# How can I have a crush on someone I don't really know?!? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2000, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422 "2000-07-30T07:56:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/21 "2000-07-30T21:16:07Z")
Well, I have a crush on two fellow Dopers. I wonder if they know who they are? Anyway, a picture doesn’t matter because you don’t need to know what a person looks like to appreciate the way the person speaks, thinks, and acts. Aren’t crushes fun? ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/22 "2000-07-30T21:21:52Z")
I have a crush on several Dopers. And what’s more, they all know about it. Only one of them’s gonna be gettin’ any action, though! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/23 "2000-07-30T21:26:08Z")
Hello =Power of Words. Nice to meet you. Oh? So you’re the one responsible for all of this? WHAM! Take that! Err, actually, I kinda like you…care for a date? - And that’s how I met Power of Words… \* 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/24 "2000-07-30T23:42:12Z")
I bet its Byzantine… She is awesome. She makes me wonder about my sexual orientation… Yup, it must be Byz. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/25 "2000-07-31T00:47:39Z")
> [@](#): > > I have a crush on several Dopers. And what’s more, they all know about it. > > Only one of them’s gonna be gettin’ any action, though! I’m flattered, Drainy, but what’s that guy you’re marrying going to say? ---
**Author:** ![BarnStormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f8ce5/32.png) [@BarnStormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnStormer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/26 "2000-07-31T00:50:55Z")
I thought that was the main kind of crush. If you know them, it becomes puppy love. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/27 "2000-07-31T03:04:33Z")
So this person is eminently crushable, without a picture posted. Hmmm, sounds like me. Ladies, and gentlemen, I regret that I am taken! ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/28 "2000-07-31T03:23:09Z")
You are not alone evilbeth…and that’s all I have to say about online-crushes-that-can’t-possibly-ever-go-anywhere-but-are-fun-to-daydream-about. 😉 Rose ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/29 "2000-07-31T03:49:25Z")
It’s funny about crushes. You can never have too many. Now, I do happen to like one person, and it’s beyond a crush. I’ve been good friends with this guy for a couple years so it’s not like I don’t know him. But then at the same time I’ve developed many crushes, online and offline. Heck, Ren Faire alone caused me to have at least 3-4 crushes that will probably go away within next week (must have been those hats and fake European accents! lol). And as for online…I can’t _coughreddragoncough_ tell anyone. It’s _extremely_ confidential!!! ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/30 "2000-07-31T05:01:01Z")
**DRY** –Go ahead and start your threads! It really isn’t that hard to figure out! **Milo** –Of course you’re not my _secret_ crush! I make no secret of how I feel about you, big boy! **MadHatter** –Yes, he is! Thanks, everyone for assuring me that I’m not a weirdo. (Although, handy’s post makes me feel like one anyway!) This “crush” is different from other crush-like feelings I have about people on the board. It’s very strange. ---
**Author:** ![Edlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8797f3/32.png) [@Edlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edlyn)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/31 "2000-07-31T05:20:13Z")
I remember a time when I thought I’d never meet Libertarian and even if I did… Well, life is full of surprises. My relationship with Lib didn’t start with a “massive crush”, but as friends. Obviously, that changed. 😃 My cousin also met her husband online. ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/32 "2000-07-31T06:11:18Z")
**evilbeth** , I just think it is very cool that someone’s personality can come across in the few words that are splashed on the page here in the SDMB. Let alone, that personality may be attractive enough to another as to elicit daydreams and crushes. I know that early on at this board there was another poster who had the same background and interests as I, and I can safely say I developed a crush on her. Then I saw her pic and the fact she is very beautiful only made me daydream more. Knowing that this is all just cyber interaction and that nothing will ever come of it - thats o.k. Fantasies are perfectly normal and IMHO good for the soul. BTW yep - I am pretty sure the “she” in my story knows who she is . . . I wasn’t very mysterious about it. 😃 Now then **beth** , who is it ? My curiosity has been aroused ! **I must know !!!** - **NM** ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/33 "2000-07-31T06:24:00Z")
I have seen a few of these crushes turn into the real thing, a couple of ladies we know at our forum met their significant others through the net and are happy as can be. I know a lady at work who married her cyber honey recently. Beth, I assume you know a fair bit about this person and might have discussed things with him/her. Just because you haven’t seen this person in the flesh doesn’t mean that you won’t. You like the inner person without knowing what they look like, what’s wrong with that? Are you really evil? ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/34 "2000-07-31T07:39:44Z")
I’ve kinda stayed out of the crush threads to this point because I don’t think I could say I have a “serious” (MAJOR) crush on anyone here. Now to use the word “crush” in a more light hearted sense, I suppose I have a few crushes on other SD members. As a select few have the combination of good looks and writing styles which I really adore. I’d love to reveal them, but I’m kinda shy in that regard. 😉 Evilbeth, does this person know you like him/ have a crush on him? Or have you just kept it to yourself? ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/35 "2000-07-31T07:45:15Z")
No, I have not told this person and I probably won’t. I would hate to have to feel awkward about posting in threads with this person, thinking that maybe something could be read into what I wrote, etc. Yes, I am really evil. When I need to be… ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/36 "2000-07-31T17:25:00Z")
I too have online crushes. However, mine are also kept a secret _coughwelfycoughcough_ ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/37 "2000-07-31T17:30:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by red\_dragon60 \* > \*\*I too have online crushes. However, mine are also kept a secret _coughwelfycoughcough_ \*\* Hey guy, don’t look now, but your crush is showing… ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/38 "2000-07-31T17:43:54Z")
Heck, I think this is normal. I’ve had that experience before when someone writes something and it’s just so powerful to me (either because it hits my funnybone perfectly, or demonstrates a command of language I’d kill to have, or expresses a feeling I’ve shared but can’t put into words, or just seems to take the words out of my mouth). I feel like I just want to crawl through the computer and holler “I WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER!” It feels like I’ve been given a brief glimspe of someone who might be a soulmate (male or female, romantic or otherwise) and I feel like they’ll slip away and will be forever lost to me if I don’t act. But I can’t act. How do you say that artfully? How do you post your admiration to thread? How do you not sound like a stalker. So all that’s left is those goofy, borderline-obessesive, frustrated, thinking-about-them-in-off-times moments. That’s how it works for me. It’s happened here, and when reading Salon magazine, and sometimes even when reading epinions. I have a girlfriend who said it happened to her reading [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) book reviews. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/39 "2000-07-31T17:52:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by evilbeth \* > **–do these things go away? I don’t really have any intention of meeting this person–although I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I just enjoy reading the posts by and thinking about this person. Is this just a passing infatuation thing or am I just a complete weirdo?** Do these things go away? Ha! Of course. All infatuation is passing. All love is fleeting. Every human who inspires you for a moment will disappoint you. One day, you will make yourself ill with just the thought that you harbored some respect for this person. The nature of any attraction is base and worthless. Once your body stops reacting and convincing you that there is such a thing as love, you will be left feeling empty and betrayed. You may go on fooling yourself for years, but the betrayal is inevitable. Why? Because people suck. Have a nice day. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422/40 "2000-07-31T18:17:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Heck, I think this is normal. I’ve had that experience before when someone writes something and it’s just so powerful to me (either because it hits my funnybone perfectly, or demonstrates a command of language I’d kill to have, or expresses a feeling I’ve shared but can’t put into words, or just seems to take the words out of my mouth). I feel like I just want to crawl through the computer and holler “I WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER!” It feels like I’ve been given a brief glimspe of someone who might be a soulmate (male or female, romantic or otherwise) and I feel like they’ll slip away and will be forever lost to me if I don’t act. But I can’t act. How do you say that artfully? How do you post your admiration to thread? You don’t. You take it to e-mail, or IM. If anything, you’ll probably make a good friend. At best, you’ll find out that the person really IS your soulmate. I know I did. 🙂 Oh, and Milo? You’ll have to move out of the igloo first. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-have-a-crush-on-someone-i-dont-really-know/27422.md?page=3)