# How different are you from your parents? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2004, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299 "2004-10-15T01:14:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/21 "2004-10-15T19:22:43Z")
> [@Caricci](#): > > In fact, I don’t think being dirt poor (like they were) and being parents is acceptable - no offense to any of you dirt poor parents. None taken! ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/22 "2004-10-15T19:30:16Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > OMG, are you my long-lost sister?? 😉 I think we must have had the same mother, from the sound of it! Brother, maybe! I was describing both parents in that quote, but the shoe definitely fit. ---
**Author:** ![mamakat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@mamakat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamakat)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/23 "2004-10-16T03:18:14Z")
I sure as hell hope I’m not anything like my father. He’s cold, uncaring, and was abusive for 16 years before he kicked me out of the house. He has gotten better, but as an example, I let him know about a month ago that I was getting a divorce and his letter of comfort (as he called it) was to tell me that if it was my fault I was basically going to hell and if it wasn’t, I - and especially my kids, would suffer for the rest of our lives. :rolleyes: On the other hand, I hope I’m a lot like my mom was, as she was exactly the opposite of my dad. Unfortunately, she died when I was 15, so I don’t really know and no one I know now knew her, so they can’t tell me either. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2004, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/24 "2004-10-16T04:41:20Z")
I’m definitely more like my father in most ways, but with one big difference. For a lot of his life my father was unhappy, almost bitter, about the way things had turned out. My mother, on the other hand, had grown up dirt poor, without indoor plumbing, and was delighted to be in a position where she owned a home, didn’t have to take care of seven younger brothers and sisters, and could afford to see a doctor when she was sick. Fortunately for me, my outlook leans more toward my mother’s. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2004, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/25 "2004-10-16T05:16:03Z")
I have elements of both parents in me. Like my dad, I think I have a decent sense of humor and am totally politically incorrect. I also drink like him, which is to say heavily and with gusto. Like my father I also paint and draw; but he’s way better at it than me. (He’s actually a publicly-recognized “local artist” where we live.) Like my mom, I am compulsively neat; adore shopping and girlie lunches; dislike cooking for the most part; attend church regularly and never leave the house without perfume and rouge. Like both parents, I am politically conservative and love Spam, chicken salad and Scrabble. Unlike my parents, I have a very bad temper, am a long-time fan of the Sex Pistols and the Ramones, and throw things when I get mad. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/26 "2004-10-17T03:38:22Z")
I’m surprised by the amount of people who have made such definite attempts to not be their parents. Like many of you, I don’t drink. I’ve seen what alcohol can do to people, and how it can turn them into huge assholes, and I don’t want any part of THAT, thank-you. My mother was hell when she was drunk; a real bitch-fiend to the point that you’d swear she couldn’t be the same person… and she used to drink pretty much continuously for a while there. She still drinks occasionally, but not to excess any more. One of the rare folks who can actually make the transition from alcohol addict to occasional social drinker without having to give it up forever because they can’t control themselves. It’s left me with some (so I’ve been told) strange hangups with regard to alcohol. I won’t stay at a party if people are actively getting shit-faced - though drinking \*per se \* doesn’t bother me, and tipsy is fine, if they’re deliberately setting out to get raging drunk I don’t want to be there. This is even more definite as I get older - I think by the time they’re in their late 20s people should have gotten past the point of going out purely with the intent to get shitfaced, acknowledging before they start that they’ll be spending the following day spewing their guts up. Even in teens I think that attitude is nothing short of moronic, but in adults it’s beyond idiotic. My guideline for leaving someone’s company is the point at which their ‘another drink’ has become non-optional and instead a requirement. Frankly, at that point, I’m making my goodbyes. I won’t transport a drunk in my car, ever - if need be, I’d pay a taxi, though I think if they can afford booze they can damn well afford a cab ride. Not only do I not drink (except on rare occasions, and minimal quantities) but I don’t smoke or do any kind of drugs since my parents and brother all have addictive personalities and I recognise the same trait in myself. I guess that’s only sort of worked though, 'cos I bite my nails horribly and I’m extremely overweight - I suppose I’ve just substituted food and nailbiting for other addictions. On the other hand, they don’t impact on anyone other than myself in any way, so I guess in that respect - mission accomplished. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2004, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/27 "2004-10-17T12:24:27Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > Brother, maybe! I was describing both parents in that quote, but the shoe definitely fit. Ooops, sorry. :o ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/28 "2004-10-17T23:43:08Z")
My mother and I are in the interesting situation of having almost identical personalities and wildly contrasting upbringings (we also look a lot alike). We tend to clash a lot, but generally speaking our relationship is good, though not close. I can think of a few things from my childhood that I will do differently with my kids, but I have no major complaints about the way I was raised. I’m ashamed to say that I don’t know my father well enough to answer the question, although we do have similar academic leanings. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2004, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/29 "2004-10-18T02:25:10Z")
Well, I’m younger than they are… In looks I take after my mother’s side of the family (lots of hair, tall, bulky, runs to fat, round face), but personalitywise, I’m more like my father (introverted, unemotional, argumentitive, sarcastic). ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299/30 "2004-10-18T03:46:32Z")
I’m physically more like my mom than my dad, but that’s not saying much - my dad and I don’t look at all alike. Like my mom, I am very fair skinned with straight, light brown hair and blue eyes. People have often guessed (correctly) that I am of Irish descent. No one _ever_ guesses that I am also of Russian Jewish descent - my dad has olive skin, curly black hair, and dark eyes. But other than coloring, I don’t think my mom and I look particularly alike. My parents have been married for 32 years, and I do get along with them very well. I think I am actually pretty similar to them - we’re all politically liberal and mostly enjoy the same TV shows and movies (well, I got my dad totally hooked on _Buffy_ and _Angel_, my mom couldn’t bear the violence). We’re all fans of the Giants and Niners. (When my sister was a teenager and wanted to rebel, she announced that she didn’t care about the Giants anymore. Not a popular sentiment.) The biggest differences are probably that they’re atheists and I’m not and I have a better temper than my dad. Also, I live in Chicago and they live in the Bay Area. And I’m a vegetarian and they’re not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-different-are-you-from-your-parents/269299.md?page=1)