# How can you tell if there's sparks?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 21, 2001, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177 "2001-01-21T23:08:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/21 "2001-01-23T01:18:17Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Meephead \*
> > \*\*
> >
> > > [@](#):
> > >
> > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> > > \*\*If you throw a lit firecracker at your friend, and your friend forgives you, it’s love. \*\*
> >
> > On the other hand, my experience has shown that this approach could possibly blow it for you. 🙂 \*\*
>
> But if you’re looking to BANG somebody, you’ve got to take some risks. 🙂 🙂 \*\*
GROAN! GROWL! ARG!
_throws firecrackers at Snooooopy_
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### Author:  [@Meephead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meephead)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/22 "2001-01-23T01:22:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Meephead \*
> > \*\*
> >
> > > [@](#):
> > >
> > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> > > \*\*If you throw a lit firecracker at your friend, and your friend forgives you, it’s love. \*\*
> >
> > On the other hand, my experience has shown that this approach could possibly blow it for you. 🙂 \*\*
>
> But if you’re looking to BANG somebody, you’ve got to take some risks. 🙂 🙂 \*\*
…but what if it lead you to pop the question? 😃
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### Author:  [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/23 "2001-01-23T04:12:34Z")
But whatever you do, don’t just come out and proclaim your love. All that does is expose your neck. Please pardon my bitterness. I’ll try not to get any on you.
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### Author:  [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/24 "2001-01-23T04:46:58Z")
Oh Lordy, I am horrified at what I have spawned with the “firecracker” comment.
Keep it coming, Snoooopy.
He’ll be at the Laugh Room next week. You people have been great. Don’t ever change.
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/25 "2001-01-23T05:42:48Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TruePisces \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> > \*\*
> >
> > > [@](#):
> > >
> > > \*Originally posted by Meephead \*
> > > \*\*
> > >
> > > > [@](#):
> > > >
> > > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> > > > \*\*If you throw a lit firecracker at your friend, and your friend forgives you, it’s love. \*\*
> > >
> > > On the other hand, my experience has shown that this approach could possibly blow it for you. 🙂 \*\*
> >
> > But if you’re looking to BANG somebody, you’ve got to take some risks. 🙂 🙂 \*\*
>
> GROAN! GROWL! ARG!
>
> _throws firecrackers at Snooooopy_ \*\*
Look, I meant a FEW firecrackers, not the entire inventory of Crazy Joe’s House of Exploding Things (conveniently located just off Interstate 75).
Nonetheless, I forgive you. We can have our first date in the burn center that I’m recovering at – that is, when I’m not undergoing skin graft treatments so painful that I pray to God every night for a merciful exit from this cruel world.
And we are NOT watching any freaking NASCAR.
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/26 "2001-01-23T11:37:13Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> \*\* Look, I meant a FEW firecrackers, not the entire inventory of Crazy Joe’s House of Exploding Things (conveniently located just off Interstate 75).
>
> Nonetheless, I forgive you. We can have our first date in the burn center that I’m recovering at – that is, when I’m not undergoing skin graft treatments so painful that I pray to God every night for a merciful exit from this cruel world.
>
> And we are NOT watching any freaking NASCAR. \*\*
Is there any place safe for me to kiss it and make it better? I’ve been told I have a healing touch!
And we can wait on NASCAR… the official start of the season doesn’t start for another 3 weeks, 5 days and approximately 5 1/2 hours. So we have time! 😉
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### Author:  [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/27 "2001-01-23T14:30:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TruePisces \*
> (edited)
> Well, it’s not exactly a current situation, more of a hypothetical-that-someday-might-not-be-but-I-want-to-know-the-score-just-in-case situations.
>
> You either have the firecracker test or the kiss test or a variety of others (like the “Can I live without them?” question) But when you meet someone online, get to be good friends with them, THINK there could be something more, but don’t have the opportunity to meet… Well, it makes you wonder what happens when you DO, and if there IS, how do you KNOW that your hormones just aren’t in overdrive from all the new emotions of meeting a friend face to face?
> \*\*
True, darling, I didn’t realize how deeply you felt about us. But with me, honey, the KISS test is virtually identical to the FIRECRACKER test! 🙂
But more seriously, in my experience the newness needs to fade away and talks needs to move from the this-is-what-I’ve-done to this-is what-we-will-do. The opening the car door without thinking about it type of consideration for another, or touching a person just because he/she is there, being comfortable with silence, these are all indications beyong the stomach-flipping scene that what you have is more than a physical/emotional attraction.
Now, less seriously, can I get in line for this test?
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/28 "2001-01-23T15:04:13Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by UncleBill \*
> \*\* True, darling, I didn’t realize how deeply you felt about us. But with me, honey, the KISS test is virtually identical to the FIRECRACKER test! 🙂_\*
And I thought I was hiding it so WELL! 🙂
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> But more seriously, in my experience the newness needs to fade away and talks needs to move from the this-is-what-I’ve-done to this-is what-we-will-do. The opening the car door without thinking about it type of consideration for another, or touching a person just because he/she is there, being comfortable with silence, these are all indications beyong the stomach-flipping scene that what you have is more than a physical/emotional attraction. \*\*
Very good point. It’s the little things more than the big things that make the difference. A phone call when you know they’re having a bad day. Just a quick stop to give a kiss good morning. Feeling comfortable just holding each other on the couch in front of the fire while talking about your day… those kinds of things. Of course, that STILL doesn’t tell you if you should take the big jump in the first place! 🙂
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> Now, less seriously, can I get in line for this test?\*\*
Of course, darling! I’d be more than willing to administer the test to you!
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/29 "2001-01-23T15:14:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TruePisces \*
> \*\*Is there any place safe for me to kiss it and make it better? I’ve been told I have a healing touch!
> \*\*
Is there any place to kiss? I don’t know … maybe you could start with my lily-white ass. Just be careful with the bandag … YEEEOUCH!! THE PAIN!!
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> And we can wait on NASCAR… the official start of the season doesn’t start for another 3 weeks, 5 days and approximately 5 1/2 hours. So we have time! 😉
> \*\*
Thanks for the exact date. Now I know when I need to place that order for cyanide pills.
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### Author:  [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/30 "2001-01-23T15:36:00Z")
[QUOTE]
\*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TruePisces \*
> Thanks for the exact date. Now I know when I need to place that order for cyanide pills. \*\*
:: Sending lifetime supply of cyanide pills FedEx to **Snooooopy** to eliminate one rival for **TruePisces’** love::
Vra-Vra-Vrooooomm!!! I was raised in SC, where **NASCAR** was popular LONG before anybody outside the South ever heard of it!
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/31 "2001-01-23T17:26:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by UncleBill \*
> \*\* :: Sending lifetime supply of cyanide pills FedEx to **Snooooopy** to eliminate one rival for **TruePisces’** love:: \*\*
_looks at the slowly dwindling number of men around her (not that there were many to begin with)_
I think something funny is going on here…
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> Vra-Vra-Vrooooomm!!! I was raised in SC, where **NASCAR** was popular LONG before anybody outside the South ever heard of it! \*\*
Hah! That’s what YOU think… Grew up in NY state, and I’ve been watching NASCAR since before I could talk! It’s a family tradition! Another reason I MOVED to the south… more tracks within reach! 😃
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### Author:  [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/32 "2001-01-23T18:25:50Z")
I **KNEW** I liked you!
I’ve not done Daytona or Atlanta yet, but Homestead, Darlington, and Charlotte are under my belt (insert innuendo here).
Oh, yeah, back on topic, you could use somethings in common with your suitor as well (NASCAR). And someone who has shared some experiences, oh, say, maybe like having lived in New York state, or something. Maybe someone who has great pride for country, and maybe even was in the service during conflicts, or maybe someone who enjoys riding in the wind through the Florida Keys. Hmmm… where could you find a guy like that?
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/33 "2001-01-23T20:24:10Z")
[QUOTE]
\*Originally posted by UncleBill \*
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \*
> > Thanks for the exact date. Now I know when I need to place that order for cyanide pills. \*\*
>
> :: Sending lifetime supply of cyanide pills FedEx to **Snooooopy** to eliminate one rival for **TruePisces’** love::
> \*\*
Fed Ex … when you absolutely, positively HAVE to kill someone overnight!
Might I ask, now that I’m thinking about it, how many pills might constitute a lifetime supply of cyanide pills?
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### Author:  [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/34 "2001-01-23T20:41:50Z")
Somebody gets it!
If you took them really REALLY fast, maybe a dozen would last you. Being a NASCAR dissenter, you probably do not like things very fast, so I only sent 4. Take with water when you hear “Gentlemen, Start…Your…ENGINES!”. Do not attempt to operate heavy equipment while taking these pills, possible side effects include frothing at the mouth, loose bowels, and bleeding from the ears. No refund for unused portion of prescription.
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### Author:  [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/35 "2001-01-23T21:02:49Z")
Whatever you do, don’t use the spark test. All that does is let you know the battery works, it takes more than the battery to run the car.
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/36 "2001-01-23T21:44:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by UncleBill \*
> \*\*Somebody gets it!
>
> If you took them really REALLY fast, maybe a dozen would last you. Being a NASCAR dissenter, you probably do not like things very fast, so I only sent 4. Take with water when you hear “Gentlemen, Start…Your…ENGINES!”.
> \*\*
I would like NASCAR if they made it like the old “Spy Hunter” video game – machine guns, smoke screens, oil slicks, and the theme from “Peter Gunn” piped in over the public address system.
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> Do not attempt to operate heavy equipment while taking these pills, possible side effects include frothing at the mouth, loose bowels, and bleeding from the ears. No refund for unused portion of prescription. \*\*
Refund? Am I to understand that you’re CHARGING me for the privilege of offing myself?
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### Author:  [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/37 "2001-01-23T21:57:38Z")
[QUOTE]
\*Originally posted by Snooooopy \*
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> I would like NASCAR if they made it like the old “Spy Hunter” video game – machine guns, smoke screens, oil slicks, and the theme from “Peter Gunn” piped in over the public address system.\*\*
If FOX ever gets ahold of it for long it WILL be like that. XNASCAR.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*Refund? Am I to understand that you’re CHARGING me for the privilege of offing myself? \*\*
You were going to place an order anyway, I just provided the service! I’m considerate that way. Do you have an HMO card with a prescription rider? Then it would only be $5. Still, once the bottle is opened, the contents COULD be contaminated, and they might not work as advertised for the next vict-…, I mean patient.
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/38 "2001-01-23T22:02:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by UncleBill \*
> \*\*You were going to place an order anyway, I just provided the service! I’m considerate that way. Do you have an HMO card with a prescription rider? Then it would only be $5. Still, once the bottle is opened, the contents COULD be contaminated, and they might not work as advertised for the next vict-…, I mean patient. \*\*
Ok, who do I need to warn first? Do you have any idea how bad this will look on me? I’ll be the Black Widow Doper! 🙂
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/39 "2001-01-23T23:59:31Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by UncleBill \*
> \*\*You were going to place an order anyway, I just provided the service! I’m considerate that way. Do you have an HMO card with a prescription rider? Then it would only be $5. Still, once the bottle is opened, the contents COULD be contaminated, and they might not work as advertised for the next vict-…, I mean patient. \*\*
Are these pills plain cyanide, orange-flavored or new FreshMint? Orange is my favorite.
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### Author:  [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-can-you-tell-if-theres-sparks/51177/40 "2001-01-24T00:08:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TruePisces \*
> \*\*
> I’ll be the Black Widow Doper! 🙂
> \*\*
Sounds like a sig to me…
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