# How dangerous are cows? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [February 19, 2018, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136 "2018-02-19T18:48:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/81 "2018-04-20T14:58:12Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > Are Holsteins meaner than other breeds? I was reading on-line and I wasn’t sure if he was just letting off steam about _his_ malcontents. Charolais are _mean_. ---
**Author:** ![leschulz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@leschulz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leschulz)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/82 "2018-04-20T15:46:02Z")
I’m surprised that Cecil missed the big mistake that the questioner made, which was to turn tail and run. As with most animals, running away triggers chase instincts. The best thing to do when confronting any animals, including cattle, is to slowly back away, keeping your eyes on the animal. Waving your arms and making noise are also good things. Having grown up around cattle I learned to be cautious, not make sudden moves, and behave as above. All this assumes there wasn’t a dairy bull in the bunch. If so, still probably back away if possible, but get the heck out of there is the best advice. Those suckers are mean, as opposed to beef bulls who are generally quite amiable. I’m also surprised that Cecil went along with the misuse of “cow” as a generic singular for the species. One of the great mysteries of the English language is that there is no generic singular for “cattle”, which may make them the only mammal on the planet for which that is true. A “cow”, of course, specifically refers to a female bovine who has given birth at least once. ---
**Author:** ![leschulz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@leschulz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leschulz)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/83 "2018-04-20T16:01:33Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > They are bred mostly for sheep, but they get used sometimes for cattle and other animals too. > > They’re smart dogs, and they are trained to be quite a bit more subtle than giving a herd animal “the eye” 😃 It never fails to impress watching a shepherd working with two or three dogs moving a flock around. I’m lucky that that’s something I can see from my house on a regular basis. Border collies will herd anything, including small children! I loved going to Border collie trials when I lived near to a place where they were held. Amazing to see the coordination with the shepherd using nothing but hand signals, whistles and the like. Mostly they used sheep, but sometimes they used geese, ducks, and other animals. Any breeds of dogs with “heelers” in their name likely specialize in cattle. ---
**Author:** ![leschulz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@leschulz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leschulz)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/84 "2018-04-20T16:05:06Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > Ha, yes. One of the bolder ones will amble over for some of that sweet, sweet other-side-of-the-fence grass, and next thing you know the whole herd is there. Cows are pretty cool. > > Having said that, they are the leading cause of death by animal in the UK, but that’s mostly incidents with bulls and to a lesser extent cows with calves. Yes, that’s definitely where the expression “The grass is always sweeter on the other side of the fence” comes from. Whenever we had a stretch of fence that wasn’t electrified (wooden, metal bars, barbless barbed wire, etc.) you’d see the whole herd with their necks stretched through the fence reaching as far as they could even though their own pasture was full of succulent grass! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/85 "2018-04-20T20:09:10Z")
Depends on the context. Cows grazing in a pasture: probably not dangerous. Cows as airborne objects: they weigh quite a bit and [could be deadly if they land on you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey0wvGiAH9g). > [@MP&HG](#): > > “Fetchez la vache.” > “Quoi?” > “Fetchez la vache!” ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/86 "2018-04-20T21:44:26Z")
“more likely to be killed by cows than snakes” — that’s because the cows run off the snakes! My younger sibs used to walk to school across the cow paddock (Holsteins). Mom was always grateful that the cows kept the snakes out. Farm manager always warned us if there was a bull on the property (wouldn’t have been in that paddock anyway). ---
**Author:** ![eastcheap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8491ac/32.png) [@eastcheap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eastcheap)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2018, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/87 "2018-04-21T02:19:43Z")
> [@seal\_cleaner](#): > > Charolais are _mean_. I don’t know if they’re mean or just nervous as hell (it probably amounts to the same thing). Mostly I just remember them being a royal pain in the ass because they’d scatter at the drop of a hat. A holy terror to get into a headgate, though, and we had to do that a _lot._ ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2018, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/88 "2018-04-22T14:30:42Z")
I thought of Cecil’s column when I read this comic. > **[Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 21, 2018 | GoComics.com](https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2018/04/21)** > > April 21, 2018 ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2018, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/89 "2018-04-22T21:26:45Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > I thought this was going to be another tipping thread. I think Cecil needs to follow this article with a follow up / update to correct one of the most disappointing articles I saw from the Straight Dope. > **[Is there really such a thing as cow tipping?](https://www.straightdope.com/21341990/is-there-really-such-a-thing-as-cow-tipping)** Really, an anecdote is enough to declare the issue as inconclusive? Anecdote is not the same as data. Just because someone you know is trustworthy it should not lead someone that seeks to fight ignorance to ignore the evidence that shows that, besides cows not willing to be players or dangerous as we see in this thread, is that one needs at least 5 regular people just to begin to make cow tipping plausible. And then in the era of YouTube and night vision, having a very conspicuous lack of video evidence of a successful cow tipping should had been enough to point out that it is very unlikely or that someone was pulling one’s leg when declaring that they did it. A previous search I made on the subject showed me that most of the videos I [saw](https://youtu.be/n7j3EOL2yl0?t=361)are [about how](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4lIAjj0dIc) this [is a myth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEEUn_bBOl4), or the videos give us “advise” [about how to possibly do such a thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ectgHjUcV8) (with no examples whatsoever about successful efforts or with tongue in cheek) or complete “[FAIL](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQXL92zTXwk)” [videos](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5lpeJ2k2Uo) of the [hilarious](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L_2GAnu8mM)efforts. The guys at [_Today I found Out_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEEUn_bBOl4) deserve credit here for consulting with Zoologists to get estimates of what would take to tip a cow, that is where the 5 people estimate comes from, and after pointing out how unlikely cow tipping is for that and other reasons they point at the most likely reason why cow tipping is a “thing”: > [@](#): > > So where did the idea of cow tipping come from? > > Unfortunately the answer is that no one knows for sure. It’s been theorized that > the practice of attempting cow tipping probably came about via serving the same function as the so called game of snipe hunting: sending a gullible individual out to perform some impossible tasks for the amusement of those in the know. The many examples of failed efforts at cow tipping on Youtube and other video sources points strongly to that and to misguided “dares” IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2018, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/90 "2018-04-23T11:53:31Z")
Just eat mor chikin and you won’t have a problem, otherwise, we can’t make any promises. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2018, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136/93 "2018-04-25T01:30:41Z")
Of course, calf branding is a rodeo sport. Not the actual branding, just the tripping it up and tipping it over. And they did brand unbranded cattle that had been missed the previous year. So some country kids would at least know where to start if they wanted to try cow tipping. > [@Banjo Patterson](#): > > Now the artful young rogue, while they held their collogue, > With his ear to the keyhole was listenin’, > And he muttered in fright, while his features turned white, > `What the divil and all is this christenin’?’ > > He was none of your dolts, he had seen them brand colts, > And it seemed to his small understanding, > If the man in the frock made him one of the flock, > It must mean something very like branding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dangerous-are-cows/809136.md?page=4)