# How could a 15 year-old kill a bear?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 13, 2012, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030 "2012-06-13T16:52:56Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2012, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/41 "2012-06-13T22:07:20Z")
In the Anthony Hopkins movie, he and Alec Baldwin also rigged up a swinging spiked log and tried to lure the bear into the correct spot. Didn’t work.
When I mentally put myself into the movie I envision hauling several 30 lb. rocks up a tree and dropping them on the bear when he comes to investigate. I’m assuming rocks that size could crack a bear’s skull when dropped from 25 feet.
You’d also want a wooden spear to make it hard for the bear to come up the tree after you. And if you’ve got the vines or rope to make a swinging log trap, you could haul a hefty pointed log up the tree and tie the rope to the non-pointed end. Tie the rope to a branch and you have a recoverable weapon that falls to a repeatable spot. Drop it point first on the bear eating the yummy snacks at the bottom of the tree.
If the rocks and log spear don’t cripple the bear, you’re sorta trapped in the tree, but that’s not that much worse than being on the ground and hoping you can trick a huge bear into impaling itself on a sharp stick.
I don’t know if there are any nearby forests in the OP’s story.
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### Author:  [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2012, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/42 "2012-06-13T23:12:51Z")
> [@TriPolar](#):
>
> I’d just get a gun and hang around any dumpsters in bear territory. But there might be interesting methods involving rocket powered roller skates or a giant sling shot.
That would be the Wyle. E Coyote Method.
Let us know how that works out. 😃
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2012, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/43 "2012-06-13T23:23:39Z")
Convince the bear to take up sky diving. Get it on a plane and hand it an Acme parachute.
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### Author:  [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/44 "2012-06-13T23:42:45Z")
Remove the bears bum leg. Have the kid escape up a large tree the bear follows the boy up about fifty feet, he walks out onto a branch. The bear eventually gets up there, the boy lures him. The bear becomes hesistant but comes out just enough. The boy grabs a branch above him and with his full weight starts bouncing on the branch, the bear loses his balance or the branch breaks and falls fifty feet to the ground breaking it’s back but still alive.
The boy climbs down, grabs a large rock and crushes the bears skull out of mercy.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2012, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/45 "2012-06-13T23:46:11Z")
> [@Ibanez](#):
>
> Remove the bears bum leg. Have the kid escape up a large tree the bear follows the boy up about fifty feet, he walks out onto a branch. The bear eventually gets up there, the boy lures him. The bear becomes hesistant but comes out just enough. The boy grabs a branch above him and with his full weight starts bouncing on the branch, the bear loses his balance or the branch breaks and falls fifty feet to the ground breaking it’s back but still alive.
>
> The boy climbs down, grabs a large rock and crushes the bears skull out of mercy.
That is just _sooo_ implausible. 😛
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### Author:  [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2012, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/46 "2012-06-13T23:49:04Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> That is just _sooo_ implausible. 😛
If it’s a big tree with a big branch it isn’t. The bear isn’t going to come out far, but just far enough.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/47 "2012-06-13T23:54:29Z")
Bears can dance. They have rhythm. Be very tough to knock one off balance.
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### Author:  [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/48 "2012-06-13T23:56:50Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> Bears can dance. They have rhythm. Be very tough to knock one off balance.
Yeah but it’s an old, blind hungry bear.
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### Author:  [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/49 "2012-06-13T23:59:43Z")
> [@Ibanez](#):
>
> The boy grabs a branch above him and with his full weight starts bouncing on the branch, the bear loses his balance or the branch breaks and falls fifty feet to the ground breaking its back but still alive.
You mean the branch took all it could bear?
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### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/50 "2012-06-14T00:01:03Z")
> [@ExTank](#):
>
> That would be the Wyle. E Coyote Method.
>
> Let us know how that works out. 😃
Actually it’s the Road Runner method. I would send those things to the bear.
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### Author:  [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/51 "2012-06-14T00:13:18Z")
> [@Musicat](#):
>
> You mean the branch took all it could bear?
To be honest, I have no idea what you’re asking.
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### Author:  [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/52 "2012-06-14T04:11:34Z")
Since we’re onto tree climbing, have him cut loose a tracker jacker hive above the bear’s head. The meat may not be fit for human consumption, though.
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### Author:  [@Chipacabra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chipacabra)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/53 "2012-06-14T04:47:16Z")
Start with the trap and a bear-spear, and then the kid can’t go through with it because the bear’s injured and it’s just being a bear, so he mends and tames the bear and becomes king because he _rides a freaking giant angry bear into battle._
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### Author:  [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/54 "2012-06-14T06:18:20Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#):
>
> A trebuchet. I leave the specific mechanism to your imagination, but you should really use a trebuchet for this. Will he lure the bear into the trebuchet, then launch it into a castle wall? Will he lure the bear into an enclosed area, at which point a trebuchet will fire a load of cannonballs at his butt? Who knows!
>
> No royalties required, but it’d be nice to get a mention in the introduction. 😉
Obviously the best way would be the boy using the trebuchet to launch himself INTO the bear.
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### Author:  [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/55 "2012-06-14T06:44:55Z")
He wouldn’t. He’s one lad, it’s a bear. He gets eaten, the end.
Actually, I think there is a story of the Biblical David killing a bear with a sling. Pretty sure he’s said to have killed a big cat and a giant that way. So, yeah, some kind of sling, get that rock flying.
(Though I like the poison idea, maybe a little better.)
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### Author:  [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/56 "2012-06-14T07:36:56Z")
Thanks again guys, I think I have things all figured out now. All that remains is to finish writing the story. I doubt it’s good enough for a paying market, but let me know if any of you would like to see my humble effort when it’s done. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/57 "2012-06-14T09:42:20Z")
The average fifteen year old boy should have no trouble with taking out a Koala Bear.
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/58 "2012-06-14T10:55:15Z")
A fifteen year old boy could just annoy a bear to death.
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### Author:  [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/59 "2012-06-14T13:36:41Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#):
>
> The average fifteen year old boy should have no trouble with taking out a Koala Bear.
I’ve heard koalas are both ill-tempered and surprisingly strong. When I was a kid some teenager tried to steal one from the zoo, and a full listing of the kid’s resulting injuries took up half the newspaper article.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-a-15-year-old-kill-a-bear/625030/60 "2012-06-14T13:54:11Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#):
>
> He wouldn’t. He’s one lad, it’s a bear. He gets eaten, the end…
THAT’s the way! The bear chokes to death while eating him. It’s kind of Jesusy when you think of it – sacrificing himself to save his people, his body and blood being a meal…
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