How best to get somebody off the cigs...

In My Humble Opinion
1

One of my brothers-in-law sold his company a few months ago for a tidy sum, which is a wonderful accomplishment. However, the due-diligence phase of the transaction was very high-stress, and BIL wound up falling off the nicotine wagon, hard, as a means of coping with frayed nerves and sleepless nights. Now that the pressure is off, he’s still smoking like a fiend. He both loves and hates his return to addiction (a state he ruefully acknowledges), as I’m sure many relapsed smokers do.

It’s a rather tacky source of interventional inspiration, but you see somebody like Peter Jennings bite it from lung cancer, and suddenly you get a new sense of urgency. Both his sister (being my wife) and I would like to help him kick the habit again (and I know he wishes to as well, if not quite yet). However, I’m pretty sure the “hey, man, look what happened to Peter Jennings” approach is not the right way to go about it.

My brother smoked for about five years, despite constant harassment from his entire family, but only quit when he had a child; but BIL has already had three kids and a vasectomy, so clearly he’s not going to experience some epiphany over that kind of life change like my brother did any time soon.

My brother is the only person I ever hounded so relentlessly in an attempt to get him to quit, and I’m quite confident I had absolutely no positive impact on him whatsoever. Nobody did. He made his own mind up, when he was damn good and ready, that he didn’t want to set that kind of example for his kids, and that was that.

My wife’s tried to broach the subject with her brother, but he seems to weary of that topic of conversation in seconds, and gently suspends all such discussion before it can really start. I dunno. I’ve really no idea what the right approach to this is, or even if there’s much of anything well-wishing in-laws can do that would be of use.

If anyone has any practical advice, I’m all ears (or eyeballs, in this case). Presently, I’m at a loss for any viable means to a beneficial end.

2

This worked for me, my wife, and my mother in law. Definitely worth 15 bucks.

3

It also worked for me and several of my friends. 6 years smoke-free and loving it.

4

The order to Amazon has been placed, Hal. Thanks!

Now I just have to figure out the best way to give it to him.

5

People won’t stop smoking until the reasons that make them want to quit are more important to them than the reasons to make them keep smoking.

Example:
I’ve met a few people who have quit smoking after their first heart attack. Sometimes it takes 2 or 3 heart attacks…sometime though the 2nd or 3rd is the fatal one and they never get the chance to quit.

One of my current patients has a very nasty vasculitis (currently affecting 4 of his fingers, both his kidneys and all of his toes). He smokes 40 a day. He has been told repeatedly that he will lose all his toes, most of his fingers and faces life on dialysis if he doesn’t quit, and that even if he does quit his prognosis wouldn’t be much better, as the smoking has already done most of the damage. His view is that life without cigarettes is no life at all, and wouldn’t be worth living, and nothing anyone can say will convince him otherwise.

Long story short, keep approaching this from different angles, hopefully you’ll find something to motivate him to change, but without that internal impetus nothing will be successful.

6

I just stopped. Been almost a year now after something like 8 years of smoking.

The biggest thing for me was not to allow any cheating.

I spent probably two years where I would have honestly said “I don’t smoke except for Friday nights when I’m with the guys”. Except, well, that’s not true. Because since was still “kind of smoking anyway” I’d have some left over after Friday night. I’d have to pick some up on the way there (or the day before). I’d bum cigarettes from people I worked with during the week.

Not the most successful quitting program ever. I probably smoked 5-6 days a week but would insist that I only “really” smoked on Fridays.

Once I decided to stop half-assing it and just quit I’ve been fine.

-Joe

7

“Here, some friends recommended this as a very effective way to stop smoking, and I thought I’d pick it up for you. Stick it on a shelf, bury it in the garage, whatever you want to do with it. But when you decide you’ve had enough, give it a read.”

8

He has to want to do it. And cold turkey is the way to go when they finally make that decision, I say.

9

I don’t think it’s tacky to be inspired by Jennings’ death. ABC News did a report last night on the large numbers of people who are quitting in his memory. They said that many of the people on their message boards are posting that they are quitting. Here’s an article about the Jennings Effect. Whatever works.

10

Believe me, I tried every stop-smoking method I heard of (except hypnotism), and cold turkey was by far the worst way to do it. All it did was convince me that there was absolutely no way I could go more than 4 hours without a cigarette, and that I might as well give up. I didn’t try again for another 3 years.

I finally quit after numerous attempts when I discovered Commit lozenges. I had tried Nicorette, but the lozenges were somehow more effective fore me; I don’t know, more “oral” or something. But by using them, I went the whole day without a cigarette for the first time in 20 years, which convinced me that quitting was actually possible.

My hat’s off to people who quit cold turkey, but I wasn’t one of them. I hadn’t heard of Hal’s suggestion before, though. I wish I’d heard of it 3 years ago.

11

Somebody on NPR yesterday mentioned that the most sucessful way to quit is in fact cold turkey. I picked a date and on that date I stopped smoking. It has been just shy of one year smoke free for me.

12

I did the atropine/scopolamine injections a while ago (my insurance company insisted on a smoking cessation program, and that one didn’t require six months of behavioral therapy).

It seems to work – absolutely wipes out nicotine withdrawal. You find yourself patting empty pockets for a few weeks, but that’s about it. It’s expensive if you have to pay for it yourself, and it takes a couple days to get over the initial treatment, but basically it’s cold turkey without the pain. I didn’t trust it fully at first because it’s tough to find anything published except by the people who are in the business of selling it, but my experience so far matches the advertising.

13

I believe it. I wasn’t being sarcastic when I said that I admire people who quit cold turkey. I picked a day, I was truly motivated, and I quit for about 4 hours. For me, it merely reinforced the impossibility of quitting.

By the way, what was the context of the quote on NPR? Did they have a segment about quitting smoking?

14

Thanks for all the stories and advice, folks, and keep it coming if you’ve got more to share. My wife also fears her brother is setting a rather poor example for his teenage son, so there’s a bit of extra urgency to the endeavor now.

15

I’ve been smoke free since March 13 ,2004.

I went on Wellbutrin, made up a plan and stuck to it. The plan was to eliminate one trigger at a time. I also committed to daily workouts to stave off the inevitable weight gain. I am now attempting to take off the inevitable extra weight. I read this book, which helped me tremendously.

Bottom line: I think this is none of your business. Nothing my sister or her husband could have said to me would motivate me not to smoke. I chose to quit when I felt I needed to quit. I had developed asthma and was sick of feeling terrible every minute of every day. But different things motivate different people. That’s why some posters here think cold turkey is the best and only way and I believe the opposite is true. I seriously don’t think you can do a thing to influence someone else’s decisions about how they want to take care of/abuse their body. I don’t think there’s a polite, considerate way to go about it because, to me, this falls in the controlling-other-people’s-behavior category, which I think you would probably agree, is a foolish proposition at best.

I’m all for sharing with him resources so that when he’s good and darn ready to make the choice, you’ve helped him find the best way for him to quit, but it’s totally up to him as to when and how and you should not kid yourself if you think you can change that.

16

I quit last May 29th after 19 years. I used Wellbutrin to start also, but had to quit it after 2 weeks due to other reasons.

Unfortunately, I agree with the other posters who say it’s all up to him. I had tried to quit a few times previously, but my heart wasn’t really in it, so it was impossible. Once I had REALLY decided to quit, it became possible (still harder than hell though).

17

Under “last post”, this thread showed up as “How best to get somebody off” :eek:

18

…which often is a prelude to lighting up…

19

Well, nothing is my business, I suppose, when it comes to other people’s choices, but sometimes expressing a bit of concern over dangerous habits is, IMO, fair play. That said, I recognize from experience that beleaguering somebody over their “filthy habits” is, at best, counterproductive. I’m hopeful there’s a good balance somewhere between constructive interventionism and oppressive sanctimony.

20

Wrigleys DoubleMint gum seems to help quite a bit. Exactly that flavour & brand. Combined with Nicotine gum (not at the same time, just in between) However, they 1st need to want to quit.