# How am I still married to this woman? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 8, 2020, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261 "2020-06-08T19:02:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/21 "2020-06-09T00:24:00Z")
Perfect birthday or Christmas gift for her: a music player (iPod, tablet, whatever) and a set of compatible noise-cancelling headphones. She can listen to whatever the hell junk she wants, you can listen to good music in the car, and you’ll still be together for the sake of the kids! Bonus: with this arrangement, it’s impossible to get into an argument – she can’t hear you, and if Springsteen is cranked up loud enough, you can’t hear her either! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![PackerMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@PackerMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PackerMan)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/22 "2020-06-09T01:58:44Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Perfect birthday or Christmas gift for her: a music player (iPod, tablet, whatever) and a set of compatible noise-cancelling headphones. She can listen to whatever the hell junk she wants, you can listen to good music in the car, and you’ll still be together for the sake of the kids! Bonus: with this arrangement, it’s impossible to get into an argument – she can’t hear you, and if Springsteen is cranked up loud enough, you can’t hear her either! 🙂 I wish it was that easy. It’s “her” car. I drive a company car. Whenever we drive together y let her drive unless she asks me to. Noise canceling headphones would not be good. Although she’s Mexican American you would never know it. She is fluent in Spanish but has zero accent in English. She’s actually lighter skinned than me and and not dark complexioned. Her name was screwed up in the hospital when she was born and sounds more Italian than anything. I’ve brought her a long way over the years but the struggle continues. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/23 "2020-06-09T02:12:51Z")
I won’t rip on Springsteen, he writes good songs. But what the hell is up with his band and album orchestrations sounding like glockenspiel concerts? Those bells make me stabby, hate them so much, and on arguably good tunes. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/24 "2020-06-09T11:17:29Z")
My wife listens to I guess what would be called current pop music (Sirius Satellite Radio: The Pulse). It is the default setting in her car. I have a pre set for that in my car just for her. Mostly, I am not a big fan but it is not intolerable for me. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/25 "2020-06-09T11:29:26Z")
Having the same tastes, including musical tastes, is overrated. As long as your tastes don’t inflict pain on your spouse, it’s all good. Having the same moral and cultural values is way way more important. My husband and I share very little in terms of tastes, except we both like it quiet. That’s good. Neither of us listen to popular music at all. We have managed all right. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/26 "2020-06-09T13:20:38Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Hey, even Dylan said that Hendrix’s cover of **All along the watchtower** blew him away. > > Personally I prefer Dylan’s original versions over just about any cover. Particularly with **Mr. Tambourine Man** and **Quinn the Eskimo**. And I love Dylan’s version of **Watchtower**. But damn, IMHO, Hendrix **OWNS** that puppy. > > Also, TILT: It’s _Adam_ And, not Atom Ant. :smack: Just to make it confusing and fair, there was an Adam and The Ants as well. After nearly 20 years of forced countrification I am finally free to listen to Metallica, Slayer, Heilung, when where and however loud I want. And explore and discover new singers and groups like Ivy Levan or Sam and The Womp for a couple of examples. I didn’t realize… Never give up of hide your music You gotta fight, for your right… ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/27 "2020-06-09T13:43:45Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I don’t know them either. Not everyone’s been on the same planet since 1980, or listened to the same radio stations. > [@Colibri](#): > > I’ve heard _Keepin’ the Faith_, but am not a great Billy Joel fan. I know the name Adam Ant, but couldn’t tell you a single one of his songs, and am also utterly unfamiliar with Goody Two Shoes. My excuse is that in the early 1980s. I was living most of the time on a small remote off the coast of New Zealand.😉 See, now that’s a good excuse! Really, the thing is that my husband’s seventeen years older than me. We both lived in the same country and the same state during the eighties, but worlds apart. I forget that sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/28 "2020-06-09T14:15:16Z")
Although I’ve heard the three songs being discussed and was alive during their airplay, I didn’t hear them until the 90s or maybe the 2000s with the exception of Keepin’ The Faith which I still have not heard on the radio and only heard it because my brother had the album. Obligatory [XKCD](https://xkcd.com/1053/). ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/29 "2020-06-09T14:27:55Z")
> [@DorkVader](#): > > Just to make it confusing and fair, there was an Adam and The Ants as well. Yes, though that was Adam Ant’s band before he dissolved the band and became a solo act, so it’s not unrelated. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/30 "2020-06-09T14:34:34Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Sounds like a generational difference, whether age-related or age/culture related. What was the difference in your ages? Nearly zero. She’s about a year older. The most adventurous she ever got in all those years was Abba. Long car trips were an agony of The Statler Brothers, Roger fucking Whittaker, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/31 "2020-06-09T14:59:14Z")
I feel your pain, man. Family first. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/32 "2020-06-09T15:00:09Z")
My wife went with me to see Aerosmith. I then went with her to see Elton John. I will never take her to a concert again if I have to go to a concert with her. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/33 "2020-06-09T15:24:07Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Although I’ve heard the three songs being discussed and was alive during their airplay, I didn’t hear them until the 90s or maybe the 2000s with the exception of Keepin’ The Faith which I still have not heard on the radio and only heard it because my brother had the album. > > Obligatory [XKCD](https://xkcd.com/1053/). I like that XKCD! Not a music revelation, but a while back I finally got around to reading _Of Mice and Men_, and told the SDMB how much I loved it. Someone replied back that they were jealous of my first reading of that particular book. So I will attempt not to make fun of people, and try to turn them on to whatever it is they don’t know, like the Coke and Mentos example. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/34 "2020-06-09T15:52:22Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Seems like a pretty good reason not to know Springsteen. > > I’ve heard _Keepin’ the Faith_, but am not a great Billy Joel fan. I know the name Adam Ant, but couldn’t tell you a single one of his songs, and am also utterly unfamiliar with Goody Two Shoes. My excuse is that in the early 1980s. I was living most of the time on a small remote off the coast of New Zealand.😉 were there kakapos? please, tell me there were kakapos! once mtv and vh1 stopped showing videos, i have no idea what is out there. my favourite music station changed formats, so i mostly listen to classical, or folk. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/35 "2020-06-09T15:54:14Z")
We are dancing around the real reason:. Inertia. Lotsa stuff becomes explicit when you factor in the pain in the assishness of the alternatives. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/36 "2020-06-09T17:04:25Z")
PackerMan, you say that your wife doesn’t recognize a (fairly common) musical reference like “Born to Run” or a (fairly common) literary reference like Jekyll and Hyde. Presumably you’ve known about this for all 22 years of your marriage. Why are you only worrying about it now? Presumably you’ve been able to make your marriage work reasonably well up to now, since only about half of all marriages (in the U.S.) last that long. For that matter, how did you two happen to get married or even date for a reasonably long amount of time without having a lot of interests in common? How did you two meet? How did you decide to get married? ---
**Author:** ![PackerMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@PackerMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PackerMan)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/37 "2020-06-09T20:01:53Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > PackerMan, you say that your wife doesn’t recognize a (fairly common) musical reference like “Born to Run” or a (fairly common) literary reference like Jekyll and Hyde. Presumably you’ve known about this for all 22 years of your marriage. Why are you only worrying about it now? Presumably you’ve been able to make your marriage work reasonably well up to now, since only about half of all marriages (in the U.S.) last that long. For that matter, how did you two happen to get married or even date for a reasonably long amount of time without having a lot of interests in common? How did you two meet? How did you decide to get married? First of all, this entire thread was intended to be humorous, which most of you got. It’s the kind of funny story I would joke about with my buddies at the bar, if that were possible, and wanted to share it with someone. Second of all, I do love my wife and we do have a lot in common. She is caring, kind to a fault and a great mother. We enjoy spending time together but each also have our own interests. Honestly, if she had just said I don’t like that song, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Her response just surprised me and I guess, on reflection, made me remember how different our life experiences were before we got together. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/38 "2020-06-09T20:55:46Z")
> [@rocking\_chair](#): > > were there kakapos? please, tell me there were kakapos! Yes, there were in fact [Kakapos.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhTU__jVP8E) I was involved in the first transfers between Stewart Island and Little Barrier Island where I worked. I got to handle about 10% of the known world population at that time (only 50 birds in all). (I also heard them on Stewart Island and Fiordland, but didn’t see any there.) Definitely worth missing out on the career of Adam Ant.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2020, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/39 "2020-06-09T21:22:12Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > The spirit of Jimi Hendrix takes a large, odiferous dump on your computer keyboard. > > While there is a sizable overlap of my and Mrs. J.'s pop/rock tastes, there’s also a vast and sometimes disturbing realm of her likes that I can’t get into, including folk and Xmas tunes. We both generally enjoy Underground Garage on Sirius however. Yes, I figured someone would come up with the ONE exception that proves the rule. I thought of Jimi’s “All along the WatchTower” cover, but I like Dylan’s version as well. Dylan wrote hundreds of songs and only one can be pointed to that some say the cover version may be better. And its not that Hendrix just sung the song better, he put a completely different spin on the music. His cover is much more than just a better vocal. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2020, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261/40 "2020-06-10T06:14:28Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Yes, though that was Adam Ant’s band before he dissolved the band and became a solo act, so it’s not unrelated. Black Flag kills ants on contact (just to see if anyone gets the reference) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-am-i-still-married-to-this-woman/855261.md?page=3)