# How dare you interfere with my life, fucking busybody! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 27, 2002, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845 "2002-08-27T23:07:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/21 "2002-08-28T03:27:21Z")
This is why I don’t keep an online journal. I do “have” one, but it’s so damn vague I forget what I’ve been writing about if I go over a week without updating it. I also don’t keep a hand-written journal. My private life is going to stay just that: private. Having said that, **OpalCat** , whoever sent your journal links in an email is a severe backstabber. The sad part is, I have a feeling it is probably somebody you trust or at least know pretty well. I hope you do well with your surgery, and it gives you the happiness you are seeking. I, myself, am looking for a millionaire and a boob job, (not necessarily in that order) but alas…Anna Nichole has already spoiled that for me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nightsong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nightsong/32/3083_2.png) [@Nightsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightsong)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/22 "2002-08-28T03:31:12Z")
I’m concerned that your doc made a decision just on someone’s e-mail: how is he to know who this person is? For all your doc knows, it could have been some crackpot who was randomly wading through the 'net, came across your info, and decided to have some ‘fun’. (I’d be saying the same thing if this person sent a letter, and had gathered the info through non-eletronic means.) And you mentioned that your doc already knew all that about your medical background, and had investigated things: why on earth would having a third party jump in from out of nowhere change things? In any event… best of luck, no matter what happens. 🙂 (If this entire post doesn’t parse right, forgive me: it’s been Chaos Week at work since last Monday.) * * * \<\< Computer programmers know how to use their hardware. \>\> ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/23 "2002-08-28T03:32:16Z")
WV: I weigh 235lbs and I’m 5’2" My BMI is 42. [anything over 40 is considered “morbidly obese”] I have a lot of health problems and discomfort (joint pain, etc) and psychological issues as a result of my weight. Today I weigh over twice what I did 8 years ago. I’ve been steadily gaining 15-20lbs a year. Why wait until I’m 350lbs and have heart problems and diabetes? I already have enough problems now. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/24 "2002-08-28T03:44:15Z")
I have to second **Nightsong** ’s comments. If your doctor is so wishy washy that an anonymous email makes him change his surgery plans, well sheesh I don’t know what to say. This does remind me of that thread a while ago about choosing to use pseudonoms rather than you real name for posting. Too many freaks out there. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/25 "2002-08-28T03:44:40Z")
Ah, **Opal** , for all the years we’ve had some shared cyber ground, I feel like I hardly know you; and yet I know an awful lot about you for someone I feel like I hardly know. So I think I must at least voice some agreement with **Coldie** , **Stoid** , _et al_ regarding the guarding of personal information. That being said, there _is_ no excuse for some anonymous asshole trying to make decisions for you and your engaged professionals. I can’t imagine what kind of rationalizations run through that person’s mind. Good luck, dear; I know you’ll get it sorted out in the end (no thanks to busybody). ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/26 "2002-08-28T03:45:41Z")
Nightsong: He wants to hear what my psychiatrist has to say after seeing me one more time. My appointment with her is on the 12th. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/27 "2002-08-28T03:47:21Z")
Oh, and the email wasn’t anonymous. It gave a first and last name. I’ll know who that is as soon as he forwards the email to me. (which he has agreed to do) ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/28 "2002-08-28T03:47:41Z")
I don’t think we’re “blaming the victim.” Rather, I’m reminded in a roundabout way of Bill Cosby’s old “Karate” routine, in which he talks about a guy who’s taken karate “walking through dark alleys with 10s and 20s hanging out of his pockets.” We’re not discussing a virginal college froshperson being dateraped; rather, we’re discussing someone who has been on the internet and the World Wide Web for some time (including but not limited to having a visual depiction of her day-to-day life available to any psychopath with an ISP). If I know that dark alleys are not a good place to go walking through while counting my big fat roll of Benjamins out loud (one-Benjy, two-Benjy), and I still do so, and I get mugged, do I not get at least a dope-slap? Yes, Mr. Mugger was wrong, but I was a dumbass. I love this community, and I have several times since I registered typed OPs looking for sympathy, and then backed out because I didn’t want them broadcast to whomever might walk by. And that’s just this one board–I don’t do LJ, I rarely post to Fathom, and I might (I don’t remember) be registered on UnaBoard. I often feel that I might be giving too much information out as it is…my boss, my wife, or my mistre—umm, my boss or my wife might be reading this and be able to identify me. Opal, why, given your history of making every little detail of your life available to every stranger, psychopath, sociopath, idiot, troll, etc., etc., are you surprised that one of the above might find it amusing to put a sabot in the works? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/29 "2002-08-28T04:07:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stofsky \* > **and I might (I don’t remember) be registered on UnaBoard.** Yes, you registered in October 2001 as “The Fifth Teletubby”. I don’t blame you for never posting under that moniker. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/30 "2002-08-28T04:33:48Z")
First off, every detail of my life isn’t available. You’d be amazed at how much I _don’t_ tell. The truth is that I’ve never had that regulator in my head that determines what is and what is not “normal” to divulge. I’ve had to learn things that other people know instinctively. For example, I wouldn’t tell a stranger at a bus stop that I have diarrhea. Anymore. But I had to learn that. As I’ve grown up, I’ve accepted that being extremely open is just part of “who I am” and not something that I can or want to change. I’ve learned, for the most part, to not be completely inappropriate in a public setting. I enjoy keeping an online journal. I enjoy sharing my life. As for whether anyone else gives a rat’s ass, that’s up to each person and their own rat ass. However, it is an important part of who I am and how I interact with the world. In all the years that I’ve been online this is one of the very few times that someone has used information against me. I think it is worth it. That doesn’t, however, mean that I’m not totally pissed off that someone would interfere and be such an asshole. The availability of information doesn’t give you the right to use it to hurt someone. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/31 "2002-08-28T11:08:01Z")
If you put it out there, people are gonna use it. So if it’s worth it to you to make your life a public book, you have to take the good with the bad. This may be the first time it’s happened but it won’t be the last. That’s just the way some people are. If this is the worst of the outcome, I’d say you came out pretty good. Knowing the type of info you put out there, a lot worse could be done, as we all know. I don’t read your journal but I’ve had friends send me parts of it, shocked at what you put on the net. But it is your choice. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/32 "2002-08-28T11:38:59Z")
I, personally, am stunned that a surgeon would reshedule a medical procedure based on an anonymous e-mail from a faceless yahoo in cyberspace. Too bad it would be such a hassle to get another surgeon. I would reem him after the surgery. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/33 "2002-08-28T11:40:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*Oh, and the email wasn’t anonymous. \*\* **D’OH!!!**! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/34 "2002-08-28T13:31:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*Qagdop: well all of that would be a result of me losing weight. This surgery will make me lose weight. See, since I’ve been fat, _I don’t go out_ I attend maybe 1 or 2 social events a year. The rest of the time I stay in my house. Therefore, losing weight will give me that part of my life back (leaving the house without feeling so awkward). I don’t see how these are unrealistic expectations. \*\* It could well do all that for you. I hope it does. I just get nervous if I feel the patient is expecting a surgery or treatment to make them another person. If that doesn’t apply to you, then never mind. You know yourself better than I. And what your emailer did to you sucks. QtM ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/35 "2002-08-28T13:36:30Z")
Consider this: in your real life people know your real name, probably know or have access to your phone number, address, likely know that you are having surgery, etc. They could fuck with you too. Say some coworker who doesn’t like you, or something. The difference is scope. As far as the rescheduling I’m not upset. First off, it means that my surgery is after my anniversary, not 2 days before. Second, it gives me a bit more time to come up with the almost $400 that I just found out I need to pay 2 weeks before my surgery. Also, it isn’t like he delayed it very long. 9 days. He just wants to make sure that I have a chance to talk to my psychiatrist and such. I can understand that. Also, I don’t have a whole lot of choice in what surgeon I go to. There are less than 30 in the nation who do this particular operation. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/36 "2002-08-28T13:38:51Z")
Qadgop: No, I’m just expecting it to return some of the person that I used to be before I started to balloon out like a blimp. More like I was about 8 years ago, but without all the drug dealing friends. ---
**Author:** ![cagiva650](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cagiva650](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cagiva650)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/37 "2002-08-28T14:04:08Z")
Hey **Opal** , If your doc took the email seriously maybe it is someone closer than you think. Ya know there was a time I thought about posting a “hi Opal’s stomach” thread. I think you know how the weight gets steadily gained. Though I do understand there are body modification types and pro anorexics, folks who wear tight corsets and all other quirky behaviors. People living with and finding outlets for their natural weirdness. I run my fingers thru my hair and pick my cuticles but I’m strange like that. I don’t consider weight loss surgery to be the same, yet I cannot imagine myself having such a permanent alteration to the inside organs of my body. Why do you need a regulator in you tummy to make you limit your caloric intake? Once you heal, and then when you feel like eating againyou’ll have to relearn how to eat and to get daily exercise. Does one really have to go under the knife to make themselves do this? PS: I think your openess is a sign of strength. ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/38 "2002-08-28T14:29:56Z")
A wise person once said, “Don’t write down anything you don’t want the whole world to know.” Sound advice! I also didn’t think you weigh as much as you do. You carry it well. I wish you luck on your surgery. And your recovery!! ---
**Author:** ![Jorel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jorel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorel)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/39 "2002-08-28T15:23:57Z")
I hope the surgery goes well Opal. I can’t imagine a friend doing this to you…so I I am guessing that you will not recognize the name on that email. A friend would have called you with his/her concerns. Again, best of luck with the surgery. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845/40 "2002-08-28T15:29:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\* > Yes, you registered in October 2001 as “The Fifth Teletubby”. I don’t blame you for never posting under that moniker. \*\* As serious as the rest of this thread is, I have to say your comment made me smile. It should be interesting, **Opal** , when you find out who sent the email… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-dare-you-interfere-with-my-life-fucking-busybody/125845.md?page=3)