# How can I get rid of my breasts? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 24, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616 "2001-01-24T21:03:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/1 "2001-01-24T21:03:06Z")
My school is having some stupid spirit week thing this week, and tomorow is oppposite day (you’re supposed to dress as the opposite sex). I am fine from the waist down, but I have a bit of a problem on top. I’m trying to think of ways to minimize the look of it, but I’m coming up blank. Anyone help me? ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/2 "2001-01-24T21:09:54Z")
Maybe you could make yourself into a fat guy with a big belly. Might help to conceal them if they’re not too huge. Why not send me a pic of them so I can come up with some better ideas? 😉 😃 [sub]It’s a joke. Don’t sue me for sexual harassment.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/3 "2001-01-24T21:10:05Z")
Well, I can think of two options. One, bind 'em up. (Not the most fun option) Two, go heavy. If you wear baggy clothes, add a little waist padding, it can come off as a heavier guy rather than an obvious woman! Or, you could always go as a cross-dressing guy! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![wyldelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@wyldelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wyldelf)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/4 "2001-01-24T21:11:44Z")
Accentuate everything you own dahling 😉 Pack on the makeup, add some incredibly high heels etc etc After all - if you dress as a transvestite you are still dressing as a male (just one dressing as a female) and you don’t have to hide anything!!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Thief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cab0a1/32.png) [@The\_Thief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Thief)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/5 "2001-01-24T21:12:11Z")
Let me be the judge of that. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/6 "2001-01-24T22:00:21Z")
Hypergirl, if you bring them over here, I’ll hold on to them for you 😉 For long term reduction, I recommend weightlifting. ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/7 "2001-01-24T22:39:26Z")
Xizor- Weightlifting works? Really? Like bench presses? I wouldn’t mind a long-term reduction. I dressed up like Robert Smith once on Halloween and it was pretty easy because he’ a bit androgynous anyway- I just wore a sports bra and a very large white button-down short that went almost to my knees. I know that dressing up as Robert Smith is lame, but this was a very lame school and I won a prize, so it must have worked. ---
**Author:** ![Clucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@Clucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clucky)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/8 "2001-01-24T22:43:08Z")
(I’m just wondering how many people are like me … they looked at this, pondered a rude, sexist comment, then thought better of soiling an innocent thread from a school girl.) Um, I have no real advice. ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/9 "2001-01-24T22:54:29Z")
Innocent thread from a school girl?? I’m about the farthest thing from innocent that there is. Anyways, as for binding, I don’t really know how. I don’t really want to be fat and icky. I was thinking of going as a stud guy. Boxers hanging out of baggy pants, etc. I do like the transvestite idea, but all of my male friends are being transvestites too. I guess I’ll just have to wear a very baggy shirt. Sometimes I envy flat chested girls… But then I realize that I love my tits. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/10 "2001-01-24T23:01:48Z")
Remove them, pack them gently in a mammogram addressed to yourself, and mail’em. They’ll be out of the way, and once your soiree is over, you can reattach them. See? And you thought you had a problem! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/11 "2001-01-24T23:06:19Z")
Well, you can be a very unconvincing guy… ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/12 "2001-01-24T23:11:52Z")
Well, since a double mastectomy is not an option, how about a minimizer? You could wear one of those and a sports bra and probably take two inches off your bustline. Just MO, not having actual breasts that get in the way of much of anything. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/13 "2001-01-24T23:15:11Z")
I’d be willing to try to suck and lick them off… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/14 "2001-01-24T23:26:29Z")
To do the binding, you’ll need a few Ace bandages and a good friend to help wrap you up. (You don’t remember the scene from _Shakespeare In Love_ when he unwraps Gwenyth? That’s the kind of binding you’ll need). Best start with a comfortable sports bra, and start wrapping from under the breasts, working your way up. It’s not the most comfortable thing, but it’s the only “easy” way to do it. You could also get a 16th to 17th C. style corset, since they pushed down the breasts, also. The only problem with them (other than availability) is that if you lie down, you’ll be like a turtle on its back, since they also squish your abdominal muscles. I speak from experience on this one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/15 "2001-01-24T23:26:47Z")
Down, chief. Down. Good boy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/16 "2001-01-24T23:27:51Z")
Binding is no fun. I’ve done it before. This is how I did it: Wear a sports bra that’s too tight. Over it, put one that fits reasonably well. Then use an Ace bandage (you’ll need several, to be honest, and you’ll need to get a friend to do this part for you.) to wrap yourself. You want to bind from right under your armpits to about 3/4 of the way down your ribcage. Make it snug, but not too tight. You want to be able to breathe and circulate well. Once that’s done, put a form-fitting shirt on. Make sure you wear clothes that are relatively baggy. Oh, and watch out for lumps. If you want to go really hard core and have the cash to kill, wrap yourself with duct tape after putting on the bandage. That way you won’t have to worry about slippage, but you will have to cut yourself out… I don’t recommend it unless you’re really worried about the bandages coming lose. And not on your skin… yeowch. (I only did the duct tape when I was a man in a play, and I had to run around a lot. It wasn’t much fun.) Happy cross dressing. Next week, our lecture will be on the proper way to pack… ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/17 "2001-01-24T23:30:29Z")
I think I remember hearing about certain charities that take donations of used breasts and hand them out to needy women. Oh no, wait. That was cel phones. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![BickByro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@BickByro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BickByro)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/18 "2001-01-24T23:37:29Z")
i believe Carrie Fisher used the duct-tape method in the first Star Wars, in which George Lucas wanted to play up the “pristine princess” image by playing down Fisher’s boobage. Two movies later, of course, it was all out the window. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/19 "2001-01-24T23:48:39Z")
Um . . . if you check out the scene right after the trash compactor, Princess Leia is jiggling all over the place. I don’t think she or her girls ever saw any duct tape. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616/20 "2001-01-25T00:15:11Z")
I’d refuse to participate. This has to be one of the stupidest ideas I have heard recently. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-get-rid-of-my-breasts/51616.md?page=2)