# How can you do this to a child? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 30, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670 "2003-09-30T11:21:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/21 "2003-09-30T22:16:08Z")
Actually, the saddest part of this story is that there is no guarantee that the mother will actually lose custody over this. Welfare agencies in the US and Canada are notorious for retaining custody with the mother even in the face of obvious lack of concern for the child’s welfare. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/22 "2003-09-30T22:18:42Z")
Um, I should have added in my opinion, of course. ---
**Author:** ![TaxGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TaxGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaxGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/23 "2003-09-30T23:06:37Z")
In the spirit of “I laugh so that I do not cry,” here are two snarky responses. Take your pick: > [@](#): > > How can you do this to a child 1. It is against board policy to discuss how to engage in illegal activities. 2. It’s easy, really. You just close the door and don’t tell anyone, and the “child left alone for three weeks” action kinda takes care of itself. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/24 "2003-10-01T02:28:57Z")
I, too, am impressed by the survival skills of the child. Of course, now I’m curious what **misstee** was arrested for. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/25 "2003-10-01T04:58:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*originally posted by \ ***Rhum Runner** > In a lot of ways this situation isn’t even that bad, afterall the kid made it, and will probably not even remember in a year or so. You are wrong. She will have abandonment issues. She will freak out whenever her guardian leaves the room, much less the house. She may work through this particular effect of it in a month or a few months if she’s lucky and her caretaker is loving, protective and knows what he or she is doing. She may not work through this particular effect for years, or possibly not ever… even if her caretaker is loving, protective and knows what he or she is doing. She may not completely remember this in a few years, but she won’t really forget it. She’ll probably have nightmares. She’ll be scarred. Hell, I had a foster brother and sister who had abandonment issues for three years and their parents had only left them alone for a day at a time. Tiny children are only just learning how the world works and how things affect them. Something like this could very well screw her up for years. Hopefully, it won’t… but I really wouldn’t say she will “probably not remember it.” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/26 "2003-10-01T05:48:31Z")
Wow. I thought no human could exist for that long a period of time without the common sense and decency exhibited by houseplants and empty mason jars. What is even more frightening is that this human has reproduced. Evil kept to itself is one thing, but evil acted out on a child is far, far worse. **Rhum Runner** , you might do well to read the relevant portion of the description of the Pit: “If you gotta flame, do it here”. No mention of “But it has to be a controversial topic”. And one need not flame _in extremis_ to write a pit rant. the subject matter, for the most part, is what fulfills the “requirement”. Besides, for any vitriol the OP lacks, the subsequent responses are of the sort that a Pit thread of this sort will typically garner. And they are also the sort that most likely would not befit any other forum. YMMV, as always. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/27 "2003-10-01T05:57:51Z")
What is up with people just dropping by to judge other people’s rants? If it’s not worth your time to read, it sure as hell isn’t worth your time to post to, so don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out of the thread. For the love of Pete, just because someone pissed in your Cheerios this morning doesn’t mean you’re _required_ to share the wealth. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/28 "2003-10-01T10:20:27Z")
Baby is reported in good condition at the hospital. Yet another facet of this story that was on the news this morning. Apparently “Mom of the Year” :rolleyes: was having her nails done and something happened that led to her brandishing a box cutter and taking $200 from the salon. That’s why she was arrested. So, baby couldn’t be taken to the nail salon. Wonder where else baby couldn’t go? Wonder how many times baby was left to fend for herself? Her survival skills may have been well-developed of necessity. Another part of the news report focused on a local woman who wanted to “help” the baby - by going to an ultra-yuppie boutique to buy her $700 worth of cutesy outfits. While I don’t have a problem with her motives, I have to wonder at the execution. Those high-end appliqued dresses and jackets won’t fit 6 months from now. And at age 2, the child doesn’t care what she’s wearing. Couldn’t this generosity have been more effective and better executed if the clothes purchased were of more moderate cost? And maybe a few dollars to start a bank account? Or am I being too practical? It’s certainly not my place to tell anyone how to spend money. But if I’d had the means and the inclination, I’d have given the dad a handful of gift cards to a variety of stores so he could buy what his daughter needs as she needs it. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/29 "2003-10-01T10:59:16Z")
Slight hijack… I walked in from work this evening and my son started detailing this case to me. “Hey mum, did you hear about the little kid who was left alone in the house etc etc” “No dude, I haven’t heard. What happened?” “There was this little baby in America only two MONTHS old, and the mum got dragged away to prison, and the baby managed to feed herself and everything and isn’t that amazing?” “Um, dude, a two MONTH old baby can barely roll over, let alone get themselves to the fridge and the cupboard to feed themselves. Are you sure of your facts here mate?” “Oh for sure mum, that’s what they said on the news”. I watched the news report later, and got the REAL facts. The moral to THAT story is ‘Don’t believe everything you hear’. [end hijack] ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/30 "2003-10-01T12:31:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\* > Another part of the news report focused on a local woman who wanted to “help” the baby - by going to an ultra-yuppie boutique to buy her $700 worth of cutesy outfits. While I don’t have a problem with her motives, I have to wonder at the execution. Those high-end appliqued dresses and jackets won’t fit 6 months from now. And at age 2, the child doesn’t care what she’s wearing. Couldn’t this generosity have been more effective and better executed if the clothes purchased were of more moderate cost? And maybe a few dollars to start a bank account? > > \*\* Methinks the owner of the boutique wanted brownie points for helping out. Plus publicity for her shop. One question…how attentive is the father if he didn’t know where his daughter was for three weeks? I don’t know about you, but if I found out my SO was in jail and my children were at a neighbor’s, I would be out the door headed toward the neighbor’s within the hour. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/31 "2003-10-01T12:57:53Z")
The father and mother had separated. I believe he contacted her family when he didn’t hear from her, and they didn’t say anything. He finally called the jail and found out she was locked up. She told him neighbors were watching the baby, but she would say who. That’s when he went to the apartment complex and started banging on doors. Then he got the manager to let him into the mother’s apartment where the baby was found. Or so I have heard/read. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/32 "2003-10-01T13:59:36Z")
It doesn’t surprise me that a woman gets in an altercation at a nail salon and gets arrested. It doesn’t surprise me that this same woman abandons her own child. She may not be a hopeless cause, but she sounds like a candidate. It does surprise me that the Dept. of Corrections (or whatever they’ve got down in Florida) doesn’t take some sort of initiative to arrange for care of any possible dependent children/adults when imprisoning someone. A phone call / computer records check with DCFS, running the SSN of the arrested person? Surely the state of Florida doesn’t expect all its detainees to be the type of responsible people who would, say, be interested in looking after their kids. After all, these people are the types who are arrested for waving boxcutters in nail salons. It’s pretty clear they don’t have a clue, and when they’re female and of child-rearing years, I think it would make sense to check on the status of any possible kids. It’s just a phone call. Shouldn’t be necessary, but obviously it is. (Props to **Zenster** for the first use I’ve ever seen of “whore’s ovaries” actually meaning whore’s ovaries, not hors d’oeuvres. However, I’m not in favor of forced sterilization of anybody.) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/33 "2003-10-01T15:31:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\* She told him neighbors were watching the baby, but she would say who. \*\* I predict this will come back and bite her in her sorry ass. She knew her child was home alone, and deliberately lied to her husband about it. And unfortunately, **FCM** , I think you’re right. This was probably not the first time the baby had been left alone while Mommy went to go get her nails done, so she probably knew how to find the food. I heard on the radio that there was evidence the baby was trying to get into the canned food. The police found canned food with the labels ripped off, so they think she was trying to open them, since she didn’t know how to run a can opener. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/34 "2003-10-01T18:28:00Z")
I wonder if he would get custody if he wanted it? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/35 "2003-10-01T18:28:33Z")
I wonder if he would get custody if he wanted it? No, let’s keep her with her mother, after all she loves her so muuuuuuuuuch! ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/36 "2003-10-01T19:14:58Z")
I deliberately avoided this thread because I can’t stand child abuse stories, but my mom just told me about it over the phone. I have to agree that this poor baby probaby got left alone a lot. She sounds like she knows how to get food, turn on the tv, etc. But, I do wonder why no one heard her. I mean, wouldn’t she cry? Poor thing. I think any decent parent, or hell, even a lazy parent would think of their child first in a situation like that. If anything delayed me from picking up my daughter from school or from the sitter, I would be worried to death about getting to her. Stories like this just make me want to go get my girl and hug her. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/37 "2003-10-01T19:20:28Z")
What do you mean “if he wanted it”? He’s the child’s father. Seeing as how the mother is completely incapable of raising the child in a proper manner, the father needs to step in whether he “wants to” or not. Not so much directed at you **Ludovic** , it’s just that our society’s values re: fatherhood after divorce really chap my ass. As much as people complain about the courts favoring the mother in custody disputes, there still seems to be this pervasive assumption that fatherhood can be reduced to a monthly check and a handful of visits; only requiring more if that’s what the father _wants_. Screw what they want, they’ve got a kid. Take care of it, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/38 "2003-10-01T19:32:12Z")
According to the paper, her dad has gotten temporary custody. I don’t think the child will be living with mommy any time soon. She’s been released from the hospital, too. I need to remember to watch the news tonight. So, a nice happy ending… ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/39 "2003-10-01T19:36:01Z")
**masonite** , thanks for the props, but I’m sure you must realize that Florida has a ::cough:: _less than sterling track record_ ::cough:: when it comes to keeping track of kids. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670/40 "2003-10-01T20:38:36Z")
Speaking of which, this week was Rilya Wilson’s 7th birthday. They still don’t know where she is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-do-this-to-a-child/204670.md?page=3)