# House Speaker Contest **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [November 12, 2022, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770 "2022-11-12T00:48:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 72
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1421 "2023-01-06T01:13:33Z")
I’m curious how this sort of thing went down back in the day when C-Span wasn’t streamed over the internet, and the TV networks had harsher limits on channels and timeslots to dedicate to coverage. ~Max ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1422 "2023-01-06T01:15:05Z")
Well really, it’s only been weird this time. Unless you go back a hundred years. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1423 "2023-01-06T01:16:44Z")
That might explain it. I had assumed there were contentious Speaker races in more recent history. We didn’t get a lot of history on House Speakers in school. ~Max ---
**Author:** ![MikeF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MikeF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeF)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1424 "2023-01-06T01:20:27Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > Welcome back my friends > to the vote that never ends. > We’re so glad you could attend > Come inside! Come inside Prepare your vote to cast It will not be the last Its eight! Now, half past! Lets adjourn. Lets adjourn. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1425 "2023-01-06T01:24:29Z")
excellent! ---
**Author:** ![Ssounder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@Ssounder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ssounder)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1426 "2023-01-06T01:27:05Z")
_You can check out anytime you want, but you can never leave…_ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1427 "2023-01-06T01:28:55Z")
Come inside, the vote’s about to start Guaranteed to blow Republicans apart Rest assured we’ll vote until we’re ill With the longest show on Capitol Hill ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1428 "2023-01-06T01:36:23Z")
Lo! McCarthy, of the GOP, doth strive To grasp the Speaker’s gavel and the reigns Of Congress, yet his quest doth not thrive For those within his party block his gains. Eleven ballots have been held, and still He falls short of the votes that he doth need For Democrats, a valiant, stalwart crew, Do stand against him, with their ranks unyielded. The GOP, a party rent asunder, Doth hinder McCarthy’s rise to power. Infighting, bickering, and blunder Do mar their unity hour by hour. But Democrats, a noble, valiant band, Do fight for justice, with a steady hand. Courtesy of Chat-GPT. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1429 "2023-01-06T01:38:26Z")
I prefer: _Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down_ _And meet the best Party leader in town_ _As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:_ _Rooking their voters and cooking the books_ _Seldom do you see_ _Honest men like me_ _A gent of good intent_ _Who’s content to be_ _Speaker of the House, doling out the charm_ _Ready with a handshake and an open palm_ _Promise anything, make a little stir_ _Members do appreciate a bon-viveur_ _Glad to do a friend a favor_ _Doesn’t cost me to be nice_ _But nothing gets you nothing_ _Everything has got a little price!_ ---
**Author:** ![flurb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@flurb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flurb)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1430 "2023-01-06T01:41:03Z")
> [@Max\_S](#): > > That might explain it. I had assumed there were contentious Speaker races in more recent history. We didn’t get a lot of history on House Speakers in school. There have been plenty of contentious Speaker races in American history – but the contention was within the closed confines of the majority party’s caucus. One of the reasons that this is all splashing out in public is because the ability of party leaders to enforce discipline has eroded significantly over the last couple decades. ---
**Author:** ![MikeF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MikeF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeF)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1431 "2023-01-06T01:41:59Z")
Just look across the aisle Clowns of every style This is going to take a while Dems just smile. Dems just smile. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1432 "2023-01-06T01:42:18Z")
> [@flurb](#): > > There have been plenty of contentious Speaker races in American history – but the contention was within the closed confines of the majority party’s caucus. Exactly. There may have been bloody fights for leadership, but those happened behind closed doors, prior to the actual voting. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1433 "2023-01-06T01:48:54Z")
I Another vote, another vote, Another vote onward, All in the valley of Death Rode the 221. “Forward, the GOP! Charge for the voters!” they said. Into the valley of Death Rode the 221. II “Forward, the GOP!” Was there a person dismayed? Not though the congress person knew: Someone had blundered. Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die. Into the valley of Death Rode 221. III Dems to right of them, Dems to left of them, Dems in front of them Volleyed and voted for Jeffries; Stormed at with popcorn and selfies, Forward they rode, oh well, Into the jaws of Death, Into the mouth of hell Rode the 221. IV Flashed all their cell phones bare, Flashed as they turned in air Switching their votes here and there, Charging at a House while All the world wondered. Plunged in the cigar-smoke Right through the line they broke; Georgian and Floridian Reeled from the failed votes, Shattered and sundered. Then they rode back, but not Not the 221. … VI When can their glory fade? O the wild charge they made! All the world wondered. Laughed at the charge they made! Mock the GOP, Foolish 221! ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1434 "2023-01-06T01:50:10Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > There may have been bloody fights for leadership, but those happened behind closed doors, prior to the actual voting. As others have mentioned, what has happened is that the vaunted “Republicans fall in line” trope has been cracked – the past decade has seen the enabling and empowering of those who _do not care_ if they crash the system, and they are saying, no, I will _ **not** _ fall in line, and no, I will not use my inside voice. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1435 "2023-01-06T01:50:46Z")
This time I asked the AI to write me a parody of “C is for Cookie.” It’s a bit long, but I think quite funny. > **Summary** > > > Oh, Donald! Donald! You got to help me! > > Sure, McCarthy! What’s the problem? > > Oh, me think me got Congress Fever! > > What makes you think that? > > Me feel like becoming speaker! > > But you’re McCarthy, you always feel like being speaker > > Donald, now me feel like becoming speaker and counting votes at the same time! > > Get down! Get down! > > Me are vote counting, power hungry fool! > > Votes, yeah just sweet, sweet votes > > Yeah just sweet, sweet votes for me > > Votes (votes) all those nice, fresh votes > > Yes those sweet, sweet votes start with M > > Oh McCarthy! > > Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh counting and scheming McCarthy! > > M is for McCarthy, that’s good enough for me, yeah > > M is for McCarthy, that’s good enough for me, ay > > M is for McCarthy, that’s good enough for me, oh > > McCarthy, McCarthy, McCarthy starts with M > > Hey! Me gettin’ power hungry! > > Oh Republican votes, or Democrat votes > > Moderate votes, conservative votes > > Liberal votes, independent votes > > Blue votes, red votes, purple votes > > Yes votes, no votes, abstain votes > > Majority votes, minority votes, filibuster votes > > Compromise votes, gridlock votes, impeachment votes > > Disco McCarthy! ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1436 "2023-01-06T01:56:34Z")
So let’s game out possibilities. Scalise. Will “moderates” fall in line and accept him and the concessions given? Will the nevers accept Scalise with fewer concessions? If he gets in how long until he’s out? If it is rinse repeat with him then what? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1437 "2023-01-06T01:57:22Z")
Just what else can this poor man offer? [https://scontent-ord5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/324181799\_898284204920890\_984532877152563098\_n.png?stp=dst-png\_p960x960&\_nc\_cat=1&ccb=1-7&\_nc\_sid=730e14&\_nc\_ohc=8eYQ21mY7ysAX8n1Ukk&\_nc\_ht=scontent-ord5-1.xx&oh=00\_AfBJDj7ggKYLqX\_AcOk4FaNVYIihgpGX7X9Rc1yq2JWs5Q&oe=63BBAC22](https://scontent-ord5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/324181799_898284204920890_984532877152563098_n.png?stp=dst-png_p960x960&_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=8eYQ21mY7ysAX8n1Ukk&_nc_ht=scontent-ord5-1.xx&oh=00_AfBJDj7ggKYLqX_AcOk4FaNVYIihgpGX7X9Rc1yq2JWs5Q&oe=63BBAC22) \*Courtesy The Daily Show ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1438 "2023-01-06T02:09:26Z")
> [@MikeF](#): > > Just look across the aisle > Clowns of every style > This is going to take a while > Dems just smile. Dems just smile. You’ve got to see this vote, it’s a real clown show! You’ve got to see this vote, it’s farce and woe! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1439 "2023-01-06T02:12:22Z")
Perfection! ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-speaker-contest/974770/1440 "2023-01-06T02:23:47Z")
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