# How come there aren't any porno video games? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 22, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299 "2004-07-22T03:46:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/41 "2004-07-23T22:14:05Z")
Here’s the thing: When you are utilizing porn, what are you doing with your _hands_? Moving a mouse? Pressing buttons on a game controller? Rolling a trackball? I’m guessing the answers to the above are all “no”. Yet how do you navigate a first-person, er, “shooter” type of game without using some form of manually-operated controller? Add this to the fact that most people aren’t ambidextrous enough to properly, ehm, multitask sufficiently for a successful game of this genre, and you can see the user-interface problems any serious porno game creator must overcome. I submit that if somebody comes up with a safe, effective, affordable, discretely-obtainable, USB2-compatible Spanksock™, you’re gonna see a veritable pr0n _renaissance_. It’ll be the first step in a long string of innovations leading up to the RoboCourtesan. ---
**Author:** ![Major\_Tom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@Major\_Tom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Major_Tom)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/42 "2004-07-23T22:19:31Z")
> [@Pochacco](#): > > Cool, another game designer. > > Mind if I ask who you’re with? We might even know each other … . > > Good post, BTW. Thanks. 🙂 I worked with Robyn and Rand Miller on Myst, then freelanced on a bunch of really crappy games (relatively speaking) and then ended up working with Westwood until their flameout a couple of years back. Now I’m doing “boring” stuff for targeted Web applications. _sigh_ One day though, I’ll pack up and move back to the coast. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/43 "2004-07-23T22:59:02Z")
Strip poker video games have been around for many years now. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/44 "2004-07-23T23:56:54Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Moving a mouse? Pressing buttons on a game controller? Rolling a trackball? Hence my reference to AIF above. In a text-based game, the player is free to alternate between brief bursts of typing and longer stretches of dedicated wanking when particularly appropriate prose is onscreen. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/45 "2004-07-24T00:35:57Z")
Hmmm. Never could get off on Penthouse Forum. Oh well. I guess I’m just to visually oriented. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/46 "2004-07-24T01:23:58Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > I submit that if somebody comes up with a safe, effective, affordable, discretely-obtainable, USB2-compatible Spanksock™, you’re gonna see a veritable pr0n _renaissance_. I was thinking about this somewhat recently, thinking how great it would be to manufacture one and I’d be a gazillionaire. They already exist. And come with chat software. With, well, approrpriate commands. So, back to the drawing board. It would have been years before I figured out the pickle matrix anyway. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/47 "2004-07-24T02:32:58Z")
The main problem with porn video games is that, even if well-made, they are designed so that the player can use at least one of his hands for a _ahem_ different purpose. Let’s just say that it porn doesn’t lend itself to a Final Fantasy-like control system. ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/48 "2004-07-24T02:57:57Z")
Looks like Playboy’s getting into the act. This is from today’s Page Six column in the New York Post: > [@](#): > > IF you ever wanted to live the life of Hugh Hefner (above), you’ll soon get your chance — at least virtually. A new Xbox game, “Playboy: The Mansion,” allows players to build up their own porn empire and mansion. The more moolah you make, the hotter the models and celebrities — like Carmen Electra and Uncle Kracker — you get to invite to your parties. And just like Hef, who claims to sleep with seven different models on a regular basis, success also gets you the pick of the Playboy bunnies for your personal delight. “There is nudity and sex in the game,” confirms a Playboy spokeswoman. ---
**Author:** ![PaulFitzroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@PaulFitzroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulFitzroy)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/49 "2004-07-24T04:35:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Yet how do you navigate a first-person, er, “shooter” type of game without using some form of manually-operated controller? Add this to the fact that most people aren’t ambidextrous enough to properly, ehm, multitask sufficiently for a successful game of this genre, and you can see the user-interface problems any serious porno game creator must overcome. As I stated before, I’m talking about the kind of game where you can stage and direct and edit porno scenes with animated characters…NOT some kind of “shooter” game where you “push X to do this, push Y to do this, push left thumbstick to ejaculate, etc etc.” That would be stupid, and people’s hands wouldn’t be free to masturbate. And that’s a critical problem. I want a game where, say, I could set up a sene with, for example, [Brandon Iron](http://www.talkingblue.com/malestar/Brandon_Irons.htm) and [Kobe Tai](http://www.talkingblue.com/asianstar/Kobe_Tai.htm) , edit their movemets, positions and whatnot with a track-style command type system, then once I’m satisfied, push “Play” and watch the action without having to lift a finger to influence the movements of any of the stars. Such a thing is possible. It has to be. There are a myriad of wrestling games featuring hulking, sweaty men in complicated positions rolling all over the mat; why the hell can they make these games but not a game with extremely hot women in the place of Goldberg and Steve Austin? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/50 "2004-07-24T04:45:53Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > How come there aren’t any porno video games? Because you need both hands to play video games. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/51 "2004-07-24T06:49:40Z")
There are, in fact, porn video games. A quick gander at the ESRB’s [http://www.esrb.com/search\_results.asp?rat\_6=Adults+Only&count1=6&desID0=32&desID1=8&desID2=24&desID3=28&desID4=37&desID5=4&desID6=44&desID7=31&desID8=23&desID9=38&desID10=27&desID11=22&desID12=39&desID13=30&desID14=13&desID15=47&desID16=43&desID17=46&desID18=10&desID19=25&desID20=45&desID21=34&desID22=41&desID23=42&desID24=40&desID25=15&desID26=11&desID27=26&desID28=14&desID29=12&desID30=33&desID31=35&desID32=21&desID33=36&desID34=20&desID35=29&count2=36&platID0=12&platID1=17&platID2=18&platID3=19&platID4=20&platID5=32&platID6=42&platID7=5&platID8=34&platID9=33&platID10=38&platID11=22&platID12=39&platID13=3&platID14=6&platID15=41&platID16=36&platID17=24&platID18=11&platID19=30&platID20=25&platID21=37&platID22=26&platID23=13&platID24=14&platID25=31&platID26=7&platID27=8&platID28=15&platID29=10&platID30=4&platID31=40&platID32=16&platID33=35&count3=34&pub=&key=&type=game&x=83&y=4](http://www.esrb.com/search_results.asp?rat_6=Adults+Only&count1=6&desID0=32&desID1=8&desID2=24&desID3=28&desID4=37&desID5=4&desID6=44&desID7=31&desID8=23&desID9=38&desID10=27&desID11=22&desID12=39&desID13=30&desID14=13&desID15=47&desID16=43&desID17=46&desID18=10&desID19=25&desID20=45&desID21=34&desID22=41&desID23=42&desID24=40&desID25=15&desID26=11&desID27=26&desID28=14&desID29=12&desID30=33&desID31=35&desID32=21&desID33=36&desID34=20&desID35=29&count2=36&platID0=12&platID1=17&platID2=18&platID3=19&platID4=20&platID5=32&platID6=42&platID7=5&platID8=34&platID9=33&platID10=38&platID11=22&platID12=39&platID13=3&platID14=6&platID15=41&platID16=36&platID17=24&platID18=11&platID19=30&platID20=25&platID21=37&platID22=26&platID23=13&platID24=14&platID25=31&platID26=7&platID27=8&platID28=15&platID29=10&platID30=4&platID31=40&platID32=16&platID33=35&count3=34&pub=&key=&type=game&x=83&y=4)]“Adult Only” list reveals 17 titles. 17 a quite a low number compared to the amount of games out there, but bear in mind that these are the only ones that have been officially rated by this office. There are sure to be hundreds if not thousands of homebrew programs out there, as well as commercial games that don’t bother to submit their works for rating. Something Awful’s list of horrible hentai game reviews can attest to that. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/52 "2004-07-24T06:51:11Z")
Damn it. If I’d used both hands to type I probably wouldn’t have made that mistake. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/53 "2004-07-24T12:35:57Z")
Still, I suppose it is only a matter of time. Already the main use for Poser seems to be to create scenes involving Japanese schoolgirls and tentacles. “Regular people” can now produce some pretty-good artwork to illustrate their fantasies. I presume this trend will continue. At some point a Poser-like movie-making application will become available. Then it is only a short step to an open-source ‘so you want to be a game designer’ software moves into the home market. With easy-to-use software, it is unimaginable that many acre-feet of porn movies and video games would not be developed. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299/54 "2004-08-02T11:30:19Z")
I think porn video games are just an industry waiting for their killer app. I suspect it’ll be MMORGS which feature icons along the lines of the best Poser graphics, that can interreact sexually. As has been pointed out already, Poser has gone a long way toward developing a community that can manage that, but I think you have to be at least half-artist to make it work. It’ll have to be easy and require no artistic talent – just tell the icon what you want it to do. I’d say we’re 5-10 years out, at least, but not much further than that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-come-there-arent-any-porno-video-games/256299.md?page=2)