# How Desperately I Want To Meet An Extra-Terrestrial **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 23, 2009, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091 "2009-04-23T13:28:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091/21 "2009-04-24T22:08:34Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Even if it meant the cruel enslavement of the entire human race… Well in my opinion that’s exactly what would happen. I have no doubt in my paranoid reactionary mind that if aliens come here they are coming here to conquer, enslave and/or eat us, then use the earth’s resources for nefarious universe-taking-over stuff. Hey, off topic, but I read somewhere that the Aurora Borealis actually makes a screaming sort of noise in space. If that’s true, then great! :rolleyes: It’s like a big old sign that says,“Here we are, delicious and docile and desperately seeking First Contact! Come and get it!!” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091/22 "2009-04-24T22:24:43Z")
I am a spirit from Jupiter. We are much the same as you, except we do not have corporeal bodies. It is relatively easy for us to assume ones that do when it will serve our purposes. We can do this with any kind of life, which is how I can assure you that there are indeed bacteria on Mars. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091/23 "2009-04-24T22:52:29Z")
Have you considered becoming a Space Traveller yourself??? That way, you could enslave other planets as well as this one. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091/24 "2009-04-24T23:05:54Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > What I’m getting from you both is essentially, “they’ll be so different it won’t matter.” > > I don’t think I agree with this, mainly because we’re talking about ETs coming to Earth, not us going to their planet. If they can conceive of such things as space, space ships, interstellar travel, propulsion, extraterrestrials etc, then we share those concepts and they _must_ not be so different or advanced the whole encounter is meaningless or overly frustrating. > > If they’re not more advanced, but simply just very, very different, then they’re probably never coming, because the concept of coming or going doesn’t exist for them. > > If they are more advanced, even super super advanced, if they still possess the inclination to visit another planet then I don’t think they’re so advanced they wouldn’t notice us or completely miss how it is we communicate. I disagree. I don’t think that it’s necessary for the aliens to know we exist in order to affect us. At least with enslavers or conquerors, they may be close enough to us that there’s a form of communication, but how would we communicate with, say, planet-sized space-based beings who see the planets as mere mass for their thrusters? They might start to break the solar system up without even perceiving that there are intelligent beings in the multicoloured layer of moisture surrounding one rock. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091/25 "2009-04-26T03:08:23Z")
Those alien bastards love to probe my anus. **Stranger On A Train** has the right idea with his conjectures about mathematics. The Bo’whara are not humans in rubber suits or animatronic puppets, or cool CGI. They are truly alien and think and act in ways that are incomprehensible to us. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091/26 "2009-04-26T04:34:36Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I disagree. I don’t think that it’s necessary for the aliens to know we exist in order to affect us. > > At least with enslavers or conquerors, they may be close enough to us that there’s a form of communication, but how would we communicate with, say, planet-sized space-based beings who see the planets as mere mass for their thrusters? They might start to break the solar system up without even perceiving that there are intelligent beings in the multicoloured layer of moisture surrounding one rock. OTOH, they could be so small that you destroyed their probe the last time you walked to your mail box. And their last invasion was foiled when my neighbor’s dog took a dump on their fleet. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091/27 "2009-04-26T15:59:11Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Those alien bastards love to probe my anus. > . “Alien bastards probe my anus”. BAND NAME! ---
**Author:** ![santosvega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@santosvega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/santosvega)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091/28 "2009-04-27T02:47:11Z")
[QUOTE] Even if it meant the cruel enslavement of the entire human race, I’d still want to encounter an extra-terrestrial. Because that’d be so freaking awesome. I bet they’d have a really cool language!/QUOTE] Well, my friend, you’re in luck this week: [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3119253&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1](http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3119253&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1) Interesting thread from any angle, until it abruptly cuts off a few days ago. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091/29 "2009-04-27T03:26:41Z")
Something about the OP reminded me of the joke: So this hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear and takes with him his trusty 22-gauge rifle. After a little while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, though, the bear is gone. A moment later the bear taps this guy on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can either rip your throat out and eat you alive, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and I’ll do you in the ass.” The hunter figures that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers, bends over, and the bear delivers on his promise. After the bear leaves, the hunter pulls up his trousers and staggers into town vowing revenge. He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest. He sees the same bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear once again is gone. A moment later, the bear taps him on the shoulder and says, “You know what to do.” Afterwards, the hunter pulls up his trousers and crawls back into town. Now he’s really mad, so he buys himself a bazooka. He returns to the forest, sees the bear, aims, and fires. When the smoke clears this time, the bear taps him on the shoulder and says, “You’re not REALLY here for the hunting are you?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-desperately-i-want-to-meet-an-extra-terrestrial/494091.md?page=1)