Right after saying “Hey! Check this out!”
i’ll likely be found in some embarassing pose, like on the toilet after taking a stinky poo or on the floor with numerous vibrators protruding from my girl-parts.
It will be the result of some horribly clumsy bahaviour on my bahalf. All dignity will be lost.
I feel as though I am jinxing myself by responding to this thread at all. Notice how I didn’t write “cancer” or “AIDS”.
Hmm…either by:
*Inhaling a dandelion by accident, while trying to blow it out…and there’s a bee on it that stings the inside of my throat and I have a reaction and swell up and die. This could possibly happen sometime in my 70’s.
or:
*My damn incense lights my room on fire because I left it burning while I slept and I only wake up by the time the burns are too horrible to want to live with.
Wait, maybe that last one isn’t possible…would you wake up when you first felt the burning? Hmm well probably the first one then 
Like a sissy.
There will be a car involved. Either I’ll drive myself off an embankment sooner or later, or I’ll live my whole life driving like I’m at Le Mans and never seriously injure myself in a car crash, and then I’ll be all growed up and old and I’ll sit down on a park bench and some show-off kid with a junk car will jump the curb and kill me.
Unless I kill myself first, which is always a possibility.
I always figured I had a buffet of horrible diseases to choose from. Cancer, Alzheimers, heart disease, diabetes, depression, and high blood pressure all run in my family.
Of course I’ll probably die way before any of those get me in a freak scuba diving accident involving a shark attack. It will be especially freakish because I don’t scuba dive and am deathly afraid of sharks which keeps me out of the ocean. One day, though, I’ll screw up my courage to go scuba diving in the ocean because people tell me how great it is and those damned nature shows make it look so tempting. I’ll be swimming along thinking “It’s all so beautiful! It’s like I’m flying in a kaleidoscope sky!” Then JAWS will come by and bite me in half. Even worse is that he’d spit me out because sharks don’t like the taste of people meat. He wouldn’t have the decency to eat me.
By my own hand. None of this “death by natural causes” shit.
I’m gonna die by being hit by lightning from that black cloud that always follows me 
Not too morbid that it can’t be followed by a “Me too”.
Car accident, I’m almost sure of it.
It’d have to be that or drugs because if I was going to kill myself, I’d probably be dead by now.
Either heart attack before I’m 30, or a car wreck–I’ve had lots of close calls (note: spinning a car at 70 mph across a grass median into oncoming traffic is kinda fun if you manage to not get hit).
Locked in mortal combat with a proctologist.
Hopefully from a lack of oxygen, and/or freezing to death while staring up at Earth from the moon.
When I’m old in Montfort’s arms.
And I guess on the moon will do then.
I have the idea the brick (or whatever–it’s a metaphor) that’s going to fall on my head is somewhere in the process of creation. Maybe it’s still clay, or being fired, or waiting in a stack to be loaded, but one day–one day, it’ll come tumbling down at my head as I pass underneath, clueless.
Crunch. Ha-ha, joke’s on me.
[Hemingway]
Why did g8rguy cross the road?
To die. In the rain.
[/Hemingway]
Best guess? My little brother will do me in by accident. Either that or one of these days I’ll have a fatal mishap in a chemistry lab.
I recently found out from a health care professional I know about something known as a heart explosion. Apparently, under enough stress, pop.
You’re dead before you fall.
That’s what I’m going for. I’m hoping for ribcage shrapnel.
Judging by my relatives, I merely need to avoid three things: cigarettes, asbestos and Germans. Seriously, every relative who hasn’t been killed by one of those three things has lived into their late-90’s or early triple-digits.
So I’ll be run over by a Porsche with a Marlboro sticker in the window.
–sublight.
I died on December 3, 1991. Stay tuned for my ten-year anniversary post about being undead!
Cancer. But first, I’ll go blind, impotent, on dialysis, and have to have my feet cut off.
I’ll probably electrocute myself in my own house because I’ll forget to shut the power off before rewiring the place…
absent-mindedness is a wonderful thing
Le Sang