# Hottest Story-book character **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 22, 2017, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480 "2017-02-22T17:22:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/1 "2017-02-22T17:22:25Z")
You go to a party, and meet Goldilocks, Cinderella, Snow White and Little Red Riding Hood. Which one are you most attracted to and interested in getting her phone number? (Assume all are 18, if that matters) ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/2 "2017-02-22T18:26:56Z")
Gotta love an adventurous girl who has a respect for family. Plus the hood makes her super cas, so she’s not all stuck up like a Princess. Goldilocks is clearly WAY to high maintenance with her annoying-ass, “oh it’s too soft or too hard” thing. She’ll never be happy no matter what I do. Red all the way. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/3 "2017-02-22T18:51:39Z")
Goldilocks engaged in casual breaking & entry and Red was fooled by putting pajamas on a dog into thinking it must be her grandmother. Snow White is apparently the fairest in the land (if a bit naive around strangers) while Cinderella has magic quasi-relatives looking out for her and is no slouch in the looks department herself judging from the prince’s reaction. Depends on my goals: Snow White for a fun night, Cinderella for a relationship. I’ll vote SW for polling purposes as “hottest”. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/4 "2017-02-22T18:55:11Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Depends on my goals: Snow White for a fun night, Cinderella for a relationship. Shag, Marry, Kill: Snow White, Cinderella, Goldilocks ? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/5 "2017-02-22T18:59:20Z")
Is Red Riding Hood necessarily a redhead? It is her _hood_ that’s red after all. (why does that sound so dirty?) ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/6 "2017-02-22T19:09:02Z")
Borderline call, but probably belongs in Cafe Society. We’ll try this over there. Relocated from IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/7 "2017-02-22T19:39:46Z")
Snow White is _by definition_ the most beautiful woman around, so that’s a pretty big plus. As to personality, we don’t know a lot about them. Cinderella and Snow White seem able to put up with some pretty weird situations and remain decent people in good cheer, so there’s a lot to be said for that. As has been pointed out, Goldilocks is a burglar and Red Riding Hood is a doofus, so forget them. So I’ll give it to Snow White, who, being in the same universe as Cinderella (cheating a little here; the story of Cinderella is so universal it’s hard to say where it started, but their version is one of the best known) has to be better looking. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/8 "2017-02-22T20:48:59Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Snow White is _by definition_ the most beautiful woman around, so that’s a pretty big plus. Which incidentally is a significant flaw in the film _Snow White and the Hunstman_, in which the audience is meant to accept that SW (Kristen Stewart) is more “fair” then the Evil Queen (Charlize Theron). I mean, come _on_, there’s fantasy and then there’s just being silly. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/9 "2017-02-22T21:16:19Z")
Sorry, folks. This was not intended to appeal to the Cafe Society users. My apologies to any of you who are offended by a question that has nothing to do with reading or literature or the appreciation thereof. Moderator, please close this thread. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/10 "2017-02-22T21:23:50Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Snow White for a fun night… Heh…one of my favorite songs by Crack The Sky: [A Night On The Town (with Snow White)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJPafsJX8Kg). ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/11 "2017-02-22T22:11:51Z")
It’s a toss-up between the wolf and Papa Bear. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/12 "2017-02-22T22:15:25Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Sorry, folks. This was not intended to appeal to the Cafe Society users. My apologies to any of you who are offended by a question that has nothing to do with reading or literature or the appreciation thereof. It wouldn’t be the first or last “Hottest fictional person” thread in Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/13 "2017-02-22T22:32:19Z")
For a long-term relationship, I think I would go with Princess Fiona. I mean, the neighbors are having a loud, drunken party into the wee hours, who would not want a woman who could go over a make them all shit their pants. (looks are not everything) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/14 "2017-02-22T22:42:58Z")
Isn’t Little Red Riding Hood _seriously_ underage? [Maybe not.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fd/0e/3b/fd0e3bdcabcc9a62d14aba6b7e61abc2.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/15 "2017-02-22T23:26:26Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Isn’t Little Red Riding Hood _seriously_ underage? > > [Maybe not.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fd/0e/3b/fd0e3bdcabcc9a62d14aba6b7e61abc2.jpg) I was going to say the same thing about both her and Goldi, but we were told to assume they’re all 18. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/16 "2017-02-22T23:37:50Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > I was going to say the same thing about both her and Goldi, but we were told to assume they’re all 18. I always thought Goldilocks was a bit older. She did seem awfully knowledgeable about beds. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/17 "2017-02-22T23:39:18Z")
Where’s the **Rose Red** option? I go for those dark, exotic, sultry types. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/18 "2017-02-22T23:41:19Z")
If Cinderella is the Rogers and Hammerstein version, definitely not her. That’s got to be the absolute most passive character ever. I mean, at least the Disney version dreamed big, but the Rogers and Hammerstein version isn’t even brave enough to dream. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2017, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/19 "2017-02-22T23:48:35Z")
When thinking of Snow White my mind immediately wanders to the Rammstein video for “[Sonne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StZcUAPRRac)”. So that sort of ends the argument for me. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480/20 "2017-02-23T00:16:14Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > When thinking of Snow White my mind immediately wanders to the Rammstein video for “[Sonne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StZcUAPRRac)”. So that sort of ends the argument for me. [I’m sensing a theme](http://cdn.segmentnext.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/King%E2%80%99s-Bounty-Dark-Side.jpg). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hottest-story-book-character/780480.md?page=2)