# House Hunting Duds **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 30, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843 "2011-12-30T16:43:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/141 "2012-01-06T21:28:16Z")
Just remembered another one: “And down here you have a built-in wet bar, with a living area, an illegal bathroom, an extra bedroom and a storage–” “Whoa, whoa - an **illegal** bathroom?” “Oh, that just means they didn’t get approval or any permits from the city building inspector, but they don’t ever check up on things like that.” 😑 ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/142 "2012-01-06T21:37:24Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I always assume it is in response to someone living in the home losing mobility. > > “Granny can’t get up the stairs anymore without help - better put a toilet on the ground floor anywhere we can, and pronto”. That is exactly what happened in the case of my grandparents’ 1830s farmhouse in Ohio. Gorgeous once-a-showplace that I could go on and on about. Grampa kept falling, so they put in a bathroom in the front room of the house – what would be called a sitting room. The “living room” was another room. There were a couple of other perfectly acceptable places to do it, but the contractors ended up putting it there because of lack of insulation or running pipes or wires or something – there was going to be some problem with putting the second bath in a logical bathroom place. The moved my Grampa’s bed & dresser and stuff down to the rest of what was left of the sitting room and he lived in there til he died. Well, mom let him out of his room to eat and watch TV and stuff. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/143 "2012-01-06T21:44:48Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > Just remembered another one: > > “And down here you have a built-in wet bar, with a living area, an illegal bathroom, an extra bedroom and a storage–” > “Whoa, whoa - an **illegal** bathroom?” > “Oh, that just means they didn’t get approval or any permits from the city building inspector, but they don’t ever check up on things like that.” > 😑 No worries; I’m sure it was PERFECTLY safe, with no terribly unsafe decisions made by the do-it-yourselfers. :rolleyes: > [@Dogzilla](#): > > \ > Well, mom let him out of his room to eat and watch TV and stuff. 😉 That was nice of her. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/144 "2012-01-06T22:11:27Z")
I’m getting creeped out by thinking of these oddball toilet installations, especially in the basement. I’m imagining that some half-wit unlicensed handyman or a do-it-yourselfer with a book in one hand put these fixtures in, and the junctions to the sewer line are as mickey mouse as the rest of the accommodations. And then I foresee major blockage, either from a toddler trying to flush the kitten down the john or Grandma dropping her dentures when she flushes, combined with record rainfall and rising water table, and WHOOSH! The basement is inundated with backflow from the street main. Gotta love it! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/145 "2012-01-06T23:51:38Z")
The basement toilets I’ve seen have all been smack up against the soil stack, because that’s a fantastically easy way to plumb it into the outgoing sewer line, and (this is the horrifying part to me) they are tankless with the waste basically just emptying directly into the sewer line. They’re not that uncommon in older New England homes (pre-1900). My friend David has one. He’s reluctant to remove it because he fears that with 3 daughters coming up on their teen years it will soon be the only toilet he has access to. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/146 "2012-01-06T23:55:56Z")
Odd basement bathrooms … A couple years ago I did a bunch of sport shopping for new houses. Yes, they’re still building, albeit slowly, around here. The standard configuration around here is a full height basement with slab floor which is unfinished and contains HVAC unit(s), water heater(s), electrical panel, and occasionally washer / dryer hookups. There’ll be a bare wood frame staircase leading down from the main level. The expectation is the homeowner can later finish out some or all of the basement. If you buy before your place is completed the developer can also finish it out. In every case the floor slab has a bathroom roughed in. There’s a soil pipe sticking up out of the slab, as well as sink & tub drains & water feed lines. And in every case I saw, the relationship of the HVAC, water heater, stairs, and bathroom were as illogical as humanly possible. It seems the key consideration was minimizing the run length of the pipes or ducts. You’d see a 40x30 foot open expanse with three 6-ft square islands cut out of it; one for HCAV, one for water heaters, and one for the would-be bathroom. It would chop up that large area and make it impossible to build any logical arrangement of normal-shaped rooms. To save $40 worth of materials they’d destroy the utility of 1200 or 1500 square feet. And yes, I’ve seen quite a few houses with formal dining rooms converted to invalid bedroom / care rooms with a toilet somehow shoehorned into what used to be a broom closet, pantry, or hallway. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/147 "2012-01-07T00:22:08Z")
I forgot the **Angry Seller Strips the Backyard House**! During the housing boom the owners decided to have another house built, one twice the size of the one we saw which was already 4 stories and 3000+ square feet. Unable to sell, they rented to own to a family, w/ a 10K down payment. A year goes by, renting family falls on hard times (after painting one bedroom a lime green that lit the hallway), loses deposit and can no longerr buy house. Rather than rent it again the owners decide on a short-sale, but first they strip the new composite fence and awning (plus awning posts) from the backyard to use at their new place (I’m sure it just looks a peach!:rolleyes:). This leaves a bare pad w/ 4 dangerous Saws-all cut metal posts sticking up out of it and bare fence posts cemented into the ground. Niiiiice. It still hasn’t sold yet, looks to be on their 3rd realtor since last June. Our realtor asked us to put a bid on it to get the bank to move but by then I was on to her tricks when it came to short sales. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/148 "2012-01-07T00:32:15Z")
> [@Motorgirl](#): > > The basement toilets I’ve seen have all been smack up against the soil stack, because that’s a fantastically easy way to plumb it into the outgoing sewer line, and (this is the horrifying part to me) they are tankless with the waste basically just emptying directly into the sewer line. I don’t understand what you mean. They have to have a trap, don’t they? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/149 "2012-01-07T00:46:36Z")
**The Frat House**. First place we looked at in a student town. The realtor struggled to open the door. We stepped over the pizza boxes that were causing the obstruction and peered into the two downstairs rooms. A half-eaten kebab flowered on the kitchen counter; booze bottles were strewn on every surface that wasn’t occupied by an overflowing ashtray; there was a strong smell of sweat and vomit, and a bong on the coffee table. No doubt there were some half-naked students hiding upstairs, having forgotten they were meant to fix the place up for viewings. Instead of “we should come back another time,” the realtor said “try to imagine it cleaned up”. Try to imagine us going with a different realtor, we decided. ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/150 "2012-01-07T01:16:46Z")
> [@ZenBeam](#): > > I don’t understand what you mean. They have to have a trap, don’t they? Probably, but from a safe distance of a few feet away they look like dry black holes. Ugh so scary. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/151 "2012-01-07T01:49:34Z")
I actually grew up in this house, but it was kinda… special when my parents bought it. For example… **In Case of Apocalypse Break Glass House** - the unfinished basement has a side room filled with shelving which is filled with 25 gallon carboys all filled with distilled water. Since they’re too heavy to move, they’ve been there since we moved in… in 1981. and the **Bikers vs. Crackheads House** - the house is about halfway down a block of rowhouses. The upper half of the block was burned out and occupied by crackhead squatters. However, the biker bar on the corner had a subduing effect on the crackheads. However, to be fair it was also the **Holy Crap Its Hardwood House** - pulled up the shitty carpet to find… rosewood edged solid oak parquet ca. 1890. and the **It’s The Economy, Stupid House** - within 5 years developers fixed up the burnouts, the biker bar became a fruit shop, and property values skyrocketed. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/152 "2012-01-07T04:17:01Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > **House on the lake, and we do mean “on” the lake**. Cute little Craftsman-style bungalow with nice woodwork and built-ins. The region had been having truly extraordinary rain, and the house is in a floodplain, so I was not surprised when the agent warned me that the house was showing evidence of seepage in the basement. This did not prepare me for the couple of inches of water that confronted me when I went down to the basement. I could have floated little boats down there had I wanted to. Many people had this problem in the area I grew up when the water tables suddenly rose. Our neigbor had to fill in the basement with sand. For a while, water surrounded the house. Another owner put up a big sign that could be seen from the highway across a bay of the lake. It read “For Sale - Pool in Basement”. The DNR wouldn’t let us try to save our shoreline or help us with the problem. They insisted that the water was returning to its natural level. Then someone flew over the surrounding area taking photos. It became clear that a local farmer had filled in a small stream so he could just run his plow over it instead of around it. His act backed up a chain of five lakes. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/153 "2012-01-07T09:11:31Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I always assume it is in response to someone living in the home losing mobility. > > “Granny can’t get up the stairs anymore without help - better put a toilet on the ground floor anywhere we can, and pronto”. I wonder if this is the reason why certain houses in my area haven’t sold after numerous price reductions. My town, generally speaking is probably 50-50 families and seniors, and I’d have at least half of those seniors still live in their own houses (the other half are probably divided between the two “active retirement” communities on the other side of town and actual assisted living/NHs). My neighborhood is probably 60-40 seniors vs. families. It’s always amazed me that whenever a house is sold, the remodeling/HVAC people immediately arrive. It made me wonder if the concept of “move in ready” was lost around here. But now that I think of it, I wouldn’t be surprised if the houses that were sold were all outfitted in some way to a less mobile senior. My house isn’t outfitted – we moved my mother to a NH when she became immoble – but our decor is straight out of the 70s because we never have the money to update anything. And we still don’t 😃 ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/154 "2012-01-07T17:33:13Z")
O/T but the desecration of old houses by guys with chainsaws reminds me of the beautiful, jewel-like Bonwit Teller store. Beautiful antique-y bits of furniture, jewelry, expensive clothing, a drop-dead gorgeous chandelier, and what seemed to be hand-painted Italian murals on the stucco walls. A pleasure to just walk through (though I did buy things when I could). It went out of business, of course, and was turned into an H&M. Everything painted over with flat purple paint and multiple flat-screen TVs tuned to some ‘rapper channel’ hung on the walls. (won’t get into the horror of the merchandise). Very sad. One might read “The Haunting of Hill House” by Shirley Jackson for the ultimate in creepy-houses atmosphere. I wanted to yell at the characters. “Run. You Fools!” ---
**Author:** ![loshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce73a5/32.png) [@loshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/loshan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/155 "2012-01-07T19:42:03Z")
Years ago, a partner and I bought 12 rent houses from old guy retiring and getting out of the business. Great prices, great terms, marginal neighborhood. We did a cursory walk-through of all of them, but as they were all occupied and we anticipated putting money into upgrades and such, we didn’t look too closely. Foundations, roofing, etc. were in decent shape and those were our big concerns. The largest of the bunch had been rented to the same people for six years. She called me one evening and said that for some unknown reason, they were losing the power on one half of the house, once or twice per day for 20-30 minutes and asked if I would mind coming to check on it. What did I find? The house had been added onto sometime in the distant past and a new breaker box had been added for the new portion of the house. This was a standard, run of the mill, metal breaker box, installed IN THE FREAKIN’ SHOWER! Yup, right there about a foot from your left ear as you rinsed the shampoo out of your hair, breaker box. WTF?!!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/156 "2012-01-07T19:44:59Z")
ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I’m surprised they weren’t stacking up electrocuted bodies in the back yard like stovewood, loshan! Gotta admit, those AM showers are more invigorating than using caffeinated soap! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/157 "2012-01-07T19:55:05Z")
I’ve watched enough reno shows to be more-or-less aware of how idiotic people can be, but the breaker box in the shower is definitely up there. I always like the shows where they show the major support beam for the house that has been either sawed up in some way, or completely removed. It’s a huge frickin’ beam - did you think it was there just for the looks, hidden away in the ceiling? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/158 "2012-01-09T15:18:03Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > One might read “The Haunting of Hill House” by Shirley Jackson for the ultimate in creepy-houses atmosphere. I wanted to yell at the characters. “Run. You Fools!” I always thought the opening paragraph would make an awesome real-estate entry … > [@](#): > > Hill House - For sale by owner - Motivated Seller!!! $2,995,000 > > Hill House, not sane, stands by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it has stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. Within, walls continue upright, bricks meet neatly, floors are firm, and doors are sensibly shut; silence lies steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walks there, walks alone. > > Prestigious Street. Enter Through Iron Gates. Breath Taking Landscaping. Custom Built Home By Experienced Builder. Home Filled With Wainscotting And Coffered Ceilings. Walkout From Basement. This house, which seems somehow to have formed itself, flying together into its own powerful pattern under the hands of its builders, fitting itself into its own construction of linnd angles, rears its great head back against the sky without concession to humanity.\*\*\*\* EXTRAS \*\*\*\* All Electric Light Fixtures, Built In Appliances, Wine Fridge Included, Cvac, Cac, Sprinkler Systems, Heated Floor, Sauna, Wine Cellar. Measurements To Be Verified. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/159 "2012-01-09T15:43:26Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I always thought the opening paragraph would make an awesome real-estate entry … :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843/160 "2012-01-09T17:42:14Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > I actually grew up in this house, but it was kinda… special when my parents bought it. For example… > > **In Case of Apocalypse Break Glass House** - the unfinished basement has a side room filled with shelving which is filled with 25 gallon carboys all filled with distilled water. Since they’re too heavy to move, they’ve been there since we moved in… in 1981. 3 or 4 yards of tygon tubing, pop the lids and siphon out the water, not a problem. Then sell the glass carboys to local brewers for $25 apiece. Problem solved 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-hunting-duds/607843.md?page=9)