# How can you tell if there's sparks?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 21, 2001, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177 "2001-01-21T23:08:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/1 "2001-01-21T23:08:23Z")
A friend and I were recently discussing moving relationships beyond friendship, and how to tell if there’s more there. I told him one way I know is I use the “kiss test”… when I kiss someone, does my heart do flip flops and my stomach end up in my knees, or does it feel more like I’m kissing my brother?
So what I’m wondering is how other people know if you’re headed for love or staying on the path of friendship?
TruePisces
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### Author:  [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/2 "2001-01-21T23:12:10Z")
My plan is to make absolutly no move in any direction which might end up in me looking like a fool till we’re married.
I figure by then i should have it figured out.
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### Author:  [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/3 "2001-01-21T23:15:31Z")
If I cannot stand to be away from the person that I am with for any extended time, then I know that is true love. My wife and I have not been apart for more than 4 days since the day we met. For the record that was Dec. 21st 1998, and have been married for 10 months. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/4 "2001-01-21T23:19:13Z")
Not for nuttin’, **robgruver** , but that post/sig matchup just blew up my irony meter.
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/5 "2001-01-21T23:26:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TruePisces \*
> \*\*A friend and I were recently discussing moving relationships beyond friendship, and how to tell if there’s more there. I told him one way I know is I use the “kiss test”… when I kiss someone, does my heart do flip flops and my stomach end up in my knees, or does it feel more like I’m kissing my brother?
>
> So what I’m wondering is how other people know if you’re headed for love or staying on the path of friendship?
>
> TruePisces \*\*
What if I don’t have a brother I can kiss?
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### Author:  [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/6 "2001-01-21T23:27:26Z")
[hijack]
Eutychus: Exactlly. I like to keep people off guard. But to the point, I am a big fan of movies, so you will see it change quite often I am sure. That is until someone gives me a better sig.
[/hijack]
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/7 "2001-01-21T23:28:11Z")
Nice one, Euty!
When I’m away from the one I love for an extended period of time, I know it’s true love if I _know_ that when i get home, everything will be just as I left it.
Dishes piled in the sink, laundry piled in the basement, trash needing to be taken out, you know. He didn’t touch anything because he didn’t want to disturb it, because I must have left it that way for a reason, you know?
Sigh. Makes my heart feel good. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/8 "2001-01-21T23:31:25Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> \*\* What if I don’t have a brother I can kiss? \*\*
Hmmm. Never thought about that. Wanna borrow one of mine? 😃
TruePisces
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### Author:  [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/9 "2001-01-21T23:34:27Z")
Personally, I have had the stomach & heart flip~flops while kissing with people I didn’t particularly even LIKE, I just wanted to get them naked with me. So, for me anyhow, that has never been an indicator of anything other than sexual spark.
Love? I kind of like **Persephone’s** definition!
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### Author:  [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/10 "2001-01-21T23:43:09Z")
Being a guy,there are few women on the planet that don’t give me a rush.
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/11 "2001-01-21T23:49:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by handy \*
> \*\*
> Being a guy,there are few women on the planet that don’t give me a rush. \*\*
Yeah, but how do you know if it’s just sex, or something more? And what about when it’s an online relationship headed for something more?
Example: Been friends with someone online for years, like and respect said person. Finally get a chance to meet, start thinking “Wow! This could possibly be more than just a friendship!” How do you tell if it is, or if your hormones are just getting in the way??
TruePisces
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### Author:  [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2001, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/12 "2001-01-22T01:36:33Z")
Wish I knew, Fishy.
I just count myself lucky if I ever hear from them again after meeting for the first time. Sometimes it doesn’t even get that far.
But since you’re talking about an existing friendship, if you’re already wondering, then talk to the other person, see if they are too. Or ask more directly, with the kiss test. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2001, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/13 "2001-01-22T03:33:11Z")
For me, it’s always in the eye contact. If I really like someone, that’s fine and dandy, but if our eyes meet and I feel like I just got hid upside the head with a firecracker, than I usually consider making a move. And sometimes, if I get the firecracker thing (which is great by itself) combined with the extended eye-contact/stomach-feeling-like-it’s-floating feeling, then I know I need to make a move immediatly.
I’ve always believed that while you are going through and getting out of the initial discovery stage, if you find you have lots and lots to talk about, it’s a good sign that the relationship could survive. But if, once you get the sex stuff out of the way, you have absolutely nothing to discuss and you find yourself questioning the other’s hairtsyle, than maybe it isn’t going to last. And that’s basically the extent of my relationship knowledge.
Keep in mind that I’m 19, however, and woefully inexperianced with relationships (just three under my belt, neither made it past the six month mark.)
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### Author:  [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/14 "2001-01-22T17:07:53Z")
“Yeah, but how do you know if it’s just sex, or something more?”
There is no set answer for something like this. Ask a hundred people, get a hundred answers.
It’s much easier for me, I just let the woman decide that.
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### Author:  [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2001, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/15 "2001-01-22T17:46:43Z")
Yeah, somebody let me know when some sort of conclusion may be reached, because I was wondering the same thing myself.
I like the firecracker test.
I have a lot of male friends, but they don’t always make me feel fizzy just by hearing their voice, or by extended eye contact.
One of them does these things to me however, and I was wondering if…
Well, I have the same question. I’m sorry I can’t help you Fishy, but you’re certainly not alone.
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/16 "2001-01-22T21:10:11Z")
If you throw a lit firecracker at your friend, and your friend forgives you, it’s love.
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### Author:  [@Meephead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meephead)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2001, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/17 "2001-01-22T21:58:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> \*\*If you throw a lit firecracker at your friend, and your friend forgives you, it’s love. \*\*
On the other hand, my experience has shown that this approach could possibly blow it for you. 🙂
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/18 "2001-01-23T01:02:33Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Turpentine \*
> \*\* I have a lot of male friends, but they don’t always make me feel fizzy just by hearing their voice, or by extended eye contact.
>
> One of them does these things to me however, and I was wondering if…
> Well, I have the same question. I’m sorry I can’t help you Fishy, but you’re certainly not alone. \*\*
Well, it’s not exactly a current situation, more of a hypothetical-that-someday-might-not-be-but-I-want-to-know-the-score-just-in-case situations. I was kinda thinking about it when I got hit on by a couple different male online friends after my recent break-up, and started talking with another friend. The whole online aspect of it just brings it into a realm I’ve never dealt with before. And I’m not even talking real love her, but more the possibility of it.
Usually, it’s meet someone and “love at first site” or “good friends and then whammo!” You know that person, in some ways, a lot more intimately than your online pals. You either have the firecracker test or the kiss test or a variety of others (like the “Can I live without them?” question) But when you meet someone online, get to be good friends with them, THINK there could be something more, but don’t have the opportunity to meet… Well, it makes you wonder what happens when you DO, and if there IS, how do you KNOW that your hormones just aren’t in overdrive from all the new emotions of meeting a friend face to face?
Am I babbling? I think I am. I’ll shut up now.
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### Author:  [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/19 "2001-01-23T01:04:02Z")
Car door test: Lock both doors, unlock her door, see if she then unlocks your door, if she does, great.
Laundry test: Dry your clothes there at the laundromat. Find a pretty girl, drop a clean sock near her, see if she picks it up, if yes, great girl.
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/20 "2001-01-23T01:14:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Meephead \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> > \*\*If you throw a lit firecracker at your friend, and your friend forgives you, it’s love. \*\*
>
> On the other hand, my experience has shown that this approach could possibly blow it for you. 🙂 \*\*
But if you’re looking to BANG somebody, you’ve got to take some risks. 🙂 🙂
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