# How did you pick an executor? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 15, 2023, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616 "2023-08-15T19:30:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2023, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/21 "2023-08-16T13:58:56Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > I had the misconception that it was an ugly city. It’s not. When I was a kid we lived in Squirrel Hill. The steel mills were still active. We could stand on our porch and look toward downtown Pittsburgh and see the pollution discolored sky. We could also see the top of the [Gulf Building and get a weather report according to the lights atop the structure.](https://www.wpxi.com/archive/this-day-march-25-1990-gulf-tower-weather-beacon-returns-after-going-dark-1974/Z2S53Z644JE73EA3SWINIBSQOQ/) ETA: back then the rivers were horribly polluted. Now they are pretty clean and you can catch fish! ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2023, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/22 "2023-08-16T14:26:37Z")
Aside from each other, my wife and I have named my oldest friend as executor. We’ve known each other since we were three and are like sisters. She’s our age, but we’re currently only in our early 50s, so will probably revise the executor choice when my nieces and nephews are older. I haven’t left her any money, but I’ve left her a very nice, pricey watch. She loves watches. ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2023, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/23 "2023-08-16T14:51:18Z")
I’ve named my brother, second to my wife, as executor. He’s done the same with me. We are 5 years apart and both in our fifties, so it’s good for now. As my kids get older, I will shift to them in a decade or so. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2023, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/24 "2023-08-16T17:59:39Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > If anyone has been in the same boat how did you proceed? Our law firm acts as our executor. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2023, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/25 "2023-08-16T19:00:06Z")
I will definitely look into that. When I croak my wife won’t need much help. She gets everything. It’s only if we both get hit by a meteor. She is sufficiently younger than me that when I die she can change it how she wants ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2023, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/26 "2023-08-16T19:31:10Z")
That’s what I was going to say; you can have the law firm act in that capacity if you want. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2023, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/27 "2023-08-16T22:43:34Z")
I’ve always heard that the executor can (and should) charge the estate reasonable fees for their time and work. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2023, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/28 "2023-08-26T11:53:39Z")
Maybe a stupid question, but can the primary beneficiary or the sole beneficiary also be the executor? I don’t see why that should pose any sort of conflict. ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2023, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/29 "2023-08-26T12:43:15Z")
They can be, and frequently are, though it’s not always in the estate’s interest to do it like that. ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2023, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/30 "2023-08-26T13:47:22Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Maybe a stupid question, but can the primary beneficiary or the sole beneficiary also be the executor? I don’t see why that should pose any sort of conflict. Yep, my wife would be both beneficiary and executor (and vice versa). ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2023, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/31 "2023-08-27T00:47:56Z")
None of our kids live anywhere near us or even in Canada, so we will have a fiduciary administer our estate. Each of us leaves everything to the other and then divided equally among the kids. A good friend of mind was/is the executor of his father-in-law’s estate and it has essentially occupied his entire life (he is retired) for the last 5 or 6 years and it is still not settled. The complication is a property occupied by one of his sisters-in-law who has not and cannot pay rent and cannot move and the other children have spent five years avoiding deciding what to do about her. ---
**Author:** ![Beesnest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@Beesnest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beesnest)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2023, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616/32 "2023-09-06T23:56:01Z")
I just did that. At 74 I finally set up a living trust. ( Don’t think that was necessary but… that is what I did) I had beneficiary designations for my financial accounts . I chose my youngest brother by elimination. My older sister and I are in a race to the finish, my other sister is married to a overbearing control freak and well here we are. I am on one coast -he is on the other . I hope that he can use a legal rep in my state to handle the transfer. I hope I will have sold my real estate and even my car by then. And step two is to get a pre arranged body disposal. It is hard giving information out. I don’t really want to share but I don’t know how to get that information to him without temptation. I know that he and the other 2 beneficiaries could use money now but I have intentions of spending a lot of it down. This is not easy is it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-you-pick-an-executor/988616.md?page=1)