# How can I make my pubes grow longer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2006, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334 "2006-12-08T14:00:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/41 "2006-12-09T05:22:58Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] You know, they stay short and kinda curley. I’d prefer them long and straight. [/QUOTE] I don’t think anything but genetics will do the trick long term. There _are_ other non-asians whose pubic hair is and has always been straight, right? I suppose I could have added it to the list in the “what makes you unique” thread… However, I’ve been informed by two guys who conveyed their dismay over it, that if you dye your pubic hair, it will fall out. No, I didn’t ask why or what colors they were aiming for. Maybe if you make them fall out, they’ll grow back differently. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/42 "2006-12-09T05:47:23Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] You mean get circumcised? _Again_? [/QUOTE] Ah, it’s a 1920s style Pecker Wrecker. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/43 "2006-12-09T06:14:09Z")
There is a reason they’re called “short and curlies” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/44 "2006-12-09T07:22:03Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] There is a reason they’re called “short and curlies” 😃 [/QUOTE] I had no idea they _were_ called that until I googled it just now. I thought you just knew **Winston Smith** personally or something. [Caught by the short and curlies](http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/88250.html) > [@](#): > > **Meaning** > > Held fast by an opponent, in a position one can’t easily escape from. > > **Origin** > > The allusion is to being held by the short and curly pubic hairs. This originated as military slang and is first recorded in Eric Partridge’s A dictionary of forces’ slang 1939–45, published 1948: > > ``` > "Short and curlies, the short hairs, in the phrase 'He got me by the short and curlies' - he caught me out properly." > > ``` > > ‘Caught by the short hairs’ is a more recent alternative. So are you saying that **Winston Smith** is caught by the short hairs? ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/45 "2006-12-09T08:40:56Z")
You could try [Afrosheen](http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=5199). ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/46 "2006-12-09T13:38:05Z")
I think the cough syrup might explain this. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/47 "2006-12-09T14:04:19Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] If you tried a straightening iron, you might crimp something unintentionally. \ [/QUOTE] This sounds like the talk of painful experience. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/48 "2006-12-09T14:17:30Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] I can’t find any lye. [/QUOTE] Heck, that’s no problem, Winston. You can [make your own lye from wood ash](http://journeytoforever.org/biodiesel_ashlye.html). Now the important thing is you want to slather the lye on really thickly, over your entire genital region. That’s really the only way to make sure all the out-of-the way hairs get the treatment. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2006, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/49 "2006-12-09T15:26:15Z")
And the winner for the best joke of the thread is … [QUOTE=Mangetout] If you cut a couple of inches off the end of your cock, your pubes will look longer. [/QUOTE] But, seriously, it’s a little known scientific fact that masturbation retards pubic hair growth. If you can refrain from masturbating for a least six months, you should mave a bush that looks like a '60s afro. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2006, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/50 "2006-12-10T01:23:42Z")
My high school girlfriend had naturally curly hair (on her head.) For some reason, she wanted straight hair, so she used a straightening formula on her hair. The stuff looked just like semen. For ten minutes, she looked like twenty guys had come in her hair. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2006, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/51 "2006-12-10T01:45:23Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] My high school girlfriend had naturally curly hair (on her head.) For some reason, she wanted straight hair, so she used a straightening formula on her hair. The stuff looked just like semen. For ten minutes, she looked like twenty guys had come in her hair. [/QUOTE] Was that a suggestion? ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2006, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/52 "2006-12-10T04:49:14Z")
I’m curious. Why would you want your pubic hair to be longer? None of my business, of course. Just asking. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/53 "2006-12-10T15:45:59Z")
[QUOTE=Scotticher] I’m curious. Why would you want your pubic hair to be longer? None of my business, of course. Just asking. [/QUOTE] I think my wife would dig it. ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/54 "2006-12-10T20:05:26Z")
Y’all mean we got this far into the thread, and no one’s asked for a cite yet? Damn. The hell with it, then–_I’ll_ fall on the sword… **Winston** , cite? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/55 "2006-12-10T20:33:33Z")
[QUOTE=Scotticher] I’m curious. Why would you want your pubic hair to be longer? None of my business, of course. Just asking. [/QUOTE] You DO realize that our own \*\*Winton Smith \*\*is a post-count padder of the most creative and ingenious sort, don’t you? I am not complaining here - I say it with fun and respect because I have enjoyed where many of the threads go. The one about mounting a rabble of people to go after monsters, or the need to hire evil henchmen - genius, I tell you! I am assuming that the whole pubic thing is another in this illustrious line… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/56 "2006-12-10T20:51:25Z")
[QUOTE=Regallag\_The\_Axe] Was that a suggestion? [/QUOTE] More of a subtle caution, **Reg**. If \*\*Winston Smith \*\*decides to go the chemical route, he’s going to have a memory lump of his unit surrounded by more semen than he could make in weeks of frenzied pumping. Every time he looks at his newly straightened pubes, he might remember that copious goopiousness. A guy makes his own choices, and it’s up to him. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/57 "2006-12-10T22:03:22Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] You DO realize that our own \*\*Winton Smith \*\*is a post-count padder of the most creative and ingenious sort, don’t you? I am not complaining here - I say it with fun and respect because I have enjoyed where many of the threads go. The one about mounting a rabble of people to go after monsters, or the need to hire evil henchmen - genius, I tell you! I am assuming that the whole pubic thing is another in this illustrious line… [/QUOTE] Nonsense. I’m quite serious about pube-lengthening. Money’s tight this Christmas, so the missus and I won’t be exchanging gifts (which is a customary expression of our belief system). In lieu of gifts, I thought perhaps I’d do something special for SmithWife. And I take umbrage at your ridiculous insinuation that my plan for World Domination is nothing but a petty attempt to “post pad” (whatever that means). As a matter of fact, there are plenty of folks here still on SmithCo payroll, and can attest to numerous nefarious deeds perpetrated for the express purpose of furthering my fiendish plans for world domination. You need to check your assumptions, is all I’m saying, friend. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/58 "2006-12-15T02:17:42Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] I think my wife would dig it. [/QUOTE] Oh, okay. Then best of luck to you. [sub]you could try buying those vitamin/herbal things they sell at the health food store that are supposed to help with hair growth. They mean the hair on your head, but I assume it would help with hair growth anywhere on your body. Just ask for something to encourage hair heath and growth.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334/59 "2006-12-15T02:35:28Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] You DO realize that our own \*\*Winton Smith \*\*is a post-count padder of the most creative and ingenious sort, don’t you? [/quote] No, I didn’t realize that. Nor do I care. The man asked a non-offensive [sub]to me[/sub] question, I asked for clarification and he gave it to me. He seems okay to me. > [@](#): > > I am not complaining here - I say it with fun and respect because I have enjoyed where many of the threads go. The one about mounting a rabble of people to go after monsters, or the need to hire evil henchmen - genius, I tell you! That sounds fun. Care to link me to it? > [@](#): > > I am assuming that the whole pubic thing is another in this illustrious line… It doesn’t look that way to me. Not that I am all that good a judge of who is what around here. I’m not. He could be a sock, he could be “he who shall not be named”, he could be a “post padder” of immense proportions. He could be George Bush. [sub]of course, if it turned out that he was George Bush? I’d be humiliated that I engaged in civil conversation with him, but that is MY problem. 🙂 [/sub] The thing is? I read the thread because it sounded amusing. I have no problem with that, post padding or not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-my-pubes-grow-longer/383334.md?page=2)