# How and where would you hide a body? (Don't need answer fast) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517 "2010-07-04T14:55:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/1 "2010-07-04T14:55:06Z")
I often drift off to sleep thinking about weird hypotheticals, and **Attackmum** raised me on a diet of murder mysteries. Plus, we had that fleet of feet washing up in Vancouver last year. So I occasionally find myself thinking about how to get rid of a corpse. If you had a body on your hands, and you weren’t in a particular rush, how would you get rid of it, and cover your tracks? Lets say it’s a Dexter-type situation, not a messy crime of passion, - you’ve been tidy, but there is still 150-200 lbs of physical evidence to make unfindable. No rush, really. I’m cool, and I’m definitely not asking for legal advice. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/2 "2010-07-04T15:02:59Z")
I’d buy two bottles of relish and start chopping wood. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/3 "2010-07-04T15:04:26Z")
Cut the body into pieces, put each in a large size ziplok bag, wrap in brown paper, and drop each piece at night onto passing trains from an overpass- changing overpasses as much as possible. There is murder in Marguerite Duras’s L’Amante anglaise that partially uses the above technique. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/4 "2010-07-04T15:11:43Z")
I’ve always said if I needed to get rid of a body I would just put it in my garbage bin. We have the garbage trucks that are outfitted with a claw that grabs the bin and flips it into the top of an open truck. The garbage collector never sees what’s in it or even gets out of the truck. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/5 "2010-07-04T15:19:41Z")
What’s wrong with the good old fashioned hole in the ground? ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/6 "2010-07-04T15:19:52Z")
Dexter’s technique is good, if only he’d gone a little farther away from shore–drop the bodies into water too deep for SCUBA equipment, stupid. He is shown as having a depth-meter thingie on his boat, so why drop them in shallow water? And why all the same spot? Hu? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/7 "2010-07-04T15:23:49Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > I’d buy two bottles of relish and start chopping wood. You’re going to serve it up at the 4th of July picnic? > [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > Cut the body into pieces, put each in a large size ziplok bag, wrap in brown paper, and drop each piece at night onto passing trains from an overpass- changing overpasses as much as possible. > There is murder in Marguerite Duras’s L’Amante anglaise that partially uses the above technique. It would seem that eventually at least your town will be determined, unless you’re driving from town to town with the parcels. I like it, but I’m a little concerned that they’re going to triangulate on me. Plus, am I making it federal, or even international by having the bits zoom off across the continent? > [@Joey\_P](#): > > I’ve always said if I needed to get rid of a body I would just put it in my garbage bin. We have the garbage trucks that are outfitted with a claw that grabs the bin and flips it into the top of an open truck. The garbage collector never sees what’s in it or even gets out of the truck. This has simplicity on it’s side. Are you going to chop things up, or go with the body-sized glad bag? Do they see much at the dump? The dump I’ve most recently visited is an open field of garbage, being molested by gulls and pushed around with tractors. I’d fear that a ripped open bag would be noticed all too soon. ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/8 "2010-07-04T15:25:36Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I’ve always said if I needed to get rid of a body I would just put it in my garbage bin. We have the garbage trucks that are outfitted with a claw that grabs the bin and flips it into the top of an open truck. The garbage collector never sees what’s in it or even gets out of the truck. This always seemed to make the most sense to me. How would they every know which house the body came from? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/9 "2010-07-04T15:36:34Z")
Stick it in a recently filled grave in a cemetery. A Catholic cemetery, since for-profit cemeteries are eventually soled for development disintured, while Catholic cemeteries are maintaned in perpetuity. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/10 "2010-07-04T15:36:48Z")
If want to be clean, then do some landscaping. Rent an auger truck and have it drill some nice 8 ft holes for your new trees, dump your corpse in the ground knees to chest at the bottom, and plant a tree on top. The hole is only about 2/ft in diameter and so deep that no one would ever find it. or Feed the body into a woodchipper into a good swift river, then spray it out, feed a bunch of brush through it and clean it again. and for og’s sake burn the clothes! don’t leave little fibers everywhere! ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/11 "2010-07-04T15:37:55Z")
> [@heraldgwena](#): > > This always seemed to make the most sense to me. How would they every know which house the body came from? The problem is that if it’s found quickly, they know the route. and that’s a small enough area to search. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/12 "2010-07-04T15:45:13Z")
To start they would probably look at where the person lived when they find the body. Once they know that most people are killed by someone they know so that’s where the cops start looking. Unlike TV or movies getting killed by a complete stranger is rare. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/13 "2010-07-04T15:47:30Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > The problem is that if it’s found quickly, they know the route. and that’s a small enough area to search. Let me slightly rephrase it then…put it in someone else’s garbage bin. Preferably someone who has their garbage emptied on a different day, maybe even go to a different city/county/state. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/14 "2010-07-04T15:51:06Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > Feed the body into a woodchipper into a good swift river, then spray it out, feed a bunch of brush through it and clean it again. and for og’s sake burn the clothes! don’t leave little fibers everywhere! That[didn’t work out for the last guy who tried it](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helle_Crafts). Didn’t work out for his wife either. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/15 "2010-07-04T16:22:27Z")
I put it under a pile of crap in my rackety old barn. Then I’d hire someone to bulldoze the barn and burn it on top of the body. And hey! I’d have a good reason to build a nice new barn. 5 stalls, a tack room and maybe an indoor arena. This is making murder sound better and better. StG ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/16 "2010-07-04T16:31:34Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Stick it in a recently filled grave in a cemetery. A Catholic cemetery, since for-profit cemeteries are eventually soled for development disintured, while Catholic cemeteries are maintaned in perpetuity. The cops actually suspected this M.O. during an investigation into the murder of Susan Reinart and disappearance of her two children in 1979 (memorialized in the book _Echoes In The Darkness_). They dug up a coffin to check on whether a murder victim had been planted underneath it just before the burial (it hadn’t). If you “weren’t in a particular rush” (and preferably lived alone) you could stow the corpus delicti in a large-sized freezer, waiting for the opportune time to dispose of it. A good forensic autopsy would however reveal ice crystal damage in the thawed corpse so authorities would know the death wasn’t recent. ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/17 "2010-07-04T16:31:45Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > The problem is that if it’s found quickly, they know the route. and that’s a small enough area to search. I guess that’s true, assuming they found it before the truck dumped it. How many houses are on a route? Or maybe you could drive to another town and put it in another persons can on trash night (at like 3 am so they are unlikely to find it before the truck picks it up). ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/18 "2010-07-04T16:33:32Z")
I work around large multi-thousand gallon tanks of caustic soda and 94% sulfuric acid ;). ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/19 "2010-07-04T16:34:41Z")
Any method that involves me driving around with a body in the car is going to be little lower on the list. Unless I get to use the HOV lane. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/20 "2010-07-04T16:41:14Z")
ON our farm we had an old cellar hole into which we would pitch wood waste etc. Once ever couple of years, we would burn it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517.md?page=2)