# How did you meet your SO? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2008, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800 "2008-03-02T02:32:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/21 "2008-03-02T05:29:07Z")
We got locked into a building together. Honestly. A mutual friend was what, through some circuitous and serendipitous route, brought us to that building. That was 8 years ago (well, in 9 days it will have been). ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/22 "2008-03-02T05:46:39Z")
[QUOTE=Loach] I agree, it is a very bad idea to date anyone you work with. I remember the last person I thought about dating at work. All the women at work liked her. A lot more than they liked me. If we went out and it didn’t work out I would have had to quit and find another job. Bad idea. [/QUOTE] My best friend in Thailand, a fellow American upcountry, ended up marrying his secretary! She actually continued working for a good while until his company instituted a no-married-couples policy. She had to quit because of that. But sometimes these things do work out. They have a great marriage and two beautiful daughters. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/23 "2008-03-02T06:01:25Z")
Met him at a bar. I used to smoke, and he asked to borrow my lighter. (This was back in the day when smoking was allowed in bars). Now, the fact that he still smokes is one of the few things that we argue about. Anyhow, the fact that we both knew the bartender is what truly brought us beyond the ‘random person in a bar’ scenario. In fact, I had to break our first date to go to a funeral (really!), and she was able to vouch for me because of course that sounded fishy to him. In trying to help you figure out your issue, I’m thinking of others I know and where they met their spouses or SOs. I come up with: bar internet work friends AA meeting psych unit where they were both patients YMMV, with all of these. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/24 "2008-03-02T07:22:10Z")
I used to work with my Darling Marcie’s sister; she introduced us and its been fantastic for the last twelve years. ---
**Author:** ![ShermanAter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ShermanAter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShermanAter)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/25 "2008-03-02T08:21:36Z")
I met the love of my life on line. I was newly separated but my marriage had been over for years. I filled out a profile on a dating site so I could brows the wimmens. I had totally forgot about it and I got a reply 2 days before my trial membership was going to lapse. I honestly didn’t even remember signing up for the site. We both were into fly fishing and decided to meet up. The rest is history. We are going on 7 years now and I’ve never been happier. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/26 "2008-03-02T09:02:52Z")
It was totally an accident that I met my wife. I was advertising in the classifieds of a publication for collectors of Beatles items. She started as a customer, from more than a thousand miles away. Over a period of months, we got to be friends by mail. It threatened to become more than friendship, but there was the barrier of a border and all of that, which seemed insurmountable in the beginning. We might have cooled it, but what for? We seemed so compatible in so many areas we figured it would be wrong not to at least give it a shot. Here we are, twelve years later, coming up on our tenth anniversary. She was the best thing to ever show up in my mailbox! ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/27 "2008-03-02T10:36:31Z")
Londope November 2003… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/28 "2008-03-02T12:15:48Z")
Here’s another vote for online, but let me add ‘specialty interest’ sites. I’m a BBW and I met my SO on a BBW/FA site. We’ve been together over a year now. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/29 "2008-03-02T12:51:32Z")
I met my wife on the street, in front of the old (F St.) 9:30 club. I had a friend in town and we went to the 9:30 club to see Jazz Butcher and Mary’s Danish on November 4th, 1989. My wife went with friends from work, and some other friends that many of whom are still dear friends to this day. Anyway, a conversation was struck up over whether a particular parking spot was legal or not. We ended up talking in the club, I got her number, and we’ve been together ever since. Simple as that. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/30 "2008-03-02T13:04:33Z")
[QUOTE=SomeUserName] He was my bartender. [/QUOTE] I was HIS bartender. He was a regular at my bar for about a year and a half. When I broke up with my then-SO, I would play sad songs on the jukebox and laugh about them with him. He had broken up with his own SO shortly before moving here and he sympathized with my drama. And he could always make me laugh. After I was single for almost a year, he finally–as he says–got up the nerve to hit on me. (Apparently it’s very difficult to hit on a female bartender, even and especially if you’ve been pals for awhile.) This may not be helpful as specific guidance–unless you plan on bartending as away to meet your SO–but as “random act of fate” I think it qualifies. You never know where you’ll find that girl or that guy. I’ve been bartending for over 7 years and he’s the first and only customer who’s ever even scored a date with me. So you just never know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Marienee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Marienee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marienee)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/31 "2008-03-02T13:13:12Z")
On a blind date. I thought he was a badly dressed arrogant bastard (but cute) and he thought I was mouthy and opinionated with really bad taste in clothes (but cute). Nevertheless we were both polite and in general had a nice time – but both went back to our friends and asked what the hell they were thinking on that one, we were so obviously not compatible. So obviously we had to get married. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/32 "2008-03-02T14:04:42Z")
I met my wife in church. I had just moved to a small town and I was going to attend church regardless. But which one? There was only one church in town large enough to support a single adult Sunday school group, so I joined that one and that’s where I met her. I had recently come out of a relationship with a difficult break-up and I wasn’t looking to “date” – just be with other singles who might have shared interests and opportunities to hang out, talk, whatever. I think that’s when most people find someone–when they’re not really trying. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/33 "2008-03-02T14:13:33Z")
My husband and I met through a dating site. My SO before that (together 15 years, still friends) through the precursor of a dating site, a personal ad. Reasons? The same ones\*\* featherlou \*\*gave. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/34 "2008-03-02T15:11:50Z")
Met: AmsterDope, March 2001. Married: California, May 2002. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/35 "2008-03-02T15:13:31Z")
We met at freshman orientation of college when we were 18. He struck me as an incredibly nerdy, ridiculously nice guy. His nerdiness fit so completely with his niceness it was head-shakingly sad. (Sample e-mail line: ‘‘I’m so sorry to hear you’re sick. I would make you chicken soup, but I’m allergic to it. All I have in my dorm are garbonzo beans.’’ :rolleyes: ) Though we ended up in the same dorm building, I ignored him for several months. He dropped by my dorm one night and we had a very unexpected and intense conversation until about 4am, which of course made me avoid him like the plague for the following year out of pure mortification. But eventually we got married. Ever consider going back to school? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/36 "2008-03-02T15:17:20Z")
“Met”: Online, in 1997. I was 19, he was 21. I had just gotten home from a party and was tipsy, he was sending out random IMs to locals who seemed interesting and had stumbled across my profile. I would have ignored him, like I ignored most other random strangers, were I not a bit drunk and somewhat bored. Met: About three weeks later, got some Chinese food and coffee. Married: Seven years later, after we both had plenty of time to sow our wild oats and realized that there was a whole world full of people out there, none of whom would ever be as good for us as we are for each other. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/37 "2008-03-02T15:19:26Z")
I met my husband in a bar, but I wouldn’t recommend that method…way too hit or miss. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/38 "2008-03-02T15:20:58Z")
I met my Beloved at a science fiction convention in Seattle, Norwescon, a quarter century ago. We were married about four years later. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/39 "2008-03-02T15:25:19Z")
We were both still on active duty in the Navy. He was on medical hold and assigned to the base marina. I had just returned from a 6-month deployment to Sicily and I wanted to learn to sail. He was the sailing instructor. After our first day on the water, we went to a movie. Four weeks later, we were married. That was in 1983. So far, so good. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800/40 "2008-03-02T15:41:43Z")
I’m hoping to meet her here: > **[Meetup | Find Local Groups, Events, and Activities Near You](https://www.meetup.com/)** > > Find Meetup events, join groups, or start your own. Make new friends and connect with like-minded people. Meet people near you who share your interests. It isn’t just dating—in fact, it’s mostly NOT dating. If you like to play cards, want to see movies with people, practice a language, join a political candidate’s efforts and more, you can do it here. Type in your zip code or use a keyword like “origami” or whatever floats your boat. If figure that if I don’t meet someone, I’m doing something I enjoy anyway. An anecdote: I went to my first meetup in August, with a group that likes listening to live jazz. The very first person I talked to was attractive enough, nice to talk to, etc., and there was some chemistry. Someone said to her, “Hey, will you be at the event Saturday?” She said no, she had to take a class. Turns out she was getting her concealed carry permit. “My ex boyfriend has been acting kinda crazy and I decided to be prepared for anything.” Now, she was friendly; I really don’t know how interested she was, but _my_ interest evaporated right then and there. I knew: if I had met her through a dating site, there’s NO WAY she would have revealed that information. In general I think it’s better to meet people who have similar interests, get to know them in a laid-back environment, make a few friends in the process, keep your ears open, and see what happens. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-meet-your-so/439800.md?page=3)