# How can you assassinate a tree? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 5, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934 "2007-05-05T22:59:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/21 "2007-05-06T10:12:29Z")
I have some suggestions but first: what sort of tree is it? ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/22 "2007-05-06T13:39:35Z")
Cut the tree down to a stump. Drill a couple of holes vertically into the stump using a large diameter drill bit. Fill those holes with gunpowder. Stick a fuse into the holes and twist the fuses together. Very carefully and from a considerable distance light the main fuse. Rake the smoldering mulch into a pile to be used in other areas of your landscaping (the area the mulch covers may extend up to a half mile or so depending on the amount of gunpowder you use, wind conditions, obstacles such as neighbors homes cars, etc.) Keep in mind this is dangerous, messy, loud and almost guaranteed to be illegal. Especially because you live in California. This is also a bad idea if the plant turns out to be some type of poison ivy, sumac, oak, etc. Also keep in mind that I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, and I’m a bad influence on other people, children, pets, marine life, and a wide assortment of bacteria and fungi. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/23 "2007-05-06T15:32:02Z")
[QUOTE=Madd Maxx] Keep in mind this is dangerous, messy, loud and almost guaranteed to be illegal. Especially because you live in California. This is also a bad idea if the plant turns out to be some type of poison ivy, sumac, oak, etc. Also keep in mind that I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, and I’m a bad influence on other people, children, pets, marine life, and a wide assortment of bacteria and fungi. [/QUOTE] But on the upside, it could be a lot of fun and make a great YouTube video! To say nothing of the increase in income for local attorneys. ---
**Author:** ![Skott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Skott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skott)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/24 "2007-05-06T20:09:53Z")
[QUOTE=Princhester] I have some suggestions but first: what sort of tree is it? [/QUOTE] I’m afraid I have no idea. I’d take a picture of it, but I won’t have my camera for a few days. I’m in Sonoma County (CA), it grows fast and reproduces like crazy. IIRC, its berries are like small, shiney, dark blueberries. It may have a single trunk, but after a short distance above ground, it usually has smaller smaller ones, each perhaps a few inches in diameter. I’m pretty sure it’s evergreen. I can’t say much as to its spread or height, since I keep them very trimmed, else they get unmanagable. My plumber says it’s now illegial to plant them, but I’m not sure I regard him as a trusted informant :dubious: That being said, I would like to “assassinate” it. I could chop it down and do things to the stump, and I have done this to several of them already. But I want to watch one whither and die. I like the idea of injecting bleach into the trunk, which sounds exactly like a tree assassination to me, but somehow I don’t think it would kill it completely. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/25 "2007-05-06T20:23:11Z")
[QUOTE=BrightNShiny] Aren’t there waste disposal laws for Bleach? I’d be surprised if this was legal anywhere near the coast in California. [/QUOTE] I would just like to point out that the only way Big Bear lake would be considered near the coast is if you are looking from Phoenix. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/26 "2007-05-06T20:37:22Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] I would just like to point out that the only way Big Bear lake would be considered near the coast is if you are looking from Phoenix. 😃 [/QUOTE] Yeah, I know, smart guy. It was the first law I found. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/27 "2007-05-06T21:22:25Z")
Hmmm…I brought up this same question in a thread last year and was warned not to do so ever again. Then they locked the thread. Interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/28 "2007-05-06T21:31:51Z")
[QUOTE=vivalostwages] Hmmm…I brought up this same question in a thread last year and was warned not to do so ever again. Then they locked the thread. Interesting. [/QUOTE] The thread title does ask for specific information on how to commit a violent act. However, that seemed to be fine back in the day when the same question was asked about rodents with old school German sympathies. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/29 "2007-05-06T21:36:08Z")
[QUOTE=vivalostwages] Hmmm…I brought up this same question in a thread last year and was warned not to do so ever again. Then they locked the thread. Interesting. [/QUOTE] Actually, it was August of 2005. Two years ago. **Xash** closed that thread. I only have emails archived on my current computer from a month _after_ that, so I can’t see what the complaint was, assuming there was one. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2007, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934/30 "2007-05-07T00:35:28Z")
[QUOTE=samclem] Actually, it was August of 2005. Two years ago. **Xash** closed that thread. I only have emails archived on my current computer from a month _after_ that, so I can’t see what the complaint was, assuming there was one. [/QUOTE] I was told not to start threads asking how to commit illegal acts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-assassinate-a-tree/402934.md?page=1)