# How are men supposed to apply sunscreen at nude beaches without, you know **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 10, 2024, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688 "2024-06-10T01:25:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/41 "2024-06-10T16:39:00Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > These were adult beaches (by common agreement, no regulations) not family nude beaches, if there are such things. There certainly are in Europe. A walk along the Corniche in Marseilles or in some public parks in Germany is an education in the prudery of Americans. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/42 "2024-06-10T16:42:02Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > One of those “Questions you always wondered but were afraid to ask” > > But how is a man supposed to apply sun screen to his penis without getting an erection? I I don’t think I’ve ever really had this issue since I was maybe a teenager. Certainly, nearing 50, I have no issue keeping him down if I want him down. Unless I’m thinking naughty thoughts or someone I desire is touching it, it’d be no different than rubbing lotion on my arms. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/43 "2024-06-10T16:42:45Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > how is a man supposed to apply sun screen to his penis without getting an erection? I believe you must be unique. Most men don’t get erections from just touching their penis. > [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > there’s a great future in porn for anyone who can get erect by a mere touch to their dangling software. > [@Mops](#): > > you apply sunscreen to your penis without getting an erection the same way you apply soap to your penis in the shower without getting an erection > [@kenobi\_65](#): > > it is entirely possible to touch, even to apply something to, it, without generating that sort of physiological response. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/44 "2024-06-10T16:45:43Z")
> [@ZonexandScout](#): > > The few European nude beaches I’ve been to were sure-fire erection-killers for later romance with my wife. “Oh, the horrors!” 🤨 Surely there’s some way of expressing the idea “I don’t worry about erection embarrassment at nude beaches because I’m not sexually attracted to most of the people I see there” without body-shaming other nude-beach users, to the extent of calling them “horrors”. Revolutionary as the idea may seem, people are entitled to be publicly nude while not conventionally attractive, in places where public nudity is permitted. Strangers on a public beach don’t have some kind of duty to facilitate your arousal response during marital sex by providing you with visual memories that you find erotically appealing. If the visual memory of seeing unattractive people naked interferes with your sexual functioning in your private life, that’s your problem, not theirs, and they shouldn’t be mocked or shamed for it. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/45 "2024-06-10T16:48:14Z")
Yeah, this may come as news to the OP and some of the lady posters here, but men do not walk around with a chub, nor do we go “schwing” every time something touches our equipment, or when we see an attractive person. We’d never get anything done if that were the case. Believe it or not, it does take some effort and focus to get things in order for, uh, proper action - it is not usually accomplished via casual interaction. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/46 "2024-06-10T18:09:55Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > > [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > > > These were adult beaches (by common agreement, no regulations) not family nude beaches, if there are such things. > > There certainly are in Europe. A walk along the Corniche in Marseilles or in some public parks in Germany is an education in the prudery of Americans. The nude beach i wandered into on Martha’s vineyard is a family beach. Most of the people there were old, but i saw a mother encouraging her young daughter to swim, both of them unclothed. And i had my young kids with me, and no one looked at them funny. The nudity on the beach wasn’t about sex. I’m sure various participants had various reasons, but i didn’t see anyone who looked like they were gawking, making out, or otherwise treating the beach as a sexy place. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/47 "2024-06-10T18:09:56Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > …everyone including me ignored it and it went away on its own. I can just imagine the poor lonely little guy tryin’ to catch a lift back to town. 😆 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/48 "2024-06-10T18:31:26Z")
We were on a beach (Isle Pinel) on the French side of St Martin. I was under the shade of our umbrella, while my gf had shed her top and was in the sun toasting. Two American couples (loud, obnoxious) were next to us. The men were trying to convince their wives to take off their tops, since they were on vacation and nobody knew them. The one guy waved his hand toward my gf and said, “relax like these French babes”. My gf replied, “French? We’re from fucking Pittsburgh, you don’t get less French than Pittsburgh”. They became embarrassed Americans (less loud and obnoxious). ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/49 "2024-06-10T20:10:06Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > My gf replied, “French? We’re from fucking Pittsburgh, you don’t get less French than Pittsburgh”. I think I just fell in love with your gf! I was only on a nude beach in the SF Bay Area once. I think it was on the SF side, but I was staying with friends in Marin, so it could have been either. No big deal at all. I’ve also been several times to the hot springs in Saline Valley (between Owens and Death Valleys). Everybody is naked almost all the time, and after a surprisingly short time you don’t even notice it at all. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/50 "2024-06-10T20:15:31Z")
The idiot I was traveling with in Marseilles was taking pictures of the nude women. It was NOT appreciated by them (and not by me to be included as an ugly 'Murkin with him). There was nudity in public parks in Germany; usually men on their lunch hour getting some rays. Way TMI in most cases. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/51 "2024-06-10T20:47:06Z")
Our local nude beach here in Miami **[Haulover Nude Beach, Florida](https://www.hauloverbeach.org/)** is a section of a larger public beach / park: **[Haulover Park - Miami-Dade County](http://www.miamidade.gov/parks/haulover.asp)** When I’ve gone it seems to have spontaneously socially divided into the gay men’s zone and the everybody else zone, about 50/50 by beach frontage length. Lotta the gay guys are youngish, buff, and obviously attentive to their well-tanned appearance. The everybody else zone is much more ordinary middle aged Joes & Janes. Plus a small contingent of young women mostly alone who’re displaying very even all-over tans too. > [@puzzlegal](#): > > And swimming in the nude feels really good. There’s something about the feeling of water sheeting over your whole body that’s nice. It really does. Remarkably different than any sort of suit, be it baggy or snug. In all, IMO a pleasant way to pass an afternoon. It’s enough of a drive from home for me to not be a practical regular experience. But if I’m already down in Miami for another reason then it’s a nice stop on the way home if the time of day is right. > [@carrps](#): > > > [@kayaker](#): > > > > My gf replied, “French? We’re from fucking Pittsburgh, you don’t get less French than Pittsburgh”. > > I think I just fell in love with your gf! Well, it seems GF’s french is pretty fluent. 😉 I hope she has (or can affect) a real thick working-class Pittsburgh accent to deliver her put-down. Color me another person simply baffled by the OP. Both the words and the thinking behind them. But it did give us all a chance to talk about nudity and beaches, so that’s good. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/52 "2024-06-10T22:39:55Z")
Maybe Asuka is 14? I feel like most of my male friends have stories about embarrassing erections in middle school. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/53 "2024-06-10T22:42:20Z")
He (presumably he) joined 8 years ago. If our min age is IIRC 15, he’s gotta be at least 23 now. If they’re a she of whatever age who has zero experience with male anatomy that might make more sense. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2024, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/54 "2024-06-10T23:55:21Z")
All I know is that you’ll need maximum sun protection, so you should use this: [Amazon.com: Zinka Colored Nosecoat Waterproof Sunblock - .6oz Tube (Jungle Green) : Beauty & Personal Care](https://www.amazon.com/Zinka-Colored-Nosecoat-Waterproof-Sunblock/dp/B01BJSV2H6?ref_=ast_sto_dp) ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/55 "2024-06-11T15:18:43Z")
Awww, what a trip down memory lane, I remember when their neon colors were ALL the rage on your nose DECADES ago; like everything else fashionable, overnight they became lame. Good to know they’re still around. Don’t know that I’ll be buying any but still happy to see it. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/56 "2024-06-12T14:39:19Z")
You have to admit it would be hilarious if someone used that stuff…elsewhere… on a nude beach. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2024, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/57 "2024-06-16T04:54:37Z")
I am reminded in “[Tales from the Vulgar Unicorn](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_from_the_Vulgar_Unicorn)” it was mentioned that in painting the sign for the eponymous tavern the signmaker used colors that left no doubt it was a _male_ unicorn. ---
**Author:** ![Boudicca90](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boudicca90/32/16818_2.png) [@Boudicca90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boudicca90)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2024, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/58 "2024-06-16T05:32:41Z")
Other than when I first got erections during puberty, it typically takes more than just some touching to get anything going. I would say just slather it on. I personally would never go to a nude beach though. I don’t desire to see other people naked and I absolutely don’t want to be naked around other people. Always tried to avoid those kinds of situations as much as possible growing up. I feel like younger people in general don’t tend to feel comfortable naked in public places. Always seems to be more of an older generation thing, like a bunch of old men hanging out naked in a steam room. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2024, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688/59 "2024-06-16T06:05:29Z")
I’ll say straight up I ain’t doin’ it. I’m skinny. Probably too skinny. Too many scars and attached devices. Me and the sun are not friends. Until they get SPF 1000, I suppose I’m stuck in the shade and covered. I can’t think of anything more unpleasant than being on a nice beach and being covered by sun screening cloth and everyone else having a toot of a time, partying it up. Y’all have fun and think of me out there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-men-supposed-to-apply-sunscreen-at-nude-beaches-without-you-know/1002688.md?page=2)