# How complicated can a Starbucks order realistically get? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 15, 2010, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291 "2010-12-15T22:35:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![janeslogin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@janeslogin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janeslogin)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/1 "2010-12-15T22:35:32Z")
How complicated can a Starbucks order realistically get? I am listening to someone who wants a (1) venti, (2)double (3)[something] with (4)[somethng] and (5) [something] and I got to thinking. Just how many things could one \*realistically \*order? I’m guessing that 5 is no where near the limit. I don’t want to know how many a frat boy might be required to order during hazing or any such. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/2 "2010-12-15T22:39:23Z")
size, type of coffee, amount of esspresso, type of dairy, type of sweetener/flavoring, kind of topping (nutmeg, choc shavings, whipped cream, etc). that’s pretty much it, but 5 degrees of freedom is a lot. ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/3 "2010-12-15T22:48:41Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > size, type of coffee, amount of esspresso, type of dairy, type of sweetener/flavoring, kind of topping (nutmeg, choc shavings, whipped cream, etc). that’s pretty much it, but 5 degrees of freedom is a lot. Also amount of sweetner/flavoring (one pump, half pump, 5 pumps, whatever.) Decaf or full strength and how hot. You could conceivably order something like a Half Caf, non fat Grande 4 shot late in a venti cup, with 1 pump mocha half a pump raspberry (do they still have that?), 2 splenda, no foam, extra whip, extra hot, ad pumpkin spice topping and caramel syrup drizzled on the whip. It would be disgusting and they would probably get it wrong, but you could do it. ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/4 "2010-12-15T23:22:18Z")
Every Saturday morning I get a venti latte before my squash game. I get a chuckle when the coffee jerk reads the order back to these yuppies, and the guy isn’t sure if that’s right or not. He can’t even remember his own convoluted order. 😃 But then I realize I can’t make fun of yuppies and their Starbucks, because I’m at Starbucks, too…so that’d be the pot calling the kettle non-fat and extra hot. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/5 "2010-12-15T23:25:10Z")
I’m always the one behind these people in the queue, trying to order a large filter coffee to take away. And for some reason I’m the one who gets the baffled looks from the server when I place my order. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/6 "2010-12-15T23:26:13Z")
My standard order is “venti light mocha frap 2% no whip with a shot” but I don’t have to keep saying it because the barristas at my local Starbucks start making it when I walk in the door. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/7 "2010-12-16T00:17:23Z")
My standard order is “coffee,” but somehow that causes endless confusion. Ain’t like the old days. ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/8 "2010-12-16T04:06:08Z")
The extra hot is just code for I am an incredible wanker, right? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/9 "2010-12-16T04:10:31Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > My standard order is “coffee,” but somehow that causes endless confusion. Ain’t like the old days. Well, they have 3 varieties of brewed coffee, not to mention 3 sizes. 4, if you know that they still offer a “short.” It’s like walking into a pizzeria and saying “I want a pizza.” 😛 Oh yeah, I should haul out my anecdote about the full-of-herself person who was in line ahead of me and rattled off her order, something to the effect of, “I want a venti half-caf, soy, white chocolate mocha with peppermint, no whip.” The barista chuckled and said, “Gosh, I hope I can remember that,” in an obviously jovial tone, and she snapped back, “You’d **better!** ” :eek: I mean, wow, lady. I’m thinking you should just forget the ‘half-caf’ thing and go full decaf. ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/10 "2010-12-16T04:30:10Z")
> [@moejoe](#): > > The extra hot is just code for I am an incredible wanker, right? Or so I presume. I’ve never tore into a Starbucks coffee, taken a pause, and then went, “Well, God damn. This thing didn’t burn the roof of my mouth, _or_ my tongue. What kind of a Mickey Mouse operation are they running in here?” :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/11 "2010-12-16T14:01:24Z")
I went into a Starbucks this morning and heard “no foam”, “easy whip” (I’m assuming that’s “go easy on the whipped cream”), and also “no water” on a chai order. I don’t know for sure what normal chai is made with, maybe milk and water? ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/12 "2010-12-16T14:44:02Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > You could conceivably order something like a > > Half Caf, non fat Grande 4 shot late in a venti cup, with 1 pump mocha half a pump raspberry (do they still have that?), 2 splenda, no foam, extra whip, extra hot, ad pumpkin spice topping and caramel syrup drizzled on the whip. > It would be disgusting and they would probably get it wrong, but you could do it. That’s why they’ve got the tip jar out there, folks. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/13 "2010-12-16T14:48:29Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > My standard order is “coffee,” but somehow that causes endless confusion. Ain’t like the old days. [This one scene](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTtDmQkn1B8) made the whole crappy movie worthwhile. > [@Role Models](#): > > Danny: Can I get a large black coffee? > Barista: A what? > Danny: Large black coffee. > Barista: Do you mean a venti? > Danny: No, I mean a large. > Barista: Venti is large. > Danny: No, venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact, tall is large and grande is Spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn’t mean large. It’s also the only one that’s Italian. Congratulations, you’re stupid in three languages. > Barista: A venti is a large coffee. > Danny: Really? Says who? Fellini? Do you accept lira or is it all euros now? ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/14 "2010-12-16T14:50:32Z")
> [@moejoe](#): > > The extra hot is just code for I am an incredible wanker, right? No, it’s code for “I’m planning to drink most of it later rather than right now.” ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/15 "2010-12-16T15:59:09Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > It’s like walking into a pizzeria and saying “I want a pizza.” 😛 Exactly; how is it more pretentious than going to McDonalds and asking for a double cheeseburger, extra pickle, hold the onions? And getting ticked 'cause they put the fucking onions on your burger anyway? Note: I actually like onions. Preceding comment was for demonstration purposes only. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/16 "2010-12-16T16:08:22Z")
> [@Annie](#): > > That’s why they’ve got the tip jar out there, folks. Uh oh. It’s not the “leave a dollar/take a dollar” jar? That explains some of the looks I got. I order a short coffee. Room for cream? No. Black coffee. Small cup. Sometimes they echo “a \*short \*coffee?” back to me, as though caught off guard— _how is this strange interloper familiar with our secret menu?_ While they stand there dazed with shock, I liberate a couple of dollars from the tip jar. “Keep the change,” I say. ---
**Author:** ![sachertorte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sachertorte/32/3727_2.png) [@sachertorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sachertorte)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/17 "2010-12-16T16:12:47Z")
While I agree that the starbucks menu is ridiculous, the baristas, at least the baristas at my local starbucks, are not assholes. I can quite happily order a small decaf and they will get me the appropriate size without any fuss. There was a time when I was partial to short decaf cappuccinos made with soy milk and an extra shot of espresso. Apparently the order of the list matters. (Which makes sense to me since all that stuff is confusing). I kept getting confused and the nice lady wrote it down for me. So all I had to do was pull out the slip of paper and read it off. Ridiculous? yes. Nice? also yes. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/18 "2010-12-16T16:32:04Z")
So how do they MAKE an extra hot? Do they have a little heat coil they stir it with? ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/19 "2010-12-16T16:39:02Z")
I have been to a lot of star bucks around the country. Never have I once had any issue with ordering a medium cup of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291/20 "2010-12-16T16:43:12Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > I’m always the one behind these people in the queue, trying to order a large filter coffee to take away. And for some reason I’m the one who gets the baffled looks from the server when I place my order. Well, you do at least have to tell them what \*kind \*of coffee. I’m usually so confused by the display board that I just ask for “a tall of whatever medium roast you have going, two inches of room on top” and then go over to the condiment station and mix in my own cream and sugar. I mean, I like my coffee sweet and creamy - I could pay $5 for their sweet and creamy options, or $1.50 for coffee and add their free sweet and creamy options myself. Duh. Oh, but once in a while I’ll splurge for a Caramel Machiatto, 'cause I can’t replicate that, and it’s heaven in a cup. But yeah, they’re often a little taken aback by a “just coffee” order, even if you specify the blend of coffee. This is more of a problem in Lincoln Park (yuppie central) than in Uptown (students and homeless people). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-complicated-can-a-starbucks-order-realistically-get/564291.md?page=2)