# Hotel detectives? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 29, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816 "2000-01-29T22:11:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/1 "2000-01-29T22:11:00Z")
What the hell were hotel detectives? What exactly did they do? When did they come into being, and when and why did they fall out of favor? Did they have the authority of a real cop? * * * “In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” - Ecclesiastes 1:18 ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/2 "2000-01-29T22:45:00Z")
Whoah… calm down there. They were the hell a member of hotel security that were trained as detectives. I’d imagine much the same thing as having a PI in the permanent staff, but with less photo ops of messy marriages. My guess is that they were there to: (A) Make the hotel seem more secure to its richer guests. You never saw a hotel detective at the local Best Western. (B) Act as a quick response to a problem before the cops arrived. © Act in the best interests of the hotel in keeping a crime quiet. Unless the detective was a member of the police force working on his spare time (my work hires cops on the off shift for security), he wouldn’t have any special authority, but could detain a suspect just like any other security member could at any establishment. I don’t know if or when they fell out of favor since my current budget doesn’t allow for more than a cot at the YMCA. * * * “I guess one person can make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/3 "2000-01-29T22:56:00Z")
Just out of curiousity, were you wondering about this because of the They Might be Giants song “She Was a Hotel Detective”? She’s got her ears to the walls and she’s tappin the calls so if you’ve got a secret boy, forget about it 'cause she’s a hotel detective ---
**Author:** ![Nekosoft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c2a13f/32.png) [@Nekosoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nekosoft)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/4 "2000-01-29T23:52:00Z")
Not to be confused with the They Might Be Giants song (She Was a) Hotel Detective. ## That’s what I thought, anyway. I don’t think it was the money. ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/5 "2000-01-30T00:57:00Z")
Okay, you’re right. What’s the other song about the hotel detective called? “She was a hotel detective, but now she’s better connected… she didn’t have to change anything, just the stencil on her window…” ---
**Author:** ![ellis555](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e36b37/32.png) [@ellis555](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ellis555)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/6 "2000-01-30T01:05:00Z")
i thought she was an angel? “the shriners loaned us cars. we raced up and down the sidewalks twenty thousand million times” -ellis ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/7 "2000-01-30T01:11:00Z")
Don’t get off topic, now. This thread is supposed to be about TMBG songs that are about hotel detectives ---
**Author:** ![special](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/special)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/8 "2000-01-30T01:23:00Z")
when i was a private investigator, i actually did some undercover at a hotel. it was really internal security work. i only went out a couple of times w/ the p.i. who had a regular gig w/ the chain because he needed to look more like a relaxed guy on the town throwing around $$$. we sat @ the bar, ate there, same thing next night to watch how the bartender interacted w/ customers. in order to get bigger tips, he was giving away stuff, which they guessed as the bar wasn’t making its projections. the other p.i. had worked for another chain for a while, going to different locations & acting like the awful asshole customer no one wants to see to test what service was like. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/9 "2000-01-30T02:35:00Z")
“Hotel Detective” sounds a lot better than “Security Guard”. I would think that in a different era, hotel detectives might be on the lookout for dangerous crimes like adultery, depending upon what type of crowd the hotel catered to. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/10 "2000-01-30T02:44:00Z")
The term “hotel detective” is somewhat archaic now. In the old days, they dealt with customer theft, kicked out undesirables, checked that there weren’t more people in the room than paid for (“That table is set for six.” “That’s nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.”), made sure no on left without paying, and made sure there was no sexual hanky panky going on. Judging by portrayals, they were not particularly well regarded. * * * “East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” – Marx Read “Sundials” in the new issue of Aboriginal Science Fiction. [www.sff.net/people/rothman](http://www.sff.net/people/rothman) ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/11 "2000-01-30T02:46:00Z")
Actually, wasn’t familiar with the TMBG song. You ocassionally see hotel detectives or “house dicks” referenced in old B&W movies. Also the song “We’re An American Band” by Grand Funk Railroad immortalizes them with the line, “The hotel detective, he was out of sight.” * * * “In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” - Ecclesiastes 1:18 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/12 "2000-01-30T21:20:00Z")
I hadn’t realized that they didn’t have house dicks anymore. My latest information on the subject comes straight out of Chandler. Do department stores still have store dicks? ---
**Author:** ![Ursa\_Major](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a88e57/32.png) [@Ursa\_Major](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ursa_Major)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/13 "2000-01-30T21:54:00Z")
Hotels are an ideal spot for a plethora of criminal activities (prostitution, drug transactions, visiting terrorists, etc.). If a first class hotel ever gets a reputation for being a hotbed of pimps, call girls, drug dealers, mobsters and vice-cops it won’t be ranked first class for long. The hotel detectives job is to keep all this riff-raff out. I’m sure they are still around, but have different titles like director of security. Anybody else remember the one where Granny is trying to hide Tweety, Sylvester and a bulldog from a hotel detective? ---
**Author:** ![Nekosoft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c2a13f/32.png) [@Nekosoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nekosoft)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/14 "2000-01-31T03:57:00Z")
Alright, to get back to the hijack: They Might Be Giants recorded **(She Was A) Hotel Detective** on the Miscellaneous T complilation (1991). “She’s got her ear to the wall, she’s tapping the calls” and They Might be Giants recorded **She Was A Hotel Detective** on the Back to Skull EP (1994). “She used to be quite a lady. She drove the underworld crazy.” ## Clear as mud. I don’t want to be first in line to see Mrs. Train. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/15 "2000-01-31T04:04:00Z")
To get back to the OP, another major function of hotel detectives is to provide valuable information to the p.i. who is actually our hero, thus helping advance the plot faster and saving the main man much tedious legwork. e.g. When Sam Spade wants to find out information about Joel Cairo, it’s evidently more convenient for him to ask his buddy the hotel detective than to have to hang around the hotel and spy the dubious character for a few days. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/16 "2000-01-31T05:05:00Z")
I don’t mind my threads being hijacked, but for a limp-wristed band like They Might Be Giants? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/17 "2000-01-31T15:15:00Z")
See THE HOTEL DETECTIVE, a most amusing novel by Alan Russell. Or, as Arnold W says, just re-read THE MALTESE FALCON. You can never go wrong re-reading THE MALTESE FALCON. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/18 "2000-01-31T16:55:00Z")
One of the jobs of the hotel detective in certain hotels was to make sure that men didn’t illicitly sneak women into their rooms for a liason. Now you pay for that by the hour. Times have changed. ---
**Author:** ![whc.03grady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@whc.03grady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whc.03grady)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/19 "2000-02-01T17:36:00Z")
Nekosoft: _(She Was a) Hotel Detective_ was on They Might Be Giants first, self-titled (eponymous) album of 1986 prior to Miscellaneous T (of 1991). Just to clear that up. ---
**Author:** ![whc.03grady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@whc.03grady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whc.03grady)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hotel-detectives/6816/20 "2000-02-01T17:37:00Z")
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