# How could my life be worse. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 5, 2004, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573 "2004-05-05T02:01:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![legion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@legion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legion)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/41 "2004-05-05T19:05:30Z")
A crazy guy just broke into my apartment and forced me, at gunpoint, to buy some skanky old toilet off him! ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/42 "2004-05-05T19:06:53Z")
You invite several people over for dinner at your manor, and they try to kill you… with a sharp stick, with explosives in the toilet, with a loud noise, with a Civil War cannon. “Hello, and welcome. I’m your host, Doctor Lucky.” Or you could be a SDMB Hampster. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/43 "2004-05-05T19:11:46Z")
Right… You could have to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night, half an hour before you went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when you got home, your Dad would kill you, and dance about on your grave singing “Hallelujah.” Luxury! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/44 "2004-05-05T20:56:26Z")
Russian mobsters could break into your tenement apartment, chain you to the only piece of furniture to your name: your beautiful toilet! Then they take out your brother to shoot him execution style, then you stuggle and struggle against the toilet and… hey, wait. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/45 "2004-05-05T22:06:45Z")
Or the crazed gunman could steal your toilet and your septic tank then next thing you know he’s got em up for auction on ebay. ---
**Author:** ![theckhd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@theckhd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theckhd)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/46 "2004-05-05T22:08:16Z")
On my birthday a few years ago, i was given a stolen toilet… Sorry Sandlegs, i never knew. I’d give it back, but i don’t have it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/47 "2004-05-05T22:13:22Z")
It would be fun to see a crazed gunman go into Home Depot and steal all the toilets on display. Now **that** would be a worthy lead story on the six o’clock news. ---
**Author:** ![RainGrowsBrite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@RainGrowsBrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RainGrowsBrite)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/48 "2004-05-05T22:48:25Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Russian mobsters could break into your tenement apartment, chain you to the only piece of furniture to your name: your beautiful toilet! Then they take out your brother to shoot him execution style, then you stuggle and struggle against the toilet and… > > hey, wait. …and then you rip the toilet from the ground- stumble to the fireescape and jump off plumeting- you and the toilet- to the ground. Turns out the Russian mobsters were able to break you and the toilet’s fall (sort of)… ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/49 "2004-05-05T23:04:44Z")
You could be Paris Hilton. She’s not fat and she’s not broke. But you wouldn’t want to be her, would you? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/50 "2004-05-06T00:05:25Z")
A crazed gunman could break in Paris Hilton’s apartment, steal her toilet and she’d probably never notice it was gone. ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/51 "2004-05-06T00:12:22Z")
Ha ha ha… thanks guys… > [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > Could be worse. You could wake up tomorrow and find out the reason you haven’t been able to lose weight is because you’re 3 months pregnant. No, that would mean I wouldn’t be having my period now for the first time in a year… I thought I was done with this crap! (TMI, so sorry) I worked today, and it was fun, and I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow for $7, but these oh-my-god-my-hair posts are scaring me… I’ll letcha know! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/52 "2004-05-06T00:21:52Z")
You could have some strange German men break into your apartment while you are taking a bath and release a ferret into the tub. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/53 "2004-05-06T00:26:25Z")
You could walk into your brother’s room to tell him dinner is ready, only to find him jerking off to a _Playboy_ :eek: Every sisters nightmare right there. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/54 "2004-05-06T00:35:25Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > You could walk into your brother’s room to tell him dinner is ready, only to find him jerking off to a _Playboy_ :eek: > > Every sisters nightmare right there. Or you could walk into your brother’s room to tell him dinner is ready, only to find him jerking off to a _PlayGirl_ :eek: Every father’s nightmare right there. ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/55 "2004-05-06T00:40:49Z")
> [@](#): > > ``` > You could walk into your brother's room to tell him dinner is ready, only to find him jerking off to a Playboy > > ``` That _is_ disturbing. Doesn’t that kid know that there are much more interesting things to jerk off to than _Playboy_? There’s a whole world of erotic pictures on the internet alone, not including the many printed works that make Playboy look as tame as Highlights. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/56 "2004-05-06T01:06:28Z")
You could walk into your brother’s room and find him jerking off to _Ferret World_. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/57 "2004-05-06T01:13:44Z")
A crazed toilet man could break into your gun and take your apartment. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/58 "2004-05-06T01:17:02Z")
A crazed toilet man could be jacking of a ferret in your apartment. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/59 "2004-05-06T01:28:53Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > Could be worse. Could be raining. I used to say that. Now I live where raining is an improvement – depending on how much you get at once, of course. –SSgtBaloo P.S.: A crazed gunman stole my toilet. _AFTER_ he spiked my drink with laxative and bolted my doors. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![RainGrowsBrite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@RainGrowsBrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RainGrowsBrite)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573/60 "2004-05-06T03:48:06Z")
While sitting on a toilet, your brother is wacking off with a ferret to a crazed gunman in your apartment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-could-my-life-be-worse/243573.md?page=4)