# House stenographer snaps, starts ranting about Jesus and Freemasons **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2013, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471 "2013-10-17T10:40:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/41 "2013-10-17T18:47:14Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > What I like is the guy banging the gavel over and over. Like that’ll work. “Oh, the gavel’s banging? I’ll stop being crazy now.” From Wikipedia: Demeter’s Manual notes that, in addition to an optional light tap after a vote, there are three other uses of a gavel: 1. To attract attention and call a meeting to order. In most organizations, two raps raise and one rap seats the assembly; in others, two raps raise and three raps seat it. 2. To maintain order and restore it when breached in the course of the proceedings. (Rap the gavel once, but vigorously.) 3. To be handed over to successors in office or to officiating officers as ceremonials, etc. (Always extend the holding end.) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/42 "2013-10-17T18:47:30Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > What I like is the guy banging the gavel over and over. Like that’ll work. “Oh, the gavel’s banging? I’ll stop being crazy now.” ‘No “Blah, blah, blah!” … Bonk, bonk! On the head! Bonk, bonk! Bonk, bonk! Bonk, bonk!’ ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/43 "2013-10-17T18:56:04Z")
That has to be a stressful job, just sitting there quietly listening to politicians blather on and not being able to express your own crazy opinion. Someone was bound to snap. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/44 "2013-10-17T19:00:55Z")
At least the chaplain got to tell them during his prayers what a bunch of fuckups they were being. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/45 "2013-10-17T19:02:08Z")
I assumed sleep deprivation. The House has been a pressure cooker and putting in long hours for weeks. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/46 "2013-10-17T19:11:29Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > At least the chaplain got to tell them during his prayers what a bunch of fuckups they were being. Dear Lord, we ask that you smack some sense into these fuckups, that they may see what epic level fuckups they are being. Deliver us from their weapons grade stupidity, especially that asshat over there who’s trying to claim that this clusterfuck is done by your will. Seriously, bounce some grapes of wrath off their empty noggins and make them cut this shit out. And please help the voters of this country remember what was done here in years hence, so that these fuckups won’t ever have the chance to be such incredible fuckups ever again. Amen. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/47 "2013-10-17T19:15:37Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > For a whackadoodle rant, it was cunningly well-timed. The vote to end the government shutdown probably got C-SPAN more viewers than usual. So, 5? ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/48 "2013-10-17T19:23:16Z")
The poor woman obviously has some mental health needs. Let’s hope she gets the help she seems to need so desperately. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/49 "2013-10-17T19:27:01Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > So, 5? I was gonna say “both of them”, but I couldn’t find a way to make it work. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/50 "2013-10-17T19:30:00Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Dear Lord, we ask that you smack some sense into these fuckups, that they may see what epic level fuckups they are being. Deliver us from their weapons grade stupidity, especially that asshat over there who’s trying to claim that this clusterfuck is done by your will. Seriously, bounce some grapes of wrath off their empty noggins and make them cut this shit out. And please help the voters of this country remember what was done here in years hence, so that these fuckups won’t ever have the chance to be such incredible fuckups ever again. Amen. If I was a believer, I would pray that every day Nice work \*\*hotflungwok Capt\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/51 "2013-10-17T21:19:57Z")
Stenographitis must be catching. For the last couple of days I’ve been trying to track down a stenographer/transcriptionist who “only pops into the courthouse occasionally” and “usually does not check her messages.” WTF? This isn’t filling me with confidence concerning a transcript I ordered nearly half a year ago. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/52 "2013-10-17T21:28:30Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > How are they different from the Taliban? [Ned Seagoon]: They’re spelt differently.[/Ned Seagoon]: ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/53 "2013-10-17T21:34:15Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Stenographitis must be catching. For the last couple of days I’ve been trying to track down a stenographer/transcriptionist who “only pops into the courthouse occasionally” and “usually does not check her messages.” WTF? This isn’t filling me with confidence concerning a transcript I ordered nearly half a year ago. It’s those weird-ass typewriters. They’d drive anyone insane. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/54 "2013-10-18T02:55:50Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I thought one of the requirements for becoming a Mason was a belief in a deity. That’s the real Freemasons that actually exist. The crazy-conspiracy-land Masons are a different organization. Fnord. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/55 "2013-10-18T05:53:39Z")
A friend of mine worked with this woman until the end of last year. We were talking about this today. She says Diane was a really great co-worker, really nice person. Never any sign of instability when they worked together. One of the few really good ones there. She was really stunned to hear about the incident. She did say that Diane is getting some help. The job is incredibly stressful. So much so that when I visited my friend last year she looked so different and had changed so much. It was visible just looking at her. The hours are horrible and the stress is incredibly overwhelming. My friend finally had enough and quit. Moved away and her life has changed so much for the better. Thankfully she had the luxury of being able to do that. Not everyone can. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/56 "2013-10-19T06:29:16Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > The poor woman obviously has some mental health needs. Let’s hope she gets the help she seems to need so desperately. Doesn’t look like that’s gonna happen: > [@](#): > > Her husband has said that he is proud of his ‘level-headed’ wife > > She plans to return to work on Tuesday To repeat: her husband is proud of his “level-headed” wife. He interpreted getting up in the middle of the night from stress as a message from God. “What she was finding out was that God was impressing on her heart that He had a message He wanted her to share with the House of Representatives.” _(“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was…incoherent.”)_ As long as she’s married to that jackass, she doesn’t stand a chance. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/57 "2013-10-19T10:17:43Z")
The article I read mentioned that she was going back to work next week, that is going to be akward for everyone involved. The good news for her is that she now has a built in leave work early escape hatch. Around 3pm on Friday afternoon start yelling about freemasons, get esccorted out by security and beat the rush hour traffic. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/58 "2013-10-19T12:55:11Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > The House is so full of crazies I’m surprised anyone noticed one more. One goes to the zoo to observe the amusing animals. Something’s wrong when the employees charged with supplying libations and emptying chamber pots begin acting like the inmates. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/59 "2013-10-19T13:37:13Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Dear Lord, we ask that you smack some sense into these fuckups, that they may see what epic level fuckups they are being. Deliver us from their weapons grade stupidity, especially that asshat over there who’s trying to claim that this clusterfuck is done by your will. Seriously, bounce some grapes of wrath off their empty noggins and make them cut this shit out. And please help the voters of this country remember what was done here in years hence, so that these fuckups won’t ever have the chance to be such incredible fuckups ever again. Amen. This is beautiful. Can we borrow it for Ireland, too? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471/60 "2013-10-19T14:55:51Z")
My error, by the way - it was the **Senate** chaplain, not the House chaplain, who was doing the shaming prayers. One notable prayer pre-shutdown involved the phrase “[Lord, deliver us from governing by crisis](http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2013/09/27/senate-chaplain-lord-deliver-us-from-governing-by-crisis/),” and his scolding became popular enough to [inspire a bit on Saturday Night Live](http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/on-leadership/wp/2013/10/14/a-bully-pulpit-for-the-senate-chaplain/). Even the verbiage in the SNL skit didn’t measure up to **hotflungwok** ’s inspired take, though I suspect FCC broadcast regulations are in part responsible for that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/house-stenographer-snaps-starts-ranting-about-jesus-and-freemasons/671471.md?page=4)