# How and where would you hide a body? (Don't need answer fast) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517 "2010-07-04T14:55:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/81 "2010-07-06T10:45:26Z")
My memory is acting up but it might have been (mutha-fuckin’) Charlie Bronson in The Mechanic who disposes of a body quite neatly. IIRC he breaks into a body shop on a Friday evening and deposits the corpse into a vat of some type of acid. No one will be back until Monday morning so that leaves enough time for the acid to do its work. I always wondered whether or not vats of acid are that easy to come by. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/82 "2010-07-06T11:32:39Z")
> [@In\_Winnipeg](#): > > There’s enough bush up north, some of it only accessible with ice roads for a couple of months in the wintertime, and of course, it’s full of bears and scavenger birds… > > Failing that, my father-in-law knows of some places where there is quicksand. I was listening to a podcast the other day which suggested that a body couldn’t sink in quicksand due to its density - would this be right? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/83 "2010-07-06T13:58:39Z")
Tough problem; the thing is you have to get it right the first time. How much chain to make a body sink? How much gasoline to make it burn? Get it wrong and you are screwed. So using heavy equipment at the office is the best choice, go with what you know. But what of us who work in a cubicle? I do not see destruction as an option. This leaves us with hiding it. Hiding it has the same problems. If you are a suspect, they will look at areas you are familiar with. That leaves out the old well at Granddad’s place. (Right on top of the bones of Jimmy and that pesky dog.) That leaves dumping into water as a good option to those of you who have water and a boat. I would rely on massive incompetence from the local police. Dump the body in the desert and leave Saudi Arabia forever. No extradition treaty you know. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/84 "2010-07-06T14:01:40Z")
If you can’t find a place to hide a body in Norway, you’re not really trying. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/85 "2010-07-06T14:06:58Z")
Been there, done that, one of the most scenic countries I’ve ever disposed of a body in… oo-er, I mean, I bet it would be, based on travel brochures I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/86 "2010-07-06T14:25:03Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > If you can’t find a place to hide a body in Norway, you’re not really trying. This deserves to be your new sig line. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/87 "2010-07-06T15:09:01Z")
Would human DNA be identifiable in pig manure? I’m thinking run through a stolen or bought out of state years ago woodchipper and fed to pigs. Gotta clean the woodchipper really well, though. Hiding a woodchipper may be harder than hiding a body. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/88 "2010-07-06T16:12:31Z")
Stuff body into plastic lined box. Buy a fishing boat and go out to sea. Open box and soak body in chum for a few hours. Put on meat hook and troll for sharks. Let sharks finish job. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/89 "2010-07-06T16:50:52Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Would human DNA be identifiable in pig manure? I’m thinking run through a stolen or bought out of state years ago woodchipper and fed to pigs. > Gotta clean the woodchipper really well, though. Hiding a woodchipper may be harder than hiding a body. They found DNA at the Pickton Pig Farm (the things you learn in Vancouver) but there were remains scattered in the pen as well as I recall. They sometimes[test bear scat for DNA](http://www.summitpost.org/article/470437/from-thrills-to-spills-accidents-in-glacier-national-park.html) > [@](#): > > Investigators focused on a sow grizzly which had been nicknamed “Chocolate Legs” and on her two-year-old twin young. Bear scat collected at the scene was matched to these bears by DNA testing. Human DNA was identified in the bear scat samples as well. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/90 "2010-07-06T16:52:33Z")
> [@T.Slothrop](#): > > I guess I would be “AttackBro2” Since I am Attack from the Third Dimension’s older brother and I have another brother older than myself. And very suspisiously _we have the exact same mother._ There’s another story about a distant relative of yours [Thread=569683] in this thread [/Thread] ---
**Author:** ![Gray\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/91 "2010-07-06T17:21:00Z")
Just wanted to pass along [this](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,429746,00.html) very Texan method of [body disposal](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Tynesha_Stewart). I can’t find the quote, but I remember my favorite part of the whole story was when his neighbor asked what the killer was cooking, because it smelled so good, and whether the neighbor could get some… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/92 "2010-07-06T17:57:23Z")
> [@Gray\_Ghost](#): > > Just wanted to pass along [this](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,429746,00.html) very Texan method of [body disposal](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Tynesha_Stewart). It doesn’t seem to work very well. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/93 "2010-07-06T19:27:11Z")
I’d weight 'em down and toss them in [here…](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkeley_Pit) ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/94 "2010-07-08T07:05:59Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > There’s another story about a distant relative of yours [Thread=569683] in this thread [/Thread] Actually, I didn’t remember Dicky doing that but it is the kind of thing that he would do. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517/95 "2010-07-08T08:32:23Z")
> [@T.Slothrop](#): > > Actually, I didn’t remember Dicky doing that but it is the kind of thing that he would do. [del]Ax[/del] Ask your sister [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-and-where-would-you-hide-a-body-dont-need-answer-fast/545517.md?page=4)