/father is a white man. He owns a home, is retired, has a family, never went crazy and ate people.
Fact 2) 62% of homicides by poison are commited by women.
/mother is a woman. She owns a home, is retired, has a family, never poisoned anyone.
Fact 3) It is believed that Jack the Ripper may have been a butcher since he knew how to cut so well.
/brother is a chef and owns lots of sharp knives, and can cut meat quite well. He has an apartment, has a job, no family, but still never knived anyone.
Jerry: What do you do for a living, Newman?
Newman: I’m a United States Postal Worker.
Jerry: Aren’t those the guys that always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?
Newman (slowly): Sometimes.
Jerry: Why is that?
Newman (now agitated): Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming, there’s never a let-up. It’s relentless. Every day it piles up more and more and more! And you gotta get it out, but the more you get it out the more it keeps coming in. And then the bar code reader breaks and it’s Publisher’s Clearing House day!
Jerry: All right!, all right!.
This thread makes me scared in that here in Canada, regular postal carriers write the response letters to children when they send in their letters to Santa (yeah, Canada Post has a thing where children send letters to ‘Santa’). I know this because one year, my response came back and it said ‘I know your brother!’. It was later revealed it was from my aunt, who worked at Canada Post. That was creepy enough, I don’t want to know what the workers close to going postal wrote to the kids.