# How can I get a found diary back to wife w/o husband knowing?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 15, 2009, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782 "2009-06-15T00:34:26Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_Doubt)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/1 "2009-06-15T00:34:26Z")
I found a woman’s diary on the street today. There is no address or phone #, but through Internet sleuthing and a description by a neighbor, I am 99% sure that it belongs to a woman two doors down from us. I have reason to believe she would not want her husband to see it (I’m making every effort not to read it anymore than to find the owner, but I’ve seen enough to know there’s very pesonal info in it). Their last name is unknown and no number on the mailbox. She works and I don’t think the husband does. Of course, there is the possibility it was thrown out deliberately.
I found the husband’s myspace page, and it has a link to her page, but I don’t know enough about myspace – would a message sent to her be necessarily private? Should I set up an account to send her a msg? Any other ideas?
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### Author:  [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/2 "2009-06-15T01:36:18Z")
> [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](#):
>
> I found the husband’s myspace page, and it has a link to her page, but I don’t know enough about myspace – would a message sent to her be necessarily private? Should I set up an account to send her a msg? Any other ideas?
Yes, it should be. If you send her a message, she should be the only one that sees it (assuming that the husband doesn’t have access to her account).
In any case, you can be vague in your message “I found a book that I think is yours. Send me an email at [x@y.com](mailto:x@y.com) and we can work out a time to drop it off”.
When you get the email, confirm that it is indeed hers (just in case it is not). This will also provide a good opportunity to set her mind at ease and indicate that you haven’t read it.
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### Author:  [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/3 "2009-06-15T01:41:17Z")
I wouldn’t message her on MySpace. My sister-in-law set up my brother’s MySpace account and therefore receives all communication sent to him that way. I imagine other couples may have shared accounts in a similar manner.
Stick a flier in their letter box announcing that you found a book in the street at _x_ time on _x_ date and that the owner can collect it from you at your address. Heck, knock yourself out and stick similar fliers in your other neighbour’s letter boxes too in case you’re mistaken about the owner’s identity. If the husband comes to collect it and you’re uncomfortable giving it to him, show him a different book and claim that’s the one you found in the street.
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### Author:  [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_Doubt)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/4 "2009-06-15T03:43:51Z")
Hmm, the flier idea is a good one. If it works, I’ll certainly assure her I haven’t actually read it. If not, I’ll risk a message. We have several books that can act as decoys if the wrong person shows up.
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### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/5 "2009-06-15T15:13:34Z")
Do you know where she works?
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### Author:  [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/6 "2009-06-15T15:58:16Z")
Is there someone in the neighborhood who you know she is friendly with? You don’t have to reveal anything…just ask if she knows her schedule or something or that you want to invite her over for lemonade.
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### Author:  [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_Doubt)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/7 "2009-06-15T16:06:39Z")
She’s in the military. If there were a last name, it might be possible to find her through the base directory. They just moved in, so they’re unknown as yet to the neighbors. We’re semi-rural, so inviting over for tea might make sense also…am printing fliers next I get to the library…
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### Author:  [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/8 "2009-06-15T16:07:47Z")
Just have to ask this-
If their last name is unknown how in the world did you find their MySpace page?
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/9 "2009-06-15T16:18:04Z")
I’m disappointed at the lack of enterprise shown here. Whatever happened to entrepreneurialism?
I say adopt a sinister eastern European accent, call the house and if the wife answers, say “I found sometheeng very… Eeeenteresting. Maybe someone wouldn’t want to know what is in thees sometheeng… no? Some personal eenformation? Maybe it is worth sometheeng to you? Huh?”
It’s a win-win!
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### Author:  [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_Doubt)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/10 "2009-06-15T16:24:31Z")
Dunno about how well an easter Euro accent would sound…how about a west Tennessee twang?
WELL HOUR YEW???!!
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/11 "2009-06-15T17:05:32Z")
> [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](#):
>
> Dunno about how well an easter Euro accent would sound…how about a west Tennessee twang?
>
> WELL HOUR YEW???!!
I’m scared, so that could work.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2009, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/12 "2009-06-16T10:43:14Z")
Any update?
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### Author:  [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/13 "2009-06-16T20:31:49Z")
Yeah don’t leave us in the dark! We need updates! 😃
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/14 "2009-06-16T20:45:00Z")
Who the hell drops their diary with incriminating evidence in the street?
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### Author:  [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/15 "2009-06-16T21:17:15Z")
> [@Cazzle](#):
>
> Stick a flier in their letter box announcing that you found a book in the street at _x_ time on _x_ date and that the owner can collect it from you at your address. Heck, knock yourself out and stick similar fliers in your other neighbour’s letter boxes too in case you’re mistaken about the owner’s identity.
I realize you’re in Australia, where the law on this subject may be different, but what you are suggesting is a [federal offense in the USA.](http://74.125.93.132/search?q=cache:Bb8q3DSIwhEJ:www.gao.gov/cgi-bin/getrpt%3FGGD-97-85+mailbox+access+law&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us) From the linked site (scroll down to Page 6):
> [@](#):
>
> In 1934, Congress enacted a law known as the “mailbox restriction” that prohibits anyone from placing mailable matter without postage into any mailbox.
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### Author:  [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/16 "2009-06-16T21:47:01Z")
Is there any way you could encourage her to join some anonymous online community, like, er, um…a message board…and then let her know through a PM?
Or announce it on Craigslist, using an anonymous email address. For instance, if you already have your own website, set up a alias such as “[LostItems@AODIndustries.com](mailto:LostItems@AODIndustries.com)”
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/17 "2009-06-16T21:50:33Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#):
>
> Who the hell drops their diary with incriminating evidence in the street?
Well, someone who loses it by accident?
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### Author:  [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_Doubt)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/18 "2009-06-16T23:27:48Z")
OK…got delayed a bit by a high winds, lightning and the power being out, but now I know which car she drives. When it is dark tonight I will slip the note under the wipers.
I did post in Craigslist soon after finding the diary, no response.
Found their MySpace page by googling her name, our city and state, and her child’s VERY unique name. Husband’s picture looks just like guy I have seen in their backyard. Due to a very weird parcel shape, their backyard is practically next to ours.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2009, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/19 "2009-06-17T12:19:26Z")
Screw getting it back to her, get it published!
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2009, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-a-found-diary-back-to-wife-w-o-husband-knowing/499782/20 "2009-06-17T12:47:31Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> Well, someone who loses it by accident?
Freud: “There are no accidents”.
C’mon, you of all people should know that.
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