# How can a person respond to a cowbell "assault?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 18, 2017, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985 "2017-08-18T15:45:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/1 "2017-08-18T15:45:48Z")
A hypothetical question, inspired by the IMHO discussion of the events in Charlottesville. Suppose I am in a public space, and someone approaches to within twelve inches of my head and begins banging a cowbell as hard as they can. For the sake of discussion, consider two possible volume levels, one of which is injurious to my hearing, and one of which is merely very (deliberately) annoying. What actions by me are permissible under the law? Is this regarded as an assault that I can legally repel with “reasonable” (i.e. nonlethal) physical force, e.g. pushing them away or taking their cowbell and throwing it on a nearby roof? Do I have no legally permissible option other than to leave the area? What can I do if the person follows me and continues hammering the cowbell in close proximity to my head no matter where I go? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/2 "2017-08-18T16:05:28Z")
Interesting question. If it’s loud enough to actually damage your hearing, or even just to give you a headache, then that’s surely battery, and you are entitled to defend yourself with reasonable physical force. But the scenario where it’s just an _annoying_ level of noise (or any other type of deliberate provocative annoyance) is interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/3 "2017-08-18T16:15:57Z")
If it’s sufficiently injurious, it’s a battery that can be prevented consistent with the self-defense law of your jurisdiction (which may or may not require your attempted retreat). You probably need to make at least one further distinction between non-injurious and lawful and non-injurious and unlawful: there are probably circumstances in which the cowbell banging isn’t battery, but might nevertheless be some other crime or civil violation, in which case your recourse could involve calling the police or getting a court injunction. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/4 "2017-08-18T17:30:28Z")
You are definitely being assaulted in the general sense of the term, but state laws will vary on whether it’s criminal assault if it’s simply annoying. If it’s loud enough to injure your ears than it’s no different than an assault and battery with a weapon like a knife or a club or a gun so you can use reasonable force to protect yourself. However, your judgment about the injurious nature of the noise may get questioned after you beat up that Salvation Army Santa Claus. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/5 "2017-08-18T17:34:07Z")
Make sure you get it on video! ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/6 "2017-08-18T18:54:41Z")
The situation where somebody deliberate annoys & provokes (cowbell) - assuming that there’s no threat of physical harm - seems not too different from a persistent barking dog problem that a neighbor refuses to address. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/7 "2017-08-18T18:59:38Z")
What if they followed Christopher Walken around with a cowbell? He’d enjoy it. “More! I want more cowbell!” ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/8 "2017-08-18T19:57:19Z")
If you happen to be in Starkville, MS, the proper response is “Hail State!”. Replying anything like “Hotty Toddy!”, “Roll Tide!” or “Geaux Tigers” might get your ass kicked. If you are not in Starkville, you are probably allowed to use reasonable force to resist/end the threat. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/9 "2017-08-18T20:04:29Z")
Google shows a couple of cases involving assault using a boombox, but those generally involved actually swinging it at someone’s head. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/10 "2017-08-18T20:18:49Z")
If the person really wanted to ruin your hearing, they would leave the clanger in the cowbell. It’s much louder than hitting it with something. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/11 "2017-08-18T20:33:09Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > A hypothetical question, inspired by the IMHO discussion of the events in Charlottesville. > > Suppose I am in a public space, and someone approaches to within twelve inches of my head and begins banging a cowbell as hard as they can. For the sake of discussion, consider two possible volume levels, one of which is injurious to my hearing, and one of which is merely very (deliberately) annoying. > > What actions by me are permissible under the law? Is this regarded as an assault that I can legally repel with “reasonable” (i.e. nonlethal) physical force, e.g. pushing them away or taking their cowbell and throwing it on a nearby roof? > > Do I have no legally permissible option other than to leave the area? > > What can I do if the person follows me and continues hammering the cowbell in close proximity to my head no matter where I go? Is this any different than if someone is just yelling very slowly, or using a megaphone? I would actually say that an air horn in the face could cross the line into assault. I would think that your first obligation would in fact be to move away. If that doesn’t work, talk to a cop. If they follow you, then they are crossing some new lines of harassment, and things are going to be slightly different. But, I would say that in most places, physically touching someone with the intent of forcing them to do or stop doing something is definitely going to be considered assault, and if you are the first to make physical contact, it’s probably not going to go in your favor. OTOH, if you are in a state that allows you to defend yourself without obligation to retreat, you can probably just shoot them, and claim that you were defending yourself. Easiest way to deal, I would think, would be to put in some earplugs. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/12 "2017-08-18T22:44:05Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > If the person really wanted to ruin your hearing, they would leave the clanger in the cowbell. It’s much louder than hitting it with something. On a pedantic note - it’s not a “clanger” it is a clapper. While you may not be able to do much; surely most States would have some laws about “disturbing the peace”? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/13 "2017-08-18T23:37:41Z")
> [@bob\_2](#): > > On a pedantic note - it’s not a “clanger” it is a clapper. These are [Clangers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ok6CoIwcJ-E)! My favorite TV show as a kid. 1970s CGI aliens. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/14 "2017-08-18T23:46:47Z")
> [@bob\_2](#): > > On a pedantic note - it’s not a “clanger” it is a clapper. > > While you may not be able to do much; surely most States would have some laws about “disturbing the peace”? [Were they clean copper clappers kept in the closet?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjquGpmgwOo) (Jack Webb had a great sense of humor.) ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2017, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/15 "2017-08-19T01:52:35Z")
It depends on whether or not you’re currently attending a Blue Öyster Cult concert. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2017, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/16 "2017-08-19T02:18:38Z")
Yeah, I can see myself saying, “don’t fear the reaper”, as I throw a roundhouse at their head. I’ll take my chances with a jury. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2017, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-a-person-respond-to-a-cowbell-assault/793985/17 "2017-08-19T02:22:39Z")
I put my pants on one leg at a time, same as everyone else. The difference is that once my pants are on, I make gold records!