# How can I make my pubes grow longer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2006, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334 "2006-12-08T14:00:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tabula\_Rasa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@Tabula\_Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabula_Rasa)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/21 "2006-12-08T15:45:49Z")
Get pregnant. That seems to make them grow longer. It will, of course, make it difficult to reach them for straightening, beadwork, or other arts and crafts. Tabby ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/22 "2006-12-08T15:47:49Z")
[QUOTE=Tabula Rasa] Get pregnant. That seems to make them grow longer. It will, of course, make it difficult to reach them for straightening, beadwork, or other arts and crafts. Tabby [/QUOTE] I can’t get pregnant - I’ve had a vasectomy. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/23 "2006-12-08T15:54:28Z")
If you cut a couple of inches off the end of your cock, your pubes will look longer. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/24 "2006-12-08T16:00:11Z")
**Winston** baby! See all those pubes collecting at your shower drain if you haven’t swept them away for some time? In all honesty you can try to grow them out, but after some time they all go the natural way. Thats what I believe anyways. And personally I’m not too shamed to admit that I’m a trimmer, doesn’t that look nice? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/25 "2006-12-08T16:07:53Z")
Look, it’s Troy Polamalu’s evil twin. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/26 "2006-12-08T20:14:32Z")
Lye. Lots and lots of natural lye. Just wet it down, pile it on and let it sit. Oh, and morphine. Don’t forget the morphine. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/27 "2006-12-08T20:21:22Z")
[QUOTE=Doctor Jackson] Lye. Lots and lots of natural lye. Just wet it down, pile it on and let it sit. Oh, and morphine. Don’t forget the morphine. [/QUOTE] I can’t find any lye. Will bacon fat do? And, uh, no morphine, either (but I’ve been drinking cough syrup all day - does that help?). ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/28 "2006-12-08T20:23:27Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] If you cut a couple of inches off the end of your cock, your pubes will look longer. [/QUOTE] You mean get circumcised? _Again_? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/29 "2006-12-08T20:23:21Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] If you cut a couple of inches off the end of your cock, your pubes will look longer. [/QUOTE] You mean get circomcised? _Again_? ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/30 "2006-12-08T20:27:26Z")
You could try a [hair transplant](http://www.hairtransplantnetwork.com/). I’m not sure how the procedure works, but perhaps you could take some hair from your head and transplant it in the places you desire. That, of course, assumes that you have hair on your head that is as long and as straight as you want it to be. If not, maybe you can worry about that first. I was going to recommend Rogaine, but given the thread on the most painful things people have done to their genitals, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/31 "2006-12-08T20:27:29Z")
Thanks. I now have a visual of you with straight, long blonde pubes. A pubic Ann Coulter, if you will. :eek: ☹ :mad: Now excuse me while I go bleach my brain. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/32 "2006-12-08T20:32:22Z")
You have to ask twice? Like all hairs on your body - the pubic follicle has a life cycle that’s quite limited and as a result the hair will only grow to a certain length. That’s why most people don’t have six inch long eye brow hairs and why some people can’t get the hair on their scalp to grow past their shoulders. Fake it and go with some extensions. Made from your own pubes. ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/33 "2006-12-08T21:30:39Z")
It’s merkin time. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/34 "2006-12-09T02:39:35Z")
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder like a Continential soldier? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/35 "2006-12-09T02:42:46Z")
Draw them down the inside of your thigh. ---
**Author:** ![Zany\_Zeolite\_Zipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4af34b/32.png) [@Zany\_Zeolite\_Zipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zany_Zeolite_Zipper)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/36 "2006-12-09T02:59:45Z")
Bake them in the oven; maybe they are like shrinky-dinks Put on wool socks and scuff your feet on a carpet. Or have vigorous sex with a sheep. On a carpet. That way all the static goes directly to the desired region Use a Swedish-Made Pube Enlarger, or spend some quality time with your shop-vac ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/37 "2006-12-09T03:01:02Z")
Check with Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill ( **ZZ TOP** ). Quasi ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/38 "2006-12-09T03:02:37Z")
Just make sure you affix some round spectacles to your Johnson, about two thirds of the way up, to get the full John Lennon look. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/39 "2006-12-09T03:07:32Z")
I would suggest an appropriate style like [cornrows.](http://www.hairbraids.co.uk/images/Cornrows%203.JPG) If you can find a place that will do it, it can probably be done in just a couple of hours. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/40 "2006-12-09T03:37:43Z")
Nitrogen heavy Miracle Grow. Atleast that’s what I use… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334.md?page=3)