# How can I get over my phobia of.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 14, 2004, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158 "2004-02-14T03:41:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![King\_Friday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@King\_Friday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Friday)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/1 "2004-02-14T03:41:51Z")
…taking a piss next to another guy at the urinals? No matter how bad I need to go, it just won’t happen unless I’m alone. Those big ol’ troughs are off limits as far as I’m concerned. I’m definately a stall man. ---
**Author:** ![Shepherdless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85f322/32.png) [@Shepherdless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shepherdless)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/2 "2004-02-14T03:55:44Z")
Sounds like you have a case of [Bashful Bladder](http://www.restrooms.org/page02r.html), also known as [paruresis](http://www.paruresis.org/). It’s fairly common. Personally, I can’t do #2 when someone is in the stall next to me, but urinals are not a problem, unless they’re too close. ---
**Author:** ![Starguard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Starguard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starguard)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/3 "2004-02-14T05:51:11Z")
I hear you man. I had the same problem in the Army with taking showers with other men…Believe me buddy, that had to be one of the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life…Showering with women, now THATS another story altogether 😃 ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/4 "2004-02-14T09:11:11Z")
Well obviously if you are trying to take a leak right next to a guy, you’re violating the male rules of bathroom etiquette. Here, this might help: [http://www.jokes2000.com/jokes/files/joke9669.htm](http://www.jokes2000.com/jokes/files/joke9669.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/5 "2004-02-14T15:30:33Z")
I’m ok with urinating in the presence of other men, but I loathe having to have a bowel movement if anyone else is around. I would rather hold it if I can and wait for the restroom to be empty. If I absolutely can’t wait, I go to ridiculous effort to not make any noise. And if the guy in the stall next to me grunts, farts and splashes, I turn green. (Hey, we need a queasy-faced smiley!) ---
**Author:** ![Toddly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@Toddly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toddly)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/6 "2004-02-14T16:14:36Z")
I never knew they had a name for this, you learn something everyday. It always helped me when I had this problem to take long deep breaths which allowed me to relax and calm myself. ---
**Author:** ![seaworthy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@seaworthy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seaworthy)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/7 "2004-02-14T16:17:07Z")
hey I’m a chick so I know nothing about pissing next to a person at a urinal. But I can pee standing up, and once my aim gets better, I plan on using the urinals in guys’ bathrooms just for fun. But anyhow, what you have to do to get over your performance anxiety (whether poo or pee related) is come up with a mantra, preferably one that’s funny, that you repeat (to yourself) while at the urinal or in the stall to relax. A good one for pooping is “boy, that smells good” and maybe something like, “hello, I’m ron jeremy” will work at the urinals. But you relax and do your business without getting all uptight and worrying about the other people. That’s how I was finally able to poop in public. So now I can take a nasty dump and leave the bathroom with a grin on my face. ---
**Author:** ![talking\_head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a8b319/32.png) [@talking\_head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/talking_head)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/8 "2004-02-14T16:36:47Z")
I’m a female also and I’d love to hear how you pee standing up. Too funny. I wish to do that-the ladies room wouldn’t always be so crowded if we had that ability. King, using the bathroom is as unavoidable as death and taxes. We all have that in common and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’re all human so we eat and drink and the end product is a trip to the bathroom. Next time you’re at a urinal, think about the guy beside you-even more self conscious and trying to hide his tiny, pathetic little package. That should give you a chuckle. We all have these bodily functions. Just a thought. Were you raised Catholic? Full of modesty, shame, guilt and all such rot. I remember hearing from my brother years ago that he and his buddies had the same problem. In fact, when I was small, I thought that priests and nuns were one step above having to take a good healthy shit! LOL and good luck to you! ---
**Author:** ![seaworthy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@seaworthy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seaworthy)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/9 "2004-02-14T16:46:47Z")
> [@talking head](#): > > I’m a female also and I’d love to hear how you pee standing up. Too funny. I wish to do that-the ladies room wouldn’t always be so crowded if we had that ability. I’ll try and explain it without being vulgar. Basically, stand in front of the toilet with your feet about shoulder width apart. With the heel of your hand on the mons pubis, grab a hold and gently lift up. Then pee. The aim’s the hard part, though. I still do it all over the floor. ---
**Author:** ![talking\_head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a8b319/32.png) [@talking\_head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/talking_head)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/10 "2004-02-14T16:56:57Z")
Thanks seaaworthy. I’m laughing so hard at the image you painted in my mind that if I were a bladder compromised person, I’d be soaking wet! Imagine the possibilties this could have. No offense guys, but it would just give them a new reason to talk about the female and her quest to achieve equality (we will never achieve equality until we can walk down the street bald, with a huge gut and still feel sexy). Just a joke guys. I heard that somewhere and had to laugh. ---
**Author:** ![talking\_head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a8b319/32.png) [@talking\_head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/talking_head)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/11 "2004-02-14T17:02:13Z")
Oh, and King Friday, picture the women of the world attempting this one the next time you find yourself in an uncomfortable position before the giant porcelain wall god. It should bring enough humor to help get over your problem. (I always have an afterthough after I push that submit reply button). ---
**Author:** ![seaworthy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@seaworthy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seaworthy)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/12 "2004-02-14T17:04:53Z")
Let me assure you that having a bit of anxiety about urinating next to another man is nothing compared to pissing all over your favorite shoes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pcroughn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/977dab/32.png) [@pcroughn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pcroughn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/13 "2004-02-14T23:41:14Z")
Originally posted by\*\* Starguard\*\*: > [@](#): > > I hear you man. I had the same problem in the Army with taking showers with other men… Dude, you used to pee in the army showers? Originally posted by seaworthy: > [@](#): > > The aim’s the hard part, though. I still do it all over the floor. Don’t sweat it. So do we. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/14 "2004-02-15T00:01:33Z")
> [@Starguard](#): > > I hear you man. I had the same problem in the Army with taking showers with other men…Believe me buddy, that had to be one of the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life…Showering with women, now THATS another story altogether 😃 Gah, you think taking showers with other men is bad? I, too, suffer from bashful bladder, or as we called it in the Navy, stage fright. Now, consider the problems this causes with mandatory urinalysis screening. Once a month for over two years I had to try to piss while the MAA was looking over my shoulder to make sure I didn’t play any hanky-panky with my urine. And I could not piss until I had built up enough hydrostatic pressure to cause intense pain. I learned things like the beverages aboard ship which had the highest osmotic content, to better fill the bladder, and to never, EVER, go to the bathroom before quarters, so that if we got called for the ‘random’ drug screening I’d not have to study all day for another whiz quiz. I feel for you, I really do. But, as far as I know, there is no real solution. I suspect if you worked on it daily you may be able to train yourself out of it… but that’s going to be hard to do. My advice is to simply grin and bear it. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/15 "2004-02-15T00:08:01Z")
[QUOTE=seaworthy] hey I’m a chick so I know nothing about pissing next to a person at a urinal. But I can pee standing up, and once my aim gets better, I plan on using the urinals in guys’ bathrooms just for fun. QUOTE] Why wait to use the guy’s urinals? [I never knew such things existed…](http://www.urinal.net/archive/Womens.html) ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/16 "2004-02-15T00:19:32Z")
> [@King Friday](#): > > …taking a piss next to another guy at the urinals? No matter how bad I need to go, it just won’t happen unless I’m alone. Those big ol’ troughs are off limits as far as I’m concerned. I’m definately a stall man. In a loud, confident voice, announce to the world, “I _do_ believe in Tinkerbell!” I’ve heard that relaxation exercises are supposed to work, though I haven’t had success. If there is a constant flow of people but no lines at the urinals, then it might help to realize that no individual guy knows that you’ve been standing there for very long, too uptight to pee. That sometimes helps me. ---
**Author:** ![Paradoxical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Paradoxical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paradoxical)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/17 "2004-02-15T00:56:36Z")
> [@talking head](#): > > Thanks seaaworthy. I’m laughing so hard at the image you painted in my mind that if I were a bladder compromised person, I’d be soaking wet! Imagine the possibilties this could have. No offense guys, but it would just give them a new reason to talk about the female and her quest to achieve equality (we will never achieve equality until we can walk down the street bald, with a huge gut and still feel sexy). Just a joke guys. I heard that somewhere and had to laugh. Ummmm…I don’t think fat, bald guys feel sexy…and when have you ever seen a very good looking women with them? ---
**Author:** ![boofy\_bloke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@boofy\_bloke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boofy_bloke)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/18 "2004-02-15T02:30:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Ummmm…I don’t think fat, bald guys feel sexy…and when have you ever seen a very good looking women with them? _NYPD Blue:_ Sipowicz and that blonde detective… ewww! ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/19 "2004-02-15T05:29:26Z")
> [@King Friday](#): > > …taking a piss next to another guy at the urinals? No matter how bad I need to go, it just won’t happen unless I’m alone. Those big ol’ troughs are off limits as far as I’m concerned. I’m definately a stall man. Here’s a little trick which works for some pee-shy men: When you’re trying to piss, recite a simple multiplication table in your head: 1 x 14, 2 x 14 = 28, 3 x 14 = 42, 4 x 14 = 56, 5 x 14 = 70, … It’s very hard to pee when you’re stressed about the presence of other men; just trying forcing yourself to release won’t work. However, the tiny amount of concentration required to recite multiplication will distract you from this stress–and even a momentary distraction should be enough to start pissing. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![pcroughn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/977dab/32.png) [@pcroughn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pcroughn)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158/20 "2004-02-15T05:48:26Z")
Wait, you didn’t say whay 1x14 was. And I really hafta go! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-over-my-phobia-of/229158.md?page=2)