# How can I invest in atheism? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 22, 2014, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463 "2014-01-22T19:03:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/1 "2014-01-22T19:03:02Z")
I see it as the wave of the future in America, though to be sure it’s not racing toward us at breakneck speed. How can I make a buck off of it? How can I consider it as a long-term investment? ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/2 "2014-01-22T19:28:14Z")
Write some books then start a Church of Atheism, catering to Hollywood’s elite. Worked for L. Ron Hubbard. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/3 "2014-01-22T19:37:41Z")
Invest in golf courses. Find a way to short the stock of Chick-fil-a and Hobby Lobby. Become a [Pastafarian](http://www.venganza.org/) minister and collect donations. Start a mobile bible burning service. Declare 12/25/14 as the day of the pending rapture, and convince as many believers as you can to give you all their earthly possession on Christmas eve this year. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/4 "2014-01-22T19:41:47Z")
Write an atheist anthem and sell a million records. ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/5 "2014-01-22T20:21:14Z")
Lennon already did that. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/6 "2014-01-22T20:23:20Z")
> [@Grey](#): > > Lennon already did that. Lennon was a Pastafarian? I’m not sure whether to be amused by the OP’s cheek or disgusted once again that “something happening over there” translates to “hey - I can make a buck offa that.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/7 "2014-01-22T20:26:49Z")
Hey, folks, I don’t want to start a business and do _work_! This is America! Which reminds me … who can I sue? Unfortunately, though I was raised Catholic and went to one of their grade schools, I wasn’t sexually abused … Still, I can do as much work as hiring a lawyer. What rights have various religions deprived me of? I had to say the Pledge of Allegiance every day, including “under God” and I think that was pretty opressing. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/8 "2014-01-22T20:34:16Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Hey, folks, I don’t want to start a business and do _work_! This is America! > > Which reminds me … who can I sue? Unfortunately, though I was raised Catholic and went to one of their grade schools, I wasn’t sexually abused … > > Still, I can do as much work as hiring a lawyer. What rights have various religions deprived me of? I had to say the Pledge of Allegiance every day, including “under God” and I think that was pretty opressing. Catholic school, you say? No brainer. As your attorney, it’s clear to me why you have become an atheist: You have repressed those painful memories of Father Patrick fondling you and the church will pay handsomely. No need to pay me a retainer: I’ll work on contingency. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/9 "2014-01-22T20:45:54Z")
For a serious suggestion, the [Foundation Beyond Belief](http://foundationbeyondbelief.org/) supports secular charities; anything that improves positive exposure for atheism cannot but help. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/10 "2014-01-22T20:57:11Z")
Sell authentic “Russell’s Teapots ®” on EBay. ---
**Author:** ![randompattern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@randompattern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randompattern)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/11 "2014-01-22T21:07:48Z")
Get the Catholic church to pay you to spy on us, they’ve got tons of money. If nothing else you’ll learn the secret handshake. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/12 "2014-01-22T21:10:26Z")
Go on sci-fi or discovery channel and search for the IPU. ---
**Author:** ![randompattern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@randompattern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randompattern)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/13 "2014-01-22T21:12:37Z")
> [@simster](#): > > Go on sci-fi or discovery channel and search for the IPU. Gold Jerry gold! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/14 "2014-01-22T21:14:22Z")
Research communities where church attendance has fallen off, buy up underused church property cheaply, build liquor stores and casinos. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/15 "2014-01-22T21:36:29Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > For a serious suggestion, the [Foundation Beyond Belief](http://foundationbeyondbelief.org/) supports secular charities; anything that improves positive exposure for atheism cannot but help. Thank you for that link. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/16 "2014-01-22T22:40:26Z")
> [@randompattern](#): > > Get the Catholic church to pay you to spy on us… Which us are you? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/17 "2014-01-22T22:44:17Z")
It will work out for you. Have faith, my son. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/18 "2014-01-22T22:45:20Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > How can I make a buck off of it? Can’t be done. Atheism is a strictly non-prophet belief system. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2014, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/19 "2014-01-22T23:36:49Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Can’t be done. Atheism is a strictly non-prophet belief system. _\_ 😃 We need a Like button… ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463/20 "2014-01-23T00:56:25Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Write an atheist anthem and sell a million records. > [@Grey](#): > > Lennon already did that. OK, so write a GOOD atheist anthem. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-invest-in-atheism/679463.md?page=2)