# How best could Episode VII piss off fans? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 31, 2012, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398 "2012-10-31T04:07:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/1 "2012-10-31T04:07:11Z")
Now that it’s been announced, how could the script of Ep VII annoy fans even more than the the unfairly attacked prequels? Lets see _StarWars Episode VII, Original cast as they look today_ _StarWars Episode VII! All Ewoks all the time_ _StarWars Episode VII Episode V retold with Hayden Christensen as a suitless VaderI_ _StarWars Episode VII, The George Binks Story_ (if you do not know who George Binks is, look up the site not called wookiepedia. _StarWars Episode VII, naughty Handmaidens_, actually could work.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/2 "2012-10-31T04:10:21Z")
Musical. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/3 "2012-10-31T04:11:28Z")
Ewoks. Lots and lots of Ewoks… ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/4 "2012-10-31T04:13:55Z")
There will be an huge showdown between Ted Lupin and Scorpio Malfoy … oh, wait, sorry, wrong universe … ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/5 "2012-10-31T04:14:37Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Ewoks. Lots and lots of Ewoks… Ewoks are cute! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/6 "2012-10-31T04:15:58Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Musical. {Earworm] ♪ Just an old sweet song keeps Jar Jar on my mind ♪ [/Earworm] ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/7 "2012-10-31T04:21:35Z")
“Being Jar Jar Binks” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/8 "2012-10-31T04:30:27Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Ewoks are cute! Not when you sat down in the theatre still expecting to the see seven-foot-tall Wookies kicking Stormtrooper butt on Kashyyyk you were promised when they were promoting _Revenge of the Jedi,_ they aren’t. That kind of hurt never goes away. No, you sit there in your seat, and from the first [flash of recognition](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3135/3044056007_11a3b485d7.jpg) when an Ewok shows up on screen, you’re all, like, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Just like that, your childhood is in ruins. _sob_ ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/9 "2012-10-31T04:37:34Z")
Wookie penis. ---
**Author:** ![magnusblitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@magnusblitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magnusblitz)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/10 "2012-10-31T04:41:16Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > Not when you sat down in the theatre still expecting to the see seven-foot-tall Wookies kicking Stormtrooper butt on Kashyyyk you were promised when they were promoting _Revenge of the Jedi,_ they aren’t. > > That kind of hurt never goes away. No, you sit there in your seat, and from the first [flash of recognition](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3135/3044056007_11a3b485d7.jpg) when an Ewok shows up on screen, you’re all, like, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Just like that, your childhood is in ruins. > > _sob_ I know that Lucas originally intended to use Wookies instead of Ewoks in Episode 6, but did this idea really last long enough to reach the promotional materials? I kinda have trouble believing this. Anyways, I bet the most realistic way they screw up Episode 7 is put it far enough in the future that none of the main characters from the 4-6 trilogy show up. A bunch of new characters no one really likes. (I liked the concept of Star Wars Legacy, but I admit that none of the characters really ever grew on me, leaving the whole exercise kinda soulless for me). ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/11 "2012-10-31T04:46:46Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Now that it’s been announced, how could the script of Ep VII annoy fans even more than the the unfairly attacked prequels? > Lets see > _StarWars Episode VII, Original cast as they look today_ I dunno, that might work. Isn’t there something in the EU about Han and Leia having kids who grow up to be Jedi? Having the old cast (in minor roles) as parents of adult offspring in _Star Wars: The Next Generation_ wouldn’t be the worst idea. Okay, so the bar isn’t very high, but still. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/12 "2012-10-31T04:49:29Z")
“MAIDS (Midichlorian Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome)” ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/13 "2012-10-31T04:57:27Z")
Darth Duck? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/14 "2012-10-31T05:17:35Z")
Mr. and Mrs Solo are going out to dinner to celebrate their fifteenth wedding anniversary. But who’s going to watch the kids? There’s 12-year old Lucas (named for his uncle Luke) right at the awkward, gangly part of space puberty, 9-year old Ami (named for the late Grandma Amidala), a smart-mouthed prepubescent cutie, such as are found all over EVERY galaxy, near or far. Bringing up the rear is little 4-year old Anikin, who doesn’t do much, but the Force is VERY strong in HIM. Who’s going to be able to keep up with these irrepressible little dynamos? Well, probably not old uncle Jar-Jar, but he’s the only one available. Han and Leia are just gonna have to hope for the best. The best is not to be, unfortunately, because guess who just got out of space jail? Why, it’s Rocky the Hutt, not pleased that his uncle Jabba has shuffled off this mortal space coil (through the good offices of the kids’ mother), and he’s interested in discussing his dissatisfaction and possible retributionary measures with the happy anniversary couple. Oh, hijinks are GONNA ensue, you can bet your bottom Quatloo on that! (working title: _Blue Working Title)_ ---
**Author:** ![audit1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/15 "2012-10-31T05:36:28Z")
Casting anyone from one or more of the following: Shake it up Austin and Ally Jessie Suite Life on Deck Suite Life of Zac and Cody Hannah Montana A.N.T. Farm High School Musical ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/16 "2012-10-31T05:56:10Z")
By being good enough to get mainstream approval, infuriating hardcore fans who sneer at the masses for not picking up on the thousand of minor details that collectively form an insulting, childhood-destroying symphony. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/17 "2012-10-31T06:01:54Z")
I’m pretty sure the best way to piss off SW fans is to make Epsiode VII about Kyle Katarn and then proceed to fuck up the story by introducing a lame sidekick or giving Katarn some ridiculous character flaw. Especially since the Star Wars fans know that movie canon supersedes EU canon so they’d have to live with the fact that the lame version of Katarn is now, forever, the definitive version. ETA: Or find some cheap way to cash in on another EU character that has no business being there, like finding a reason for Revan to show up post-Empire just to cash in on the recognition. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/18 "2012-10-31T06:37:28Z")
**How best could Episode VII piss off fans?** Simple. By letting George Lucas have _ **absolutely anything whatsoever** _ to do with it! (Aside from cutting the check)… ---
**Author:** ![SecretaryofEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SecretaryofEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecretaryofEvil)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/19 "2012-10-31T08:48:12Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Musical. I dunno, they do call it a space opera after all. ---
**Author:** ![SecretaryofEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SecretaryofEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecretaryofEvil)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398/20 "2012-10-31T08:49:48Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > “MAIDS (Midichlorian Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome)” So wrong yet so right. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-best-could-episode-vii-piss-off-fans/639398.md?page=2)