# How do I buy a monkey? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 14, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360 "2004-01-14T05:37:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/1 "2004-01-14T05:37:55Z")
Forget state laws, I’ll find that out on my own. I’m talking the type that “Ross” had on the show Friends. I’ve seen the same species in Bruce Almighty. I have to assume that with training these can be kept as pets. However, I don’t know where to begin to look for one. Anyone know if one can be bought through a dealer, do you have to go through a gov’t (US) agency? Again, I can find out local ordinances, just looking for info on how to contact someone that sells them. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/2 "2004-01-14T05:40:49Z")
I forgot. Most important, what is the species of said monkey so I can research if it’s appropriate for my family. (temperment, trainability, etc) Last, are there any other species that can be domesticated? ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/3 "2004-01-14T07:14:00Z")
[The Perils of Keeping Monkeys as Pets](http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/09/0916_030916_primatepets.html) from the National Geographic Society. [The Problem With Primates](http://exoticpets.about.com/cs/primates/a/primatesaspets.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/4 "2004-01-14T14:52:24Z")
I particularly like this line from The Perils of Keeping Monkeys as Pets from the National Geographic Society: > [@](#): > > No federal laws regulate private ownership, and only nine states ban individuals from owning nonhuman primates. Which leads me to wonder if it’s OK in those 9 states to own human pets…? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/5 "2004-01-14T15:06:10Z")
Consider a [Sugar Glider](http://www.animalnetwork.com/critters/profiles/sugarglider/) instead? Flying Opossoms! Cool! 🆒🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/6 "2004-01-14T15:08:25Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > I particularly like this line from The Perils of Keeping Monkeys as Pets from the National Geographic Society: > > Which leads me to wonder if it’s OK in those 9 states to own human pets…? You could ask my ex-wife that question. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/7 "2004-01-14T18:55:22Z")
Thanks for shattering my dreams Duckster. Bastard. Oh well, guess I’ll stick to Pugs. Thanks for the info. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/8 "2004-01-14T19:29:28Z")
I know what it’s like to crave an animal that really isn’t suitable for pet ownership, so can I make some suggestions. 1. Get a suitable pet that is somewhat similar in physical type, function or character (eg cuddly, walkable, beautiful, intelligent, cute, swimming, slimy, big teeth, long tail, whatever). A dog seems like a good choice for you as a subsitute monkey! 2. Visit your dream animal in zoos and wildlife parks whenever you can. 3. Consider volunteering at a local animal charity/rescue park which looks after exotic breeds rescued from unsuitable homes. 4. Sponsor an endangered version of your dream animal. 5. Treat yourself to a dream holiday, such as a safari, where you will get to see your dream animal in the wild. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/9 "2004-01-14T19:55:46Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > I forgot. Most important, what is the species of said monkey so I can research if it’s appropriate for my family. (temperment, trainability, etc) Last, are there any other species that can be domesticated? Ross’ monkey was a [capuchin](http://www.capuchin-monkeys.com/), _Cebus capuccinus_. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/10 "2004-01-14T20:35:05Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Which leads me to wonder if it’s OK in those 9 states to own human pets…? Well, you’re looking at Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/11 "2004-01-14T23:45:18Z")
I second the recommendation for a sugar glider. From what I hear, they are wonderful little pets ---
**Author:** ![sajwalke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/edb3f5/32.png) [@sajwalke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sajwalke)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/12 "2004-01-15T01:16:38Z")
Beware cheap monkeys: [I like monkeys.](http://people.redhat.com/blizzard/monkeys.txt) ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-buy-a-monkey/224360/13 "2004-01-15T01:22:43Z")
“Would you like to buy a monkey?” -Earl Hofert