# How are you going to die? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 24, 2001, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875 "2001-08-24T08:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/1 "2001-08-24T08:25:31Z")
Well, what do we know for certain, except that we are going to die? I don’t know anything about my future, except that. So, how do you think you will? I don’t mean how do you want to. What you want is no longer the question. How do you think you might? Probably? Me? I have such unbeleivably strong genetic stock I might actually survive all my self-destructive tendentcies to die of old age like my great-grandmother. (My grand-parents are still alive- and driving cars and travelng to Europe. Like I said, good genes.) ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/2 "2001-08-24T10:44:15Z")
Heart attack ☹ ---
**Author:** ![daffodil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@daffodil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/daffodil)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/3 "2001-08-24T10:57:43Z")
Cancer ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/4 "2001-08-24T11:07:27Z")
alone ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/5 "2001-08-24T11:55:57Z")
What a nice little happy thread this is. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/6 "2001-08-24T12:30:16Z")
[[Clyde Bruckman](http://www.x-files.com/episodes/season3/3x04.html) voice] You don’t [/Clyde Bruckman voice] ---
**Author:** ![DarbyV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@DarbyV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarbyV)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/7 "2001-08-24T12:38:33Z")
I’m gonna be in a really bad makeshift bathroom in a Phoenix airport helping alot of foreign children when a crazy guy with a hand grenade comes in and throws the grenade at my best friend who then lobs it to me. He lifts me up to a tiny window where I hang on until the grenade goes off and tears off both my arms. I fall back down and a nun holds me until I bleed out which happens very fast. It’s ok though because my mom gave birth to me without ever knowing a mans touch. Or maybe I’ve just been reading too much John Irving. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/8 "2001-08-24T13:36:06Z")
_ **Old Joke Alert** _ Peacefully… in my sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in my car. 😃 Seriously, I hope I die in the arms of my love. Smiling and contented that I lived a good life, was a good husband, a good father, and a good friend. ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/9 "2001-08-24T13:42:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simetra \* > \*\*_ **Old Joke Alert** _ > > Peacefully… in my sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in my car. > > 😃 > \*\* That is friggin hilarious! I think I will die doing something stupid like testing a light socket with a fork. Possibly eating a posionous mushroom… that’s the kind of luck I have. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/10 "2001-08-24T13:48:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DarbyV \* > \*\*I’m gonna be in a really bad makeshift bathroom in a Phoenix airport helping alot of foreign children when a crazy guy with a hand grenade comes in and throws the grenade at my best friend who then lobs it to me. He lifts me up to a tiny window where I hang on until the grenade goes off and tears off both my arms. I fall back down and a nun holds me until I bleed out which happens very fast. It’s ok though because my mom gave birth to me without ever knowing a mans touch. > Or maybe I’ve just been reading too much John Irving. 😃 \*\* That’s my favourite book of all time. Isn’t that the BEST ending you’ve ever read? I was thinking about starting a thread to see if anyone wanted to discuss the book with me. Interested? [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![DarbyV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@DarbyV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarbyV)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/11 "2001-08-24T13:59:06Z")
I would Love to Francesca, I just finished reading it for the first time and it is fabulous. You can e-mail me if you want to. I’ll get back to you later this afternoon, or start a thread, I would love to see what everyone else thought of this book too 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/12 "2001-08-24T14:27:32Z")
I can’t get online this weekend - I’ll start a thread Sunday night when I get back (I’m currently reading it for the fifth time ;)) ---
**Author:** ![Bartman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bartman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bartman)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/13 "2001-08-24T14:56:46Z")
How am I going to die? Blasting across the alkali flats in a monkey driven rocket car, how else. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/14 "2001-08-24T15:01:21Z")
I’m taking a page from **RickJay’s** book. I’m going to be mowed down in a hail of bullets after a lengthy gunfight with fifty federal officers on Capitol Hill. My last words will be, “I’ll come back as a zombie and kill every last one of you sons of bitches.” ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/15 "2001-08-24T15:09:29Z")
I am an old woman. It is forty years from now. My hands are wrapped around someone’s throat, and his around mine. We have squeezed the life out of each other. He is a creationist, and I am wheezing, "A . . . scientific . . . theory . . . is . . . not . . . a . . . guess. . . " It _will_ happen. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/16 "2001-08-24T15:11:14Z")
Consider that there is no history of disease in my family. I have a very low heart rate, and low blood pressure. I don’t engage in high-risk activities, and have a safe job. As far as I know, I am quite healthy, and will likely live a long life… …if I never left the house. I am convinced that I will be out driving one day when a drunk driver will approach from the opposite direction, lose control of the vehicle, crash the divider and go airborne. The 3000 pound projectile will head right for my car, shearing off the roof, and my head in the process. As my car bounces off the divider and spins around wildly, my head, now lying on the floor, will look up in frozen horror as the lights start to dim. The worst part is that I’ll die dizzy. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cyndar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/17 "2001-08-24T15:41:26Z")
A safe (or paino) will fall from the sky and land on my head. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/18 "2001-08-24T15:51:48Z")
In elementary school, I ran across the street and was hit by a car that couldn’t quite stop in time. It knocked me down and I scraped mu hands. I’ve been electrocuted I don’t know how many times. I was in an accident involving a porch swing a few years ago. I got a concussion and fractured my sternum. While trying to find the right mix of pills to help my ADHD, I tried a combo without notifying the doctor first. It worked so I kept taking it. When my doctor found out, he told me I had been mixng uppers and downers and was lucky to be alive. So I’m convinced that I’ll die in a truly stupid way doing something routine and considered safe. ``` --choke to death on peanut butter while watching tv ---slip on the kitchen floor while doing dishes and stab myself in the heart with a fork ----Fall over while putting on socks and break or my neck -----Or maybe a freak accident while riding a unicycle. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/19 "2001-08-24T16:07:49Z")
Lying on top of a pile of money, surrounded by many beautiful women. ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875/20 "2001-08-24T16:08:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cyndar \* > \*\*A safe (or paino) will fall from the sky and land on my head. \*\* I am not completely sure what a **pain** o but man I bet that if it fell on your head it would be p **ia** nofull! 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-are-you-going-to-die/77875.md?page=2)