# "How could anybody be &@#$\*ing STUPID enough to buy that and breathe?" products **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2008, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651 "2008-02-22T00:56:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/121 "2008-02-27T03:29:23Z")
A lot of the dumb shit people waste money on is fitness or health related. Magic diet pills, magnetic “chi-balancing” junk, ionic necklaces, exotic exercise machines, etc. My vote for absolute stupidity goes to fad items though. Anyone who bought a pet rock or tamagotchi, much less fought over a Cabbage Patch doll with other fanatical morons deserves as much scorn as possible heaped upon their pointy little heads. [QUOTE=Great Dave] And anyone who thinks that 4 minutes of exercise will be enough for a cardio workout probably ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. [/QUOTE] The machine is stupidly expensive, but the _idea_ isn’t all that out there. Sprinters and other short-duration high-intensity athletes don’t do much long distance training. Their longest single effort is usually under 5 minutes, but they easily outperform marathon runners in strength, and have lower body fat and more muscle. On the other hand, with a pullup bar, an olympic barbell, and maybe some dumbbells you could do more varied conditioning for less than $2,000. And that’s assuming you buy all the equipment yourself instead of sharing the costs at a gym. You can get incredibly fit with short, high-intensity efforts. Here are a couple of examples. [http://www.crossfit.com/EvaT080218c.html](http://www.crossfit.com/EvaT080218c.html) [http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/AmundsonElizabeth.html](http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/AmundsonElizabeth.html) They’re literally poster-children for the training protocol promoted by Crossfit. Most workouts are under 20 minutes, and there are few cardio-only training sessions. I don’t belong to any of their gyms (no franchises here in Japan) but I’ve been using their training recommendations — which are provided for free on the website — for about a year. Two words: kick ass. I can run faster and farther, I’m much, much stronger, and I’ve probably got lower body fat than I’ve had for many years. Some of my workouts are only 10 minutes long, if you don’t count warmup or stretching. IOW, dumb machine, but not a dumb idea. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/122 "2008-02-27T03:34:48Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Only his ball dresser knows for sure. [/QUOTE] Which twin has the neuticles? On the subject of fad items, I can understand buying them if you just happen to like them (I owned a Rubik’s Cube and what-not), but people who paid hundreds and later thousands of dollars for Beanie Babies were the ones who blew my mind. I remember thinking at the time this was our equivalent of the Dutch Tulip Mania, and sure enough the $2,000 Beanie Babe is now back to however much you can get for it (which will probably have at least two less zeroes). ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/123 "2008-02-27T09:29:24Z")
Anybody remember **Pet Rocks**? For you young’uns, Pet Rocks were marketed to stupid people with too much money in the mid 1970s. They were rocks wrapped in a little box and you could teach them tricks like…play dead. Ha ha, very funny. But the joke was on the damn fool who paid upwards of $5.00 (about twice the minimum wage) to make some clever SOB a millionaire. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/124 "2008-02-27T09:41:02Z")
[QUOTE=Great Dave] [about the ROM exercise machine] How the heck does one use it? I’ve seen the ads plenty of times over the last 10+ years, but can’t figure it out. And anyone who thinks that 4 minutes of exercise will be enough for a cardio workout probably ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. [/QUOTE] Basically, it’s a stair stepper, but with really tall steps. Like if you were trying to climb God’s staircase. The arm motion bit is the same idea. Really wide movements. Their argument runs like this: oxygen consumption THE way of measuring the cardio effect of an exercise during the exercise. Our machine works lots of muscles at once, making the oxygen consumption really high. Because the oxygen consumption is so high, you achieve the same amount of oxygen burned as a traditional workout, but in less time. Therefore, you receive the SAME LONG-TERM benefits. In reality, you just so overtax yourself that you outstrip the capacity of your heart and lungs to deliver oxygen very quickly. You walk away feeling like you just mountain-climbed your pudgy chip-eating self up Everest, and presume that you’ve had an awesome workout. My cellular biology is rusty, but I can’t imagine that simply temporarily depleting the glucagon stores in the muscle is enough to stimulate myofibril production, or mitochondrial replicaiton, or vascular collagen composition, or any of the other cellular measures of cardiovascular strength. ETA: **Sleel** beat me to it ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/125 "2008-02-27T10:28:54Z")
[The Airport Security Playset.](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=B000Y8BIMC/ref=nosim/jwalkassociateA) > [@](#): > > Scan It Operation Checkpoint Airport Security Scanner Education Resource For Children. Scan It® is an educational and creative play toy that helps children become acclimated with airport and public spaces security. The device is both a fun toy and an educational tool. It detects metal objects and simulates an X-ray scan via a functioning conveyor belt that glides articles over its metal detector path. When metallic items are present the unit beeps and lights up. This unique toy/teaching aid provides ample amounts of healthy fun along with education and awareness of the security measures that people face in real life. A fun and educational booklet is also available upon request along with other online resources at . Additional projects and education on airport and public spaces security is also available now . Because there just _aren’t_ enough assholes in America! ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/126 "2008-02-27T18:46:18Z")
DiamondAura jewelry. > [@](#): > > We named our brilliant cut collection DiamondAura, because simply said, “they dazzle just like natural diamonds but without the outrageous cost.” Our DiamondAuras are an absolute marvel of modern gemological science. We insisted that our scientists reproduce the look of a loupe-clean diamond in the laboratory, and would not accept any result other than perfection. We will not bore you with the incredible details of the scientific process, but will only say that it involves the use of rare minerals heated to an incredibly high temperature of over 5000’F. This can only be accomplished inside some very modern and expensive laboratory equipment. After several additional steps, scientists finally created a clear faultless marvel that looks even better than the vast majority of mined diamonds. Noted jewelry expert Steven Rozensky said, “The color and clarity of DiamondAura rivals that of a flawless D colored diamond”. Of course, flawless diamonds sell for in excess of $50,000 a carat, so they are priced out of reach. With precious metal settings and sizes exceeding 1 carat, the visual effects are breathtaking!" > [@](#): > > More Fire Than A Mined Diamond > 8.5 Hardness On The Mohs Scale > High Refractive Index > Will Cut Glass > Scientifically Grown DiamondAura Stones They are frickin’ CZs, but they never just come out and say that. They dance around the issue like crazy, though. You can get CZs WAY cheaper at your local department store - without the prestigious “DiamondAura” name, though. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/127 "2008-02-27T19:25:49Z")
Not a product, but the commercials (usually run at night) prompting me to put my unwanted or scrap gold in an envelope, and mail it away for cash. They still run the ads, so there must be people sending them gold. I wonder if the people who’ve been ripped off are too embarassed to take legal action. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Blue-Sighted_Shadow)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/128 "2008-02-27T19:48:08Z")
[QUOTE=gwendee] Not a product, but the commercials (usually run at night) prompting me to put my unwanted or scrap gold in an envelope, and mail it away for cash. They still run the ads, so there must be people sending them gold. I wonder if the people who’ve been ripped off are too embarassed to take legal action. [/QUOTE] Wait, what? Really? Why didn’t I think of that? I can sort of understand the exercise equipment and magic crystals and stuff. That’s what fantasies are made of. But putting your unwanted gold (who has unwanted gold laying around, anyway?) in the _mail_? Perhaps we are all doomed, after all. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/129 "2008-02-27T19:50:31Z")
[QUOTE=The Blue-Sighted Shadow] But putting your unwanted gold (who has unwanted gold laying around, anyway?) in the _mail_? [/QUOTE] Not only into the mail, but in a self-adhesive envelope labeled **GOLDKIT** in one-inch letters. :rolleyes: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/130 "2008-02-27T20:14:43Z")
[QUOTE=Peanuthead] Anybody remember **Pet Rocks**? For you young’uns, Pet Rocks were marketed to stupid people with too much money in the mid 1970s. They were rocks wrapped in a little box and you could teach them tricks like…play dead. Ha ha, very funny. But the joke was on the damn fool who paid upwards of $5.00 (about twice the minimum wage) to make some clever SOB a millionaire. [/QUOTE] Look all the feral rocks we have around after people abandoned unwanted pet rocks in the 80’s. Nobody was required back then to get them neutered. ---
**Author:** ![Thing\_Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@Thing\_Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing_Fish)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2008, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/131 "2008-02-28T23:27:34Z")
[QUOTE=Merneith] My favorite part (aside from saying “peter popoff”) is Peter Popoff’s Motto: _ **“GOD IS TOUCHING HURTING PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD!”** _ [/QUOTE] I just wish he would start hurting touchy people… ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/132 "2008-02-29T03:31:49Z")
[QUOTE=Thing Fish] I just wish he would start hurting touchy people… [/QUOTE] I think they forgot the comma. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/133 "2008-02-29T05:34:24Z")
[QUOTE=spooje] Anyone who buys ANYTHING from an automated phone call. Anyone who buys The Star, The Globe or the National Enquirer. [/QUOTE] When I retire I want to work for one of these papers as a reporter. That has got to be a fun job, you sit on the beach, have a few margaritas and then just start making stuff up. How hard could it be? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2008, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/134 "2008-03-01T04:44:00Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] When I retire I want to work for one of these papers as a reporter. That has got to be a fun job, you sit on the beach, have a few margaritas and then just start making stuff up. How hard could it be? 😃 [/QUOTE] Not very, apparently. My favorite Weekly World News cover featured a picture of what purported to be the dead body of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVie, who had been scheduled for execution that very week. Emphasis on the words “_had been scheduled for_.” The execution was delayed, and McVie was very much alive at the time the issue graced the checkout aisles of my local grocery store. It’s just not the same since Weekly World News went out of business. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2008, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/135 "2008-03-01T05:53:26Z")
[QUOTE=Tenar] It’s just not the same since Weekly World News went out of business. [/QUOTE] No, it hasn’t. But at least CNN is trying to pick up the load. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2008, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/136 "2008-03-01T05:53:36Z")
[QUOTE=Sleel] The machine is stupidly expensive, but the _idea_ isn’t all that out there. Sprinters and other short-duration high-intensity athletes don’t do much long distance training. Their longest single effort is usually under 5 minutes, but they easily outperform marathon runners in strength, and have lower body fat and more muscle. [/QUOTE] I was a sprint distance swimmer. Sprinters might not go for a long time in a single continuous effort, but you do it more than 5 minutes worth, believe me. And the ROM’s big selling point is that you get a complete workout in _exactly_ 4 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2008, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/137 "2008-03-01T08:25:04Z")
Here’s my nominee: the [facial exerciser for wrinkles](http://www.regenerationsmbs.com/c-19-tua-viso-facial-exerciser.aspx). So sad ☹ . ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2008, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/138 "2008-03-01T23:36:40Z")
[The Nubrella.](http://www.core77.com/blog/object_culture/an_umbrella_for_barbarella_9106.asp) > [@](#): > > The Nubrella rests on your shoulder and can be held in place with a finger, leaving your other hand free to…we were going to say “smoke a cigarette,” but perhaps filling your bubble with smoke isn’t such a great idea. Leaving your other hand free to use a cell phone, how’s that. In any case you can pick one up here for a mere $59.99. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2008, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/139 "2008-03-01T23:44:31Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] When I retire I want to work for one of these papers as a reporter. That has got to be a fun job, you sit on the beach, have a few margaritas and then just start making stuff up. [/QUOTE] I know someone who got into the Weekly World News. Their tale of escaping twelve-foot waves on Lake Erie during a freak storm was true enough. The water monsters were a complete fabrication. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651/140 "2008-03-02T00:04:20Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] [The Nubrella.](http://www.core77.com/blog/object_culture/an_umbrella_for_barbarella_9106.asp) [/QUOTE] Did you see the video at the end of the page with the normal-looking umbrella that flexes in, so you don’t collide umbrella tips with another person? Genius! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-anybody-be-ing-stupid-enough-to-buy-that-and-breathe-products/438651.md?page=8)