With a tennis ball?
Make sure the temp setting is on low!
I would imagine it would be fine if you rubbed a little cooking oil or Crisco into your hands and petted your kitty with that. This is perfectly safe for consumption if your kitty licks it off afterwards; I also believe that many baby lotions are non-toxic, but may taste nasty, therefore encouraging your cat not to groom itself. Also, Kama Sutra makes lotions, etc. specifically designed to be not only consumable, but tasty.
I remember a children’s cartoon I once watched after school in which a madman (who else?) was using a vast number of kittens with built-up static charges to power a death-ray of some sort.
How’s that for irony?
Ah, it’s a 1920’s style Pussy Death Ray.
I’m sure if you look hard enough you can find some exotic lotion but why bother when increasing the humidity in the house will alleviate the problem?
The static problem in winter arises because the house air has a very low relative humidity. The air outside is cold and therefore can’t hold much moisture. That air is then brought inside, heated up and the relative humidity drops drastically, and static charges build up on everything that moves
True, but I keep two humidifiers on and a pot of simmering water all winter and it’s still bloody dry in here. Chicago in the winter, what fun! We have electric cats as well. A little cooking oil certainly won’t hurt. Baby lotion is, as someone already said, edible. (Actually, most hand and body lotions are edible in the not-kill-you sense. They just don’t taste very good.) You don’t need very much goo to help de-static a kitten. My kitties get petrolium jelly on their paws once a month - when they lick it off, it cuts down on furballs. It also gives them nice shiny coats and cuts down on shocking encounters.
No doubt about it. When it’s 0 F outside even with 100% relative humidity the air can only hold .472 grains (which is a tad over .001 oz) of water per ft [sup]3[/sup]. When you bring it inside and warm it up to 70 F the relative humidity drops to just under 6% and that’s for outside air that is saturated with water vapor which doesn’t happen all that often. Unless it’s snowing, and even then the air at the surface might not be saturated.
So go ahead and use vasoline.
And I should have capitalized Vasoline since it’s a trade name. I sure don’t want SDMB to get a letter from their lawyer bawling us out.
Well, my copier’s anti-static additive is water and silicone oil. Is that safe for animal use?
Get yourself a Van de Graff generator and bring yourself to the same potential as the cat before you pick it up. Alternately, just throw a dryer sheet in the machine with the cat before you dry it.
Yes, but what is edible for humans isn’t necessarily edible for kitties. There was a post on this topic earlier. So, you should probably check with your vet before rubbing much of anything on your little static beastie. 
They don’t outgrow it. it’s not like they sweat electricity while they go through kitty puberty. I’ve got an ancient cat who sparks when you pet him. I hold his paw with one hand (making sure to contact his paw pad) and pet him with the other. Works on kittens too–but they’re more interested in making you let go of their paw than in getting petted.
What are the odds of a really fluffy cat igniting from static arcs?
But they do outgrow the dashing madly around because of the sparks.
Small. But don’t let an open container of gasoline, or ether or things like that sit around the house for a while or the pilot light go out and then pet the cat.
While I’ve never heard that silicone oil is directly toxic, it can’t be good for you, and you can bet your life it ain’t made to pharmaceutical specifications. Would you like to eat it? Don’t spray your cat with copier spray.
Ahhh. A little more ignorance fought: good job! Thanks.
My vet sellsCoat Conditioners to de-static kittens and puppies.
The Energizer Kitty!!
It keeps biting and scratching and pooping and peeing and crying and freaking out and farting and biting and scratching …
Just touch it to spark its interest and off she goes …
When I first started reading this, it read like a soft porn novel.
Sounds like my last date.
The question is is how do you get your cat to go in the paper tray of your copy machine?