# How can being born deaf or hoh be a gift ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 19, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-being-born-deaf-or-hoh-be-a-gift/735093 "2015-10-19T02:42:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-being-born-deaf-or-hoh-be-a-gift/735093/21 "2015-10-21T00:41:21Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Anyone here have a deaf boss or heard of a deaf manager of hearing persons? I’ve had two deaf/hoh bosses. The first, Stav, was when I was putting myself through undergrad by working at PetSmart. I believe he had a cochlear implant that provided him with limited ability to hear, or else he was extremely hard-of-hearing. In either case, he would augment what hearing he did have by reading lips. He was one of the best bosses I ever had when working retail, and he had a great sense of humor. Once, he and I were ringing register side by side, and a family came in with a shrieking toddler–I have never heard a child scream like that in my life. The family did nothing to address it…and not in an ‘we’re letting this run it’s course’ sort of way, but in a more neglectful, disinterested kind of way. It went on for a good ten minutes. As they came through my line, Stav looked up, eyes darting all around the store, either not realizing or doing a very good job of _pretending_ to not realize that the sound is coming from the kid in my line, and asks very loudly, “What on Earth is that? Is it a bird? Did one of the birds escape? It’s AWFUL.” The look on the parents’ faces was priceless. And the kid shut up. More recently, I got to work with a deaf supervisor in my Clinical Psychology Ph.D program. She specializes in multi-cultural issues, especially transgender (one of my areas of specialization) and Deaf culture (not something I have expertise in, but a topic I thought might be interesting in learning more about). She supervised my individual work and I had her for group supervision, too. It was really interesting to learn about her work with Deaf/deaf clients. One of the resources she directed us to in group sup may be of interest [http://www.michaelharvey-phd.com/](http://www.michaelharvey-phd.com/); the Recent Articles go into some of the unique aspects of Deaf culture. One of the articles is about a case in which a family is trying to figuring out whether or not to get a cochlear implant for their eight-year-old son…it’s the one called “Does God have a Cochlear Implant?” Midway through there are some really interesting comparisons to Deaf culture and other marginalized groups, and gets into how the dad grapples with his own identity as a Black man and how this is similar/dissimilar to Deaf culture. It touches on some of the “how is deafness a blessing” themes in a really interesting way and may be worth checking out. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-being-born-deaf-or-hoh-be-a-gift/735093/22 "2015-10-21T01:15:16Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I would say that, if you’re deaf, it’s better to have been born that way if that happens to mean you learned your local Sign Language, were able to attend school in it, etc., than to be in the situation of so many people who refuse to treat their hearing loss until it’s too late. **Still means you’re sort of in a bubble of your own for a lot of social situations.** Quoted for truth. I’m not big-D Deaf, but I am deaf in one ear, and have been from birth. And it has unquestionably been a handicap in social situations. My hearing has been getting worse in my good ear, too, and I’m definitely noticing the isolation that that engenders. On the other hand, I’ve never had trouble sleeping in a noisy environment, so, y’know, I got that going for me. In truth, my dysthymia and ADD are bigger handicaps. Just my $0.02. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-being-born-deaf-or-hoh-be-a-gift/735093/23 "2015-10-21T01:23:27Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Anyone here have a deaf boss or heard of a deaf manager of hearing persons? I’ve had a couple over the years; worked out fine all around. It would work out even better today; back then using a paper and pen for some communications was a chore. With the new laptops and notebooks, no real problem at all. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-being-born-deaf-or-hoh-be-a-gift/735093/24 "2015-10-21T01:42:29Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > I’ve had a couple over the years; worked out fine all around. It would work out even better today; back then using a paper and pen for some communications was a chore. With the new laptops and notebooks, no real problem at all. The more technical the field, the less likely anyone is going to want to talk on the phone. I’ve drawn a paycheck working for people that I have never once spoken to, and honestly I prefer it that way. There is an e-mail trail that we can both refer to and avoid miscommunication. Unless you have a job that requires face-to-face contact, deaf is not a problem at all. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-being-born-deaf-or-hoh-be-a-gift/735093/25 "2015-10-21T01:56:34Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > You’ve got a tool that will help me to function at my optimal capacity, with few side effects? Give it to me! A good tool can only make me stronger. Hallmark Lesson #1: Toolmaking and using is part of our heritage as Humans. Personally, I would not deny my child a tool if it were financially possible. > [@](#): > > Maybe a little self-delusion is required for self-confidence. I dunno. Hallmark Lesson #2: Self-delusion is often at the core of self-confidence. You need to believe you can do something, no matter how unskilled you really are, to even try it. We all have a bit of Dunning–Kruger in us. > [@gaffa](#): > > No worse than any other programmer. Oh. That bad, huh? :o ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-being-born-deaf-or-hoh-be-a-gift/735093/26 "2015-10-21T02:14:43Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > As far as I understand it, it’s a subculture thing. > > It would certainly be unkind to characterise deaf cultures/communities as worse in every way than hearing cultures/communities. > > Therefore it stands to reason that some people prefer elements of their culture/community to those on the outside of it. For some people, the positive elements of their community must (I guess) far outweigh the negative ones. > > I have a hard time wrapping my head around it, but I don’t feel it’s my place to criticise it - as it’s all very subjective anyway. Except that members of the deaf community that deny treatment to their children are tacitly recognising that the positives outweigh the negatives by that refusal. Otherwise they would not be concerned that their children would leave their community, given the option. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-being-born-deaf-or-hoh-be-a-gift/735093/27 "2015-10-21T03:15:21Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Anyone here have a deaf boss or heard of a deaf manager of hearing persons? I’ve had a deaf boss, completely unable to perceive sound. She went deaf in early adulthood, though, so although she was fluent in Sign it was her second language. (Post-deafness, she was learning Italian, including to lipread and speak it. I suspect she had better than typical linguistic and other skills to pull that off.) You work around the deafness issues. I’ve had visually impaired/blind bosses, too, same situation, you work around any problems that arise. Yes, it’s a handicap, but it’s not something insurmountable in the vast majority of situations. Particularly with modern technology there are very few things that the blind or deaf can’t handle in the work world. > [@](#): > > Look, I have respect for them but its crazy not to see it as a handicap. I tend to feel the same way. However, for a long, long time deaf people were all too often treated as sub-human, less intelligent, less moral, and as inherent criminals - seriously, look into some of the history, some of it is terrible. I can understand a desire to close ranks and get defensive. In some cases, I think parents fear if their children are hearing or given implants or whatever they’ll “lose” the child to a world they find alien and unaccepting, a world they can’t enter. Sure, people sometimes say something like cancer or some other serious medical issue is a “gift”, but they usually mean that they’ve found a way to pull something good out of something traumatic, not that cancer or losing a limb or whatever is somehow an _inherent_ good. It’s not. You might do an amazing job of making lemonade out of lemons, but that doesn’t make lemons in the natural state sweet rather than sour. Some Deaf folks, though, seem to regard Deafness as an inherent good… which viewpoint I have extreme difficulty in comprehending. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-being-born-deaf-or-hoh-be-a-gift/735093.md?page=1)