# How can I make myself sterile without getting a vasectomy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 11, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818 "2004-06-11T15:04:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/1 "2004-06-11T15:04:19Z")
SmithWife is expecting our second child, and we’ve decided that two offspring is enough for us ( **ToddlerSmith** f.k.a. **BabySmith** will be 2 in a few weeks). We’ve got what we think are a few sound reasons for the closing of Smith Family Procreation… 1. We just think two is enough for us (not to disparage those with larger families) 2. We’re both 34, and our age certainly is a factor (again, just our opinion) 3. Due to my recent [Emergency Appendectomy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=258442), I’m in no hurry to go “under the knife” again. Any knife. 4. [Frozen Peas](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=260265) :eek: 5. The Pill makes SmithWife sick in all it’s many incarnations By the way, the Stars (and **SmithWife** ’s Doctors) indicate **FetusSmith** shall be a Man Child. Huzzah! So how 'bout it, fellow Dopers? Suggestions? Winston ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/2 "2004-06-11T15:05:52Z")
I don’t know of other ways for men, but there is a non-surgical but permanent method for women: [www.essure.com](http://www.essure.com). ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/3 "2004-06-11T15:58:43Z")
Well as far as making yourself infertile, there’s three options: vasectomy, castration, and some rather hard to get, _very_ expensive hormone injections they use for guys with prostate cancer. As far as birth control, there’s a whole world of other options besides the pill. There’s the patch, the ring, the various shots, and IUD’s, all of which are similar to or better than the pill for reliability. There’s also tubal ligation, which I believe is often done laparascopically and can be done while she’s still in the hospital post-delivery. Many women who can’t take the pill tolerate Nuvaring very well, and others do wonderfully on the minipill or other progestin-only methods. I can’t take the pill, either, so I wound up with a Mirena, and it’s the greatest thing _ever_. I haven’t had a menstrual cramp since July, and I haven’t had a period since August. The insertion was no picnic, but I love me some progestin. Love, love, love. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/4 "2004-06-11T15:59:44Z")
You can handle it. Bite the bullet and get the vasectomy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/5 "2004-06-11T16:09:22Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > \… castration…\\* :eek: :eek: :eek: ::runs screaming from thread:: \*pun intended ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/6 "2004-06-11T16:15:11Z")
Testicular Cancer? ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/7 "2004-06-11T16:16:15Z")
Makes those frozen peas look pretty damn good, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/8 "2004-06-11T16:25:43Z")
Would it be okay if, going forward, we refrain from using the words “bite” and “castration” in the same thread? Constant masturbation lowers your sperm count, I believe. It also makes you blind and makes your palms hairy, so you’ll have to take that into consideration. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/9 "2004-06-11T16:32:43Z")
You could wrap a rubber band really tight around your balls. Once they turn black, you won’t have to worry about unplanned pregnancy anymore! ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/10 "2004-06-11T16:34:54Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > You could wrap a rubber band really tight around your balls. Once they turn black, you won’t have to worry about unplanned pregnancy anymore! I started wearing _tighty whiteys_ aain. Does that count? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/11 "2004-06-11T16:36:31Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I started wearing _tighty whiteys_ aain. Does that count? That depends – what size are you wearing? For best results, figure out what size you are and divide that by two. ---
**Author:** ![haardvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@haardvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haardvark)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/12 "2004-06-11T16:36:47Z")
It is my understanding that a SEVERE case of Strep Throat will cause sterility in males. However, IANAD, NDIPOOT. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/13 "2004-06-11T17:08:33Z")
Stick a big hunk of plutonium down your pants. After a few weeks of that, you’ll be totally sterile. That, or your penis will go on to terrorize some small island nation in the Pacific. These things are never certain. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/14 "2004-06-11T17:17:47Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > That, or your penis will go on to terrorize some small island nation in the Pacific. Around here, we call that Spring Break. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/15 "2004-06-11T17:36:32Z")
soaking the ballsack in hot water can cause sterility [http://www.puzzlepiece.org/bcontrol/kiser1962.html](http://www.puzzlepiece.org/bcontrol/kiser1962.html) I remember seeing this on TV, when some guys did it their sperm were all mutated and retarded. so they were essentially sterile. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/16 "2004-06-11T17:37:46Z")
[http://www.gumption.org/mcip/paper.html#vas](http://www.gumption.org/mcip/paper.html#vas) Here is a list of other methods including the hot water method. ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/17 "2004-06-11T17:41:38Z")
[Seen this?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a960628.html) [quote] [ul] [li]Blunt trauma. Maybe a war wound a la Jake Barnes. You know, visit Bosnia or something. If you can’t afford the airfare, you could always get a hammer. [/li][li]Disease. You could try getting a disease that results in inflammation of the testes and scrotum, thereby causing sterility. You had the mumps? If that’s out, my pen pal Camilla cites Merck’s Medical Manual: “Epididymo-orchitis (inflammation of the epididymis and testis) may be a complication of urinary infection with prostatitis or urethritis, a sequela to gonorrhea, a complication of prostatic surgery or as a result of infection secondary to an indwelling catheter.” Enough to get you started.[/ul][/li][/quote] ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/18 "2004-06-11T17:46:42Z")
How about getting mumps? Doesn’t that usually work for adults? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/19 "2004-06-11T18:19:40Z")
1. Disable the safety latch that prevents you from turning on the microwave while it’s turned on. 2. Drop trou. 3. Open door, stand in front of said microwave, and fire that puppy up! If nothing else, it’ll probably make for a good “Ask the guy with nuked nads” thread. ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818/20 "2004-06-11T18:47:13Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > 1. Disable the safety latch that prevents you from turning on the microwave while it’s turned on. > > 2. Drop trou. > > 3. Open door, stand in front of said microwave, and fire that puppy up! and you might as well make some popcorn while you’re at it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-i-make-myself-sterile-without-getting-a-vasectomy/249818.md?page=2)