Zone episode. Must fight urge . . . ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/148 "2006-11-22T03:31:24Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] Must fight urge to make reference to classic Twilight Zone episode. Must fight urge . . . [/QUOTE] Oh, is that a nit? Looks tasty. Think I’ll pick it. You mean, fight urge to make reference to the the classic Jerome Bixby short story on which that episode of TTZ based, Doc. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/149 "2006-11-22T03:37:37Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] Oh, is that a nit? Looks tasty. Think I’ll pick it. You mean, fight urge to make reference to the the classic Jerome Bixby short story on which that episode of TTZ based, Doc. [/QUOTE] Sorry, I was distracted because the boy is doing television. It’s a _good_ program. Back To The OP Didn’t Ice Age also contain hints that the mammoth (or was it a mastodon?) was gay? It’s been a while since I’ve seen it, but I remember some pretty obvious signs. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/150 "2006-11-22T03:54:04Z")
Perhaps, but in the sequel they introduced Queen Latifa’s voice for a female mammoth, and he was promptly rehabilitated to heterosexuality. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/151 "2006-11-22T04:01:56Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] Does anyone really think Batman is in his right mind? Well, the Adam West Batman obviously was, but he never got all mouth-frothing about the Penguin. [/QUOTE] Are you sure? I mean, if he had . . . how could you **tell?!** 😉 ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/152 "2006-11-22T19:54:24Z")
**Miller** , that’s a damn good point. I guess I look at it like this - is it time for us to bring up the topic of homosexuality to the 4 year old - in our opinion, no. If she asked a question out of the blue, or inspired by something she’s read or heard, will I be uncomfortable with the question - yes. And they have met a gay person! Two of them in fact! Neither was engaged in any homosexual behavior at the time however, so if they remember them at all it’s as “the tall woman who works with dad” and “Auntie Sue’s friend with a lisp”. > [@DocCathode](#): > > Didn’t Ice Age also contain hints that the mammoth (or was it a mastodon?) was gay? It’s been a while since I’ve seen it, but I remember some pretty obvious signs. Not that I remember. In fact, part of the plot was the mystery of why Manfred disliked humans so much, until we found out his mate and offspring had been killed by humans. So unless this was an even more oblique reference to male mammoths adopting a child mammoth, he was straight. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2006, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/153 "2006-11-23T12:20:46Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Well, sure, but she’s obviously a slut. [Look at her!](http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/world/photo/2005/09/25/2005042538) Flashing that milky white breast under his beak like she was somethin’ special. Trash, that’s all she is, fishy oily trashy homewrecker. Silo’s obviously a little lost right now, and needs some time to work out some issues before he finds his happy place again with his husband. Seven year itch, indeed. More like seven year BITCH! [/QUOTE] We have a winner !!! " Fishy oily trashy homewrecker " 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jman267](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Jman267](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman267)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2006, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/154 "2006-11-27T04:49:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Soooo…it’s not appropriate for kids to read about creatures that love each other? Wow, 30 years of being taught this religion and its now mainstream. So anything is ok if its for love? Yuppers, Susan Atkins said the same thing after murdering a pregnant woman and eating her blood. She said “well, you really have to love someone to do that.” So, anything is ok if you LOVE someone. Got it. Does that work for murdering sex perverts, if it is done out of love? Yes, teaching this is RELIGION is ok, BUT don’t at any rate teach the LOVE story of Jesus Christ dieing for sinners to save someone from the penalty of GRAVITY. Awe, did that offend some of you “broad-minded, tolerant” posters? > [@](#): > > Why couldn’t you just say “Two penguins wanted to hatch an egg, but they were both boy penguins so neither of them could lay an egg to hatch. So the zookeepers gave them an egg that rolled away from another nest, and they hatched it and out came little penguin chick Tango, and they all lived happily ever after”? Exactly. Obviously, you guys need the MORAL of the story since you didn’t learn this from school, common sense, right and wrong, and scientific, observational phenomena. The moral is simple. Sex perverts do NOT reproduce children. They recruit. That is NOT anyone’s opinion or religion. This is SCIENTIFIC, OBSERVABLE PHENOMENA. What the sex perverts needed was SOMEONE (the zookeeper) other than themselves and God to REPRODUCE for them since they can NOT. They needed their own god. Since the Creator wouldn’t do it. Science is such a terrible thing. Kind of like GRIDS too. Those pesky little diseases that obliterate people all over the world. Of course, their (sex perverts that is) justification is almost always the same. God loves gays too. Yup, God loves rattlesnakes and black mambas, right? If He didn’t then why did He make them? Almost all queers claim God “made them that way.” God feeds coral snakes and Portugese “Men of War”. Want 'em all “out of the closet” and all over your shopping malls, kindergartens, Boy Scout camps, bus and airline lavatories, restaurants, soccer games and church pews? God feeds sharks, pigs, mosquitoes and cockroaches, SO…? Always found it how ironic we can learn about the “sexes” but not the Maker of the sexes. Tsk. Tsk. Someone is awfully afraid of what He might say about them. Oh, that’s right, I forgot, all human life came from lava and rocks ACCIDENTALLY with no goal or purpose in mind. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/155 "2006-11-27T04:54:35Z")
Is it too soon to start the countdown? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/156 "2006-11-27T04:54:50Z")
Ooooookay…I think we have a new winner. Seriously, that was parody, right? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2006, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/157 "2006-11-27T04:59:18Z")
[QUOTE=Jman267] Sex perverts do NOT reproduce children. They recruit. That is NOT anyone’s opinion or religion. This is SCIENTIFIC, OBSERVABLE PHENOMENA. [/QUOTE] Actually, I doubt that you could find any scientist who has even studied (much less “observed”) the “phenomenon” of “sex perverts” “recruiting” any one. If one begins with an error, one is likely to draw erroneous conclusions. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/158 "2006-11-27T05:17:01Z")
Wow, I didn’t realize that someone could possibly type that much while their head was stuffed up their arse. Fred Phelps, is that you? How is it that not one single solitary gay person that I’ve known has ever tried to “recruit” me? I’ll give you some SCIENTIFIC, OBSERVABLE PHENOMENA, fuckstick: narrow-minded bigots like you have banged on my fucking door and rung my goddamn doorbell and stuffed shit in my screen door in an attempt to RECRUIT me. Do me a favor-take your hate, your intolerance, your platitudes, and your perfect little “hetero-only” God and get the fuck outta my thread. In case you wonder about my lifestyle, I’m a lifelong hetero, a father, and don’t want my child anywhere near self-righteous shitstains like you. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2006, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/159 "2006-11-27T05:37:03Z")
Yeah, maybe, but at least you’re not being recruited by gay black mambas. Did you ever stop and think about that? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2006, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797/160 "2006-11-27T08:00:39Z")
[QUOTE=Jman267] The moral is simple. Sex perverts do NOT reproduce children. [/quote] Rev. Ted didn’t seem to have any problems. Nor did the teacher pederasts around here, all of whom were married with children. > [@](#): > > They recruit. That is NOT anyone’s opinion or religion. This is SCIENTIFIC, OBSERVABLE PHENOMENA. What the sex perverts needed was SOMEONE (the zookeeper) other than themselves and God to REPRODUCE for them since they can NOT. They needed their own god. Since the Creator wouldn’t do it. The zookeeper laid a penguin egg? That’s what I get from not keeping up with National Enquirer. > [@](#): > > Want 'em all “out of the closet” and all over your shopping malls, kindergartens, Boy Scout camps, bus and airline lavatories, restaurants, soccer games and church pews? God feeds sharks, pigs, mosquitoes and cockroaches, SO…? Black mambas crawling over the pews of Fred Phelps’ church? Sounds good to me. JMAN - go hump a penguin, 'kay? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hot-penguin-sex-the-stupid-how-it-burns/380797.md?page=9)