# Housemate does not wash hands after using bathroom. How do I ask him to start? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 7, 2012, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063 "2012-04-07T04:41:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sevencl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sevencl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevencl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/41 "2013-01-13T17:20:14Z")
Every time I start to feel like I’m bored of living alone after five years, I come across something like this. Thanks, SDMB! I can’t believe non-hand-washing is even a thing. Isn’t that the kind of thing that parents condition into children before they can even talk? ---
**Author:** ![algiersbuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47774/32.png) [@algiersbuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/algiersbuck)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/42 "2013-01-13T17:23:04Z")
That’s what I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/43 "2013-01-14T20:55:59Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > My husband tried that line once. Once. I shot back, yeah, but you were just handling your private parts, weren’t you? Would it bother you if I stuck my hands down my pants like this \ and then served your dinner? Did it bother him? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/44 "2013-01-14T21:13:58Z")
The point is not, “I didn’t touch anything and didn’t pee on my hands anyway.” The point is that as Cecil says, you’re in there anyway, so you may as well go ahead and wash your hands with soap and hot water. Even if you just went in to, I don’t know, blow your nose. All day long your hands come in contact with lots of things. Just because YOU are clean doesn’t mean that everyone else is. So you are shaking hands or whatever with all these people that have colds, or don’t wash their hands, or are sick…and the only person whom you can control is you. So. Every time I go to the bathroom, yes, it’s hot water and soap. It really seems to avoid colds. It keeps your hands clean and ungross. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/45 "2013-01-15T00:55:45Z")
Wow, I hope this board just attracts an above-average proportion of psychos. It’s called “personal hygiene” for a reason. What other people do in the bathroom is NONE of your business, unless those people are your charges. Even aside from the fact that you are creepily overinvolved with an otherwise-competent adult’s toilet habits, you are definitely running a high risk of retaliation in the form of the contamination of your utensils and toothbrush. And do you people really get fecal matter on your hands when you wipe your butts? There’s this awesome new product called toilet paper to prevent just that. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/46 "2013-01-15T01:06:53Z")
Quote: Originally Posted by MLS My husband tried that line once. Once. I shot back, yeah, but you were just handling your private parts, weren’t you? Would it bother you if I stuck my hands down my pants like this \ and then served your dinner? > [@Dogzilla](#): > > Did it bother him? Yeah, actually it did. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/47 "2013-01-15T01:09:48Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Wow, I hope this board just attracts an above-average proportion of psychos. > …snip… > And do you people really get fecal matter on your hands when you wipe your butts? There’s this awesome new product called toilet paper to prevent just that. Actually, a layer or so of TP is not enough to keep the nasties off your hands. And does it actually hurt anyone to use some soap and water just in case? Most people outgrow the fear of handwashing some time after the age of 12. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/48 "2013-01-15T01:14:59Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > It’s called “personal hygiene” for a reason. If that were true, no one would ever get sick because of touching something someone else touched. Not that it’s the right thing to do for the OP to confront over this for reasons already mentioned, but I can understand being squicked out. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/49 "2013-01-15T01:17:40Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > Actually, a layer or so of TP is not enough to keep the nasties off your hands. And does it actually hurt anyone to use some soap and water just in case? Most people outgrow the fear of handwashing some time after the age of 12. Who’s restricting you to two layers? The point is not whether using soap and water is harmful, but rather that paying attention to what others do in the bathroom and attempting to control it is disturbing and rude. The idea that your living environment is being jeopardized by this assault on its sterility is ridiculous anyway, and a symptom of pathological neurosis. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/50 "2013-01-15T01:19:53Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > If that were true, no one would ever get sick because of touching something someone else touched. > > Not that it’s the right thing to do for the OP to confront over this for reasons already mentioned, but I can understand being squicked out. If you get sick from touching something someone else touched, it is likely because you did not wash your own hands before touching your eyes, nose, or mouth. Your hands are not a likely entry port for germs. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/51 "2013-01-15T08:07:20Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Who’s restricting you to two layers? > The point is not whether using soap and water is harmful, but rather that paying attention to what others do in the bathroom and attempting to control it is disturbing and rude. The idea that your living environment is being jeopardized by this assault on its sterility is ridiculous anyway, and a symptom of pathological neurosis. Did you miss the part about “housemate”? What a housemate does WILL affect you, for the most part. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/52 "2013-01-15T08:29:08Z")
Snicker. I’ve eaten fresh goat cheese given to me sliced from the hands of a Afghan merchant in an Afghan bazaar. I have an immune system, and I’m not afraid to use it. You’ll be fine, buttercup. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/53 "2013-01-15T14:16:46Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > If you get sick from touching something someone else touched, it is likely because you did not wash your own hands before touching your eyes, nose, or mouth. Your hands are not a likely entry port for germs. The point, as I said, is not to wash your hands even though you didn’t wipe your butt. It’s to wash them anyway because you are already in there. Your hands may not have open sores but your hands do everything and get all kinds of stuff on them, and then you rub your eye, or your mouth. And in the winter, everyone’s sick, so I am washing my hands constantly. I continue to remain healthy around sick people so I am sure it’s doing something. Lucretia: I mean, I’ve drank water in India. Certainly I have an immune system. That doesn’t mean I should just amble along my life blithely. Do I care if other people wash their hands? Not really, but I am trying to say, there really is a lifestyle benefit in it for the handwasher, not just everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/54 "2013-01-15T17:23:47Z")
> [@F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](#): > > Sorry buddy, but [the master disagrees](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1043/why-are-men-supposed-to-wash-their-hands-after-urination). There are bacteria that live on your private parts no matter what, and you always need to wash your hands after touching them. Let’s review what the Master said. • what you could possibly get on your hands, bacteria-wise, from peeing, is coliform bacteria that tends to live in your pores — the pores of all your skin over a pretty wide expanse of body-area • it gets on your hand from any casual contact with any of the skin from any of that expanse of body-area Hence it has nothing to do with “private parts” per se. Or going to the bathroom per se. Not washing your hands after you pee is roughly on par with not washing your hands after you touch your belly button while changing t-shirts. Judging from a lifetime’s experience of observing people’s post-coital behaviors, only a small percentage of people always and inevitably shower between having sex and coming into casual physical contact with other people. When they do, it’s most likely prompted by concern about sex smells and sweat, not any sense of being unclean and a source of potential infection for other folks. I’ve been to play parties and orgies and whatnot and folks aren’t washing their hands. Seriously, the “wash your hands after you go to the bathroom” thing when extended to peeing is 95% social cultural and only 5% bacterially cultural. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/55 "2013-01-16T16:10:52Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Did you miss the part about “housemate”? What a housemate does WILL affect you, for the most part. I didn’t say there is any guarantee it won’t affect you. Do you think a person should get to control everything that affects them? If you want to assume every surface is contaminated and alter your OWN behavior accordingly, have at it, but the fact that someone is your housemate does not mean you get to exert control over that person’s actions in the bathroom. The attempt to do so is likely to inspire retaliatory behavior, so is inadvisable even from only a selfish and practical standpoint. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/56 "2013-01-16T16:20:43Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > The point, as I said, is not to wash your hands even though you didn’t wipe your butt. It’s to wash them anyway because you are already in there. > > Your hands may not have open sores but your hands do everything and get all kinds of stuff on them, and then you rub your eye, or your mouth. I would never argue that one should NOT wash one’s hands after using the bathroom, but I believe that is a decision that is up to the individual. Whether to wash your hands before touching your eyes or mouth is also up to you, but modify your own behavior. If it is important to you to live in a sterile environment, having housemates is impractical. Try a one-person bubble. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/57 "2013-01-16T16:58:33Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > I would never argue that one should NOT wash one’s hands after using the bathroom, but I believe that is a decision that is up to the individual. > Whether to wash your hands before touching your eyes or mouth is also up to you, but modify your own behavior. If it is important to you to live in a sterile environment, having housemates is impractical. Try a one-person bubble. No, I don’t like housemates in general. I live with my partner, and I love him, so I am more flexible there. But actually, my whole point is the same as yours: you can only modify your own behavior. Ergo, wash your hands so YOU don’t get sick. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/58 "2013-01-21T00:25:05Z")
It is not squicky to notice that someone doesn’t wash their hands. If you don’t notice that, you have a problem with observation skills. It’s something you will notice if you’re living with someone, just like many other things that it would be creepy to notice otherwise. People often make comments about me having little experience with real life, but I honestly say the same of some of you. There was nearly no chance that the OP was going to create a retaliation like you envisioned. Yeah, you in your fantasies might react that way, but, even in real life, you wouldn’t. Even if you weren’t a good person, you’d know it would get you kicked out. Adults who live together can usually make requests of one another without them getting all bent out of shape about it. Sure, occasionally you room with an overgrown child, but it’s nowhere near as common as you make it seem. Especially when you get to choose your roommates. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/59 "2013-01-21T01:55:07Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > It is not squicky to notice that someone doesn’t wash their hands. If you don’t notice that, you have a problem with observation skills. It’s something you will notice if you’re living with someone, just like many other things that it would be creepy to notice otherwise. > > People often make comments about me having little experience with real life, but I honestly say the same of some of you. There was nearly no chance that the OP was going to create a retaliation like you envisioned. Yeah, you in your fantasies might react that way, but, even in real life, you wouldn’t. Even if you weren’t a good person, you’d know it would get you kicked out. > > Adults who live together can usually make requests of one another without them getting all bent out of shape about it. Sure, occasionally you room with an overgrown child, but it’s nowhere near as common as you make it seem. Especially when you get to choose your roommates. No, the problem is that your “observation” is of someone in the bathroom. Just as you would not (I hope) feel that it would be acceptable to peep into the bathroom while someone is using it, it is also not acceptable to listen. When someone is in the bathroom, there is an expectation of privacy, or the illusion thereof. That is to say, your inadvertent observations are to be kept to yourself, out of respect for the other person’s privacy and out of your own good manners. I wish my observations of others did not suggest the high likelihood of covert revenge, but I have seen it often. My fellow short-order cooks at my first job did things to the food you don’t want to know about. Even something as trivial as sending an incorrectly made item back was likely to inspire deplorable actions, and this was no fantasy. Certainly I would not participate in that kind of behavior, but if you think people that do are rare, you’re kidding yourself. A person has to be CAUGHT to get kicked out. You’re not going to notice that someone has dipped your toothbrush in the toilet, for example. There’s a whole episode of Seinfeld about it. Some things are not okay to request of people. The problemed person is the germophobic control freak who listens in on people in the bathroom and seeks to modify their personal hygiene. I’m sure no one asks for these issues, but the person who has them should do their best to keep them to themselves. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063/60 "2013-01-21T02:46:34Z")
That is just freaking sick. Does he not was before eating as well? Man, someone needs to teach him some manners. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/housemate-does-not-wash-hands-after-using-bathroom-how-do-i-ask-him-to-start/618063.md?page=4)